The Bounty

Prologue in "Forbidden Love"

He starred into the eyes of the girl's picture. She was pretty, gorgeous even but he knew in his line of work looks could be deceieving. "Are you sure you're up to this? It won't be easy." said the man sitting behind the large desk. "I wasn't hoping for easy." said the hunter shoving the picture in his pocket. As he turned to leave he stopped with his hand on the large doorknob. "I'll be back with her head."

Reviews

[Fairytale]

I read this again and have some more feedback for you.
"She was pretty, gorgeous even but he knew in his line of work looks could be deceieving." - This is a great place to describe. Instead of saying the girl is pretty and gorgeous, you could describe how. What does she look like? This is the difference between telling and showing. The story seems to be going in a good direction, but I feel that something more could be done in order to pull the reader in. I'll read on.

[Fairytale]

Nice, brief introduction.

[Gone]

Two words. Bad. A*s.

[Mr.Six]

ouuu, i like the last little bit, hes bad assss

[Ryker Killian]

Too short babe.
You'll never get published with chapters this short
Work on length
AND, if they are vampires, or werewolfs, won't they have a DIFFERENT way of pseaking then we do?

[Daydreamer54]

ooh, well it definitly has me intrested to see wat this is about!