She was destined for Atlantis

The shrapnel

of her exploding life

barely missed my head

I should have known

that I can't keep all boats

from crashing on the rocks

I should not have been

the rising tide

lifting her boat

I'll shed a tear, or two

for as I let her go

I know

she'd be taking water soon

and unless I want to sink too

I'll have to point my rudder

towards

a distant happiness.

Author's Note

Painting, On the Rocks, by Ivan Avazovsky

Reviews

[Ken e Bujold]

great extended metaphor SV. know the feeling well, saw a few of my vessels flounder off hostile shores before sinking beneath the waves to Atlantis. I read your work and reflected on my recent All in Captain, once again reminded of just how fortunate I am to have found the one guiding light to steer me clear of such wrecks.
ken

[John the Baptist]

The imagery is nautical, but it a metaphor for a doomed relationship. The speaker apparently has decided the other is a sinking ship and is now moving sorrowfully away. Sometimes such is necessary, if only to keep from being sucked under oneself.

[carl]

there are those times when abandon ship is the only way to survive the shrapnel of an exploding life. We can not be the rising tide in all situations. well done a good read.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear poet. Sometimes, we can't stop a sinking ship.
"I know
she'd be taking water soon
and unless I want to sink too
I'll have to point my rudder
towards
a distant happiness."
The above lines. I did like. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thank you very much my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my dear friend.

[willweb]

Now that was very cool. I love the undertow of this piece...the dual meanings woven through, and the ending was spot on. Nicely done.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thank you. The wife is in spring cleaning mode and I stumbled upon a box of dusty poems. Maybe there is still some oomf left in me!

[willweb]

Hey, spring cleaning in the fall sounds like a fun concept. : )

[SleeplessVolcano]

We could start a world-wide trend called fall cleaning! "She fell for him during a random urge of fall cleaning"....got a ring to it lol

[willweb]

It does, I like that..."She fell for him during a random urge of fall cleaning, only to find that his heart and his mind were tilted and spring leaning" : )

[SleeplessVolcano]

You've heard about collab writing? lol - this could be the beginning of a novel. His first words to her were doomed from the start - "Don't tell me you're a virgo - Venus might be smiling on us tonight". She nearly tripped over the vacuum cleaner. "Do you want to try again? I just sucked up that astrological nonsense. If you want a second change, try astronomy".

[willweb]

That's funny...I think I wrote a poem that had Venus smiling down, or something like that.