Remain

Remain

A Poem by Andromeda
"

random

"

Across the room,

Across the steadfast

            click

            Click

            click

Of preaching, professional heels

Of the crowd walking

            Between

            us,

Across the fears,

Across the

            Tongue-stuck-to-roof-of-mouth

            Feeling,

I know what you are thinking.

I know what you are thinking

            and I try to send you

            a wink

            In return

            But

My eyes will do nothing but

            Twitch

And the

            Knowing smile

            I try to send you—

The knowing smile

I bought

at the

Nickel-and-Dime Store

            Must have been faulty.

 

So I’ll pretend I took no notice of you

and you’ll pretend you took no notice of me

            As we walk on into the blue

            Maybe our paths will cross again—

            We’ll se.

 

For now

We’ll remain—

            Strangers—

As we will be.

 

 

© 2008 Andromeda


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Reviews

only criticism is this:

Maybe our paths will cross again-
We'll se.

shouldread "we'll see".

once again a fantastic write. it almost feels like a slam poem - it has that energy and devotion to the topic, it feels as if this could just roll out, fully formed, with no rough edges.
for now, we'll remain strangers.


Posted 17 Years Ago


Um. Interesting. Actually...the pacing makes this unique - not sure where the "know what you're thinking" part would've came from, but this was a truly intriguing piece. l did notice a typo - "We'll se" should be "We'll see" (no biggie though).
But other than that... the way you presented the knowing smile bought faulty... the toungue stuck to the roof of the mouth... these were very well done - love the twist on normal images, the sense of humor you put into this. well done.

Posted 17 Years Ago


I like it! On one line, in the second to last stanza, I believe there is a mistake. It says "We'll se" I think you meant "we'll see". Anyway, I like the meaning. I think many people have done this before. I like lines "the knowing smile / I bought / at the / Nickel-and-Dime store / Must have been faulty". It's fun.

Posted 17 Years Ago



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Added on February 22, 2008

Author

Andromeda
Andromeda

About
I never know what to put in these sections. so... Me= KIM Poetic Epiphany Jesus Freak Type 1 diabetic Aspiring writer Artist Soccer player and referee Music lover Movie fanatic Good friend.. more..

Writing
Land Ones Land Ones

A Poem by Andromeda