All that once was

"experimental"

our shooting stars

washed up on the beach

where our footprints walked away

they burned the sand

shards of glass splintered

blood dripped from careless fingers

the ocean stopped

giving us more time

but our stars and hearts bled dry

Author's Note

A bit of an experiment: 3 verses, each with 4, 5 and 7 syllables. let me know what you think...:)

Reviews

[Alice Poésy]

Such a wonderful piece of how sometimes, not even time can preserve certain things as we run out of qualities to offer. "the ocean stopped" is such a powerful image - and still "our stars and hearts bled dry". Such a sad picture, but very realistic indeed. Sometimes it's the stars, others it's the time and sometimes it's our "careless fingers".

I applaud you on the structure! It takes lots of skill to keep it this organised. Well done!

[SleeplessVolcano]

lol@ keeping it organised - I'm rather chaotic, but I guess maybe the little "order" I have manifests in my poetry.....thank you for your kind comments. :)

[Alice Poésy]

It has. This is what I'd call: quite neat :)

And you're welcome!

[D]

The format is well thought out, the style is something new to me. I loved it

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!!
erupted like a volcano........
absolutely fantastic...........loved it!!!!
kudos!!!
:)

[Sami Khalil]

This was so good. You write wonderfully...:).....................