Death denied

"the horror of war"

I looked at my misty reflection
In the shower's glass door,
A haunting wraithlike whisper -
I once saw in the war.

I lay in muddy trenches
Held by limbs and legs
of those souls perished
With their bodies now in shreds

I saw the bits of my own soul
Drifting in bloody mud
Waiting for death to fetch me
While I chewed on horror's cud

Then a stretcher spoiled my longing
To rest with all the others
They picked up my remaining pieces
And denied me death with brothers.

Author's Note

When I visited the Canadian National Vimy Memorial in France, the beautiful rolling green grass looked so serene, but nearly a 100 years ago, in 1917, trenches there were filled with dying bodies of valiant soldiers.

Reviews

[Gee]

Loved this.The sacrifices made on the battlefields of world war 1 will never be forgotten.(nor other wars)A whole generation of young men selflessly,naively gave up their lives to make the world a better place.Have posted a couple on this subject,perhaps not to this standard though.Very well penned

[Ally F.]

I think that even if the picture wasn't there the poem paints the perfect picture all by itself. I think this gives a really great perspective.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thank you very much. I have been fortunate to have been spared the horrors of war first hand, but I did complete basic training and experienced to a certain extent what some people may go through when people are dying around them......not a great a place to be........

[rubie]

For people who have never seen the horrors of war first-hand, it is a tough thing to capture with words.

You have nailed it to perfection.

I think the fact that the speaker wished for death gives the reader an idea of how horrific war can be. Rather than live with the memories of seeing his comrades perish, he'd rather perish along with them.

Well penned!

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thanks Rubie....it is something amazing how simply we can be inspired.....a picture, a place, a word, and then the poem just suddenly appears.....:)

[....................]

as a student (and once teacher) of History, and being a Newfoundlander, i am moved by this piece...at the time we were a country, fighting alongside the British, and during the course of the war, our island saw the loss of more than 1300 men, many who fell before making it out of the trenches...a great uncle of mine served in the Great War but never spoke about it and i always believed it was because he always felt that he should have gone with his comrades...you paint such a vivid picture here, SV: while some would fight for life, your speaker longed for death...well-done

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thanks FT! We always need to remember those fallen heroes......

[Winslow Des Totes]

This is very haunting and very poignant in spirit. There was always a great emphasis of honor in dying on the battlefield and being carted off while dying must have not only been a slap in the face to those in the grip of death but also terrifying to those afraid of it; either way their bodies had been mangled by the fight. It's truly a terrifying ordeal for anyone to go through and you portrayed it well with your use of striking diction and syntax. I especially liked the lines "Waiting for death to fetch me
While I chewed on horror's cud" very strong vocabulary especially the word cud which you don't hear very often but definitely leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth. Very well done.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thank you very much for your thoughtful and spot-on review......rumor has it English has 500 000 words, 200 000 more than second place German, so I am slowly making my way up the mountain of conquering ALL of them....LOL....excluding medical, legal, botanical, scientific.....and ummmm.....horrible ones.....;)