Lazybones

Although this story is set from a teenager's perspective about a parent, it could be interpreted from an employee to an employer and how sometimes... unfortunately... words don't always fit.

 

S. L. Ganier

Lazybones

 

 

Clean up your room, and I mean clean. Pick up all the stuff that’s on the floor and make sure the carpet gets vacuumed. Don’t just throw stuff into the closet. Take the time to keep everything neat. Strategically take everything off of the table… the desk… the everything, and dust, dust, and dust some more. Polish it up. Polish it up until you can see yourself. I know you wouldn’t do anything unless I was here to tell you Lazybones, so today you’re going to do everything. But I just got back from making sure the yard was- you need to work hard and get rid of your laziness.

    Your grades are dropping, as always. Keep them up. Don’t slack. You don’t want to do your class work, just like you don’t do your chores. You don’t pick up after yourself. You don’t keep everything together. Keep everything organized. Be more organized. Take your time. Get those A’s. Make sure your clothes are clean. The clothes are in the washer right n- Shave every other day. Those bristles will scare off the ladies. You call those little worms on your chin a beard? Get a haircut.

    You always leave pots and pans all over the place. Or do you just not see them? Are you blind? Your stereo’s always too loud and you never answer the phone. The neighbors will have at your throat one day if you keep them awake all night. If someone complains to you, listen to ‘em, use those ears of yours and don’t be a smart-a*s. Pick up the dog’s s**t. Make sure the bathroom’s clean just in case company comes over. Don’t break any of the porcelain dolls that I bought. There are so many ridiculously expensive porcelain dolls everywhere that- Seriously… This whole household would break down if you were on your own, wouldn’t it? I’ll answer that one… Yes. You’re just so lazy that I can’t even understand how you… Look at this…

    Don’t eat all of the food. There are other people around too, ya know? Dress properly. You only have a billion dress shirts. Instead of interrupting me when I’m making important business e-mails on the computer, why don’t you press your clothes? But you’ve been laid off for almost two year- Whatever you do, make sure other people know that you can take care of yourself. They come in here seeing a pigsty and then you’ll be the big fat pig that everyone wants to make bacon out of. And don’t waste your food.

    Drive under the speed limit and park under the shade. You don’t want that super thin sheet of clear goodness that you call a windshield being melted by the extreme powers of the sun’s rays. That doesn’t even make sense- When someone makes fun of you, ignore ‘em. If you get into a fight, everyone’ll think you’re some kind of wild animal with nothing to do other than make weird gestures to women with your pervert eyeballs. Is that what you want? If you were on your own, you’d fail horribly… and there’d be nobody to blame but yourself. You’re just so lazy I don’t see how you’re going to make it on your own.

    These are the things you need to do in order to take care of yourself. Nobody’ll do it for you, so just go out there and do it. Whatever… I’m going to work. You’re barely sixteen! Are you telling me that after all this you’re going to be the type of person who has no life because you’re working instead of enjoying your youth?

Author's Note

The words in italics are from the mind of the youth in the story.

Reviews

[Kasey]

I thought it was great! Though, I was surprised to learn that the youth was only sixteen. For most of the article I felt like I was in the mind of a college student. I guess that just goes to show one can forgo mature obligations at any age.

But still very good. I love how it can be interpreted in multiple ways. I saw it more as an argument with oneself, but I also get the parent/child relationship too.

It was a fun read. Keep up the good work!