Prologue to Nothing

So he feels his face burning,

by the light of this newborn heaven.

One bullet, fired into the air,

now landing on the fields of men.

Like those unmasked endless lies,

The faces of ogres do break in pieces.

A common truth for all,

To the lost and betrayed nomad,

Falling deep down darkness,

Once again.

Unconsciousness, his ally.

A final sigh, and he lays to rest.

Believing that he won't open those eyes no more,

Maybe in a dream his peace eternal could be.

But all dreams end...

As water and oil,

Nobody sleeps and breathes forever.

At the end, there's a new teardrop to break in.

Comfort yourselves,

Take advantage of the given grace,

And do marvel at the misfortune of this b*****d.

I will spit his misadventures on your faces.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. The last line is very triumphant and it changes the whole tone of the piece very well, I think. I'd suggest you change that 'thy' in the second to last stanza, though - it looks very out of place when you don't back it up with that sort of language throughout the whole piece, which you haven't. Other than that, this is well done.

[Slade]

That "thy" is actually a typo which I'm going to edit now, I overlooked it by accident. Thanks a lot!