Hypochondriac

"it's all in his head"

He pops a pill to get out of bed
And another one to sooth his throbbing head.
His appetite gets a welcome shot -
A vitamin boost from a grey whatnot.

Bubbling fizzy of echinacea tonic;
Won't noni juice, make him bionic?
Fat-blocker keeping his heart in check;
Quick tonic to salvage his liver's wreck.

His happy pill keeps him smiling all day
And Ritalin keeps his distractions at bay
Off to the doc for his toxic hors d'oeuvres
And to get something for that pesky pinched nerve.

This time the orange one will help him detox
To prevent those horrible metabolism shocks
For no reason at all, though, he just wants to weep
Oh, d****t, he forgot, tonight he won't sleep.

Reviews

[Gee]

Clever know a few of these.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! sounds like me in my declining years .. i have all those symptoms but have relegated the cures to one tall pint of hefty beer a day ... :) this especially tweeked me:
"A vitamin boost from a grey whatnot."
my love and i recently bought a Ninja to try the Dr. Oz 7 day juice fast .. she made it 3 days and i managed the whole 7 but cheated on every one ;} ... the concoctions were very much as you suggest .. made me smile! oh my ..me back is slipping ..i just know it is ..must away to make a chiropractor's appointment ..ouch ..oh no here comes the head throb ahhhhhhhhhrrrrgh!
E.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Ooohhhh....you give me an idea now.....Hypochondriac's Anonymous.......we will do a roaring trade.....and I will split the proceeds with.......60 / 30.......no I am not trying to cheat you! You are just paranoid again......;)

I am glad you enjoyed it!

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ........... 60/30? who gets the other 10?? i must have 60/40 and responsible for half the work ..we'll fleece them all!

[~]

mmm, an absentminded one? or someone that knows how to play his cards well :D

[SleeplessVolcano]

Absentminded? Me? Never ever! ;)......The only cards I know how to play well are report cards....;)

[....................]

such a clever and entertaining piece that also examines the day in the life of a true hypochondriac...