The burden of thirst.

It's Gonzo baby...gonzo.

 

I walked into the gas station thirsty as hell. I stood in front of the frosted doors and saw the choice that lay before me. One part of the cooler was filled with Pepsi the part was a red sea of coke. I was thrown into a conundrum and was beginning to feel extremely foolish. How would I ever be able to choose? Would I go with the choice of a new generation? I didn't feel like that was something I was apart of. In fact, I hated this goddamned "new" generation. Me going with those b******s wouldn't be right. I had always considered myself to be semi-progressive so going with the 'classic' felt equally wrong. I began to meditate on the two brands commercials. Pepsi hadn’t made a good ad it a long time. Coke had a few good ones but most of them just annoyed me with their preachy peace and love bullshit.

            In the fifth minute of staring at that cold glass I came to the conclusion that this was not a choice I would be able to make on my own. I reached for my phone and dialed Chris.

 

            "Chris, I need your advice. I'm at the Gas station again and I don't know what drink I should get."

 

                        "Ouch, I know how you feel. I don't think I’ll be very much help but I’ll try. Do you consider your self a classic kind of guy, or are you a part of the new generation?"

 

            "That’s my problem Chris. I don’t feel like I fit into either of those. They both seem so irrelevant to who I am."

 

                        "Well I hate to let you down, but this is something that you’re going to have to work out by yourself. Nobody but you can find out whether you’re a coke or a Pepsi guy. A man has to find out what category he falls into by himself. Each one of us has to face the burden of beverage."

 

            "But can't you just pick one or the other for me. God, it would so much easier that way. What do you drink?"

 

                        "I've already told you I can't do this for you. Why did you even start with this? You and I both know that you aren’t ready to make this decision. You should at least put a few more years under your belt before you start to think about things like these. This isn't something that you can just walk into a store and deiced. Things like this take time, lots of time."

 

            "I know. I know, I was dumb. But I'm already here so what do I do now?"

                       

                        "Have you tried looking at the labels at all? Is their maybe one label that you like more than the other?"

 

            "The labels both seem the same to me. One is blue and one’s red. But the color would really only change my mind if one of them was green. Green is my favorite."

                       

                        "And both of the drinks cost the same?"

           

            "Down to the last cent."

                       

                        "Well, I really don't know what to tell you. If I were you I’d just walk out of that store right now and forget that this ever happened. Next time you should think things through a little bit more before you go and make a rash decision like this."

           

I hung up the phone, hung my head in shame and walked out of the store. I was still thirsty as hell.