Chapter 1

Okay well in "The Messed Up Life Of Jade Porters" I'm gonna switch back and fourth between Jade's journal Enteries and chapters!

"Jade come down here!" Yelled Jade's mother from the downstairs kitchen. Just as she was about to yell up again she heard the sound of footsteps coming downstairs. Soon enough Jade appeared in the kitchen. Jade's mother greeted her daughter with a warm smile. Jade's face was cold and her voice was even colder. But Jade's mom ignored the expression on her daughters face and kept on her smile.
"Whats for dinner?"
"I made salmon." answered her mother
 "I hate fish." Said Jade
Her mother paused and looked as if she was trying very hard to remember something that happened in the past. The warm smile turned into what looked like a forced grin. The kind where people use at times when the kinda have to smile. Jade's mother simply said "What a shame" and turned her back on Jade.
This didn't seem to surprise Jade in anyway. Her mom had an odd tendency to make meals that Jade hated. Jade like usual, would simply have to fend for herself. Jade let out a long sigh and walked over to their "cereal closet." Jade grabbed a box of Apple Jacks and walked over to the small white fridge. "So how was school?" Asked Jade's mom handing her a bowl and spoon. Jade lied through her teeth and said "Fine." Things were the total opposite of fine. But of course Jade's mom was completely clueless. Jade sat down at the large marble table set in the middle of the kitchen. It never made any sense to Jade why her mom bought such a large marble table after her father passed away. They rarely had guest anyway. And yet the table was able to fit about 6 or 7 people! "Anything exciting happen?" This time Jade didn't have to lie. "Not really." Her mom then went silent for a moment before asking "Make any new friends?" The tone in her moms voice was cautious almost as if she was afraid of asking the question.  "No." Said Jade shoveling another spoonful of cereal in her mouth. "Oh." her mother answered shortly. After that conversation was over Jade's mom retreated to the living room to eat her meal. That also didn't shock Jade. Her mother ate alone now a days. Ever since July 21, 2001. The day my  father was killed.

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar on spelling problems! I know that someones going to find some but Just Ignore it! I'm only human!!!

Reviews

[Bridget Mcmaken]

Jade is a little mean to her mother. But great chapter, I really like this book and where it is going. Thanks for sharing!

[Calypso]

She's a little mean to her mom.

[Katseye]

Well already doing better than I could. Can't do chaptered stories for the life of me. Although as one of the others said, you may want to use more pronons, instead of always using proper names. I understand It can be hare to know when to use pronons, espcially when so far you on ly have two female chaictors in your story. You don't what your reader to get confused as to how's speaking. Another way to do this whould be to use pharagh breaks inbetween the speakers....

Jade grabed a box of Apple Jacks and walked over to the small whiote fridge. "So how was school?," asked her mom, handing her a boowl and spoon.

"Fine.," she lied.

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Not really."

"Make any new freinds?"

"No."

"OH."


This way you can still tell who is speaking without alway having to say it. Just somthing to keep in mind. B

But as always this is YOUR story, so write it as you want.

[Mary Evans]

Interesting idea for a story and very original beginning with the diary and all. The only problem i find with it is the repetition of "Jade." The name appears too often and i would use "her," "she" or something similar instead. Anyhow great start, keep at it.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I liked it. I thought it was good. Can't wait to read more thanks for sharing. :)