The Diary Of Lilith

Chapter 1 day 2

Ok first of all sorry there no day on was ment to be an interdiction to me and my life.... so ill go ahead tell who i am and why i didn't right chapter 1 day... so I'm Lilith Caine my 21st bday was yesterday that and i meet up with Jarick and fae last night and we all kinda of got a little to drunk and that's why i forgot to wright yesterday... so yeah I'll start day 2... oh wait i continue this and use it as day 2. Well now I guess i gotta tell y'all who Jarick and and Fae are well then let me start when i meet them... i first meet fae in our first year of middle school when i meet fae she was that nice quiet girl that was until this stupid little boy started to make fun i was going intervene but she massed him up to the point he had to go the hospital we got wind the he had 4 broken ribs and his right arm and left leg were broken as well.. they tryed kick fae out of school but they asked me to see if i could help her get control of her anger.. i asked why and they said it's due to the star student of the school ... i thought (of course she is we're the same age and its only been a months since we started school and she the favorite but i give it shot and see what happens) so i tolde them I'll do it i mean come we're both 10 years old.... so we hage out i helped her with her anger and she in return helped with my homework. Fae and me meet Jarick in our first year of high school he was that typical pretty-boy jock or so we thought it turned out that he wasn't just on the JV football team he was a member of the boxing team and the math team. So me and fae decided to join a couple of clubs. Fae end up joining the MMA club and the anime club and ad for me i joined the Chemistry, MMA, and the Psychology clubs... a mouth in school me and fae tryed out for cheerleading team...ok well fae wanted to so she could get closer (mister pretty-boy) jarick...ok look i know she liked him so i tryed out for cheerleading with her even though I disliked cheerleaders i did it for a friend and plus she would have guilted me in to it so yeah.... don't worry we most definitely made on the time well I did and fae said she would shatter there kneecaps if they didn't let her on the team witch i thought was funny due to the fact she used Bluffs to get for point across now oh the intent was still there...so a couple of months go by fae and jarick started to date, me and jarick became good friends...... so yeah that the story of Jarick, Fae, and me.

Ok so that you know that let start with what happened today well me and fae have keeping up with MMA training after class of course oh yeah the of us in college now Jarick's tacking Political Science with a minor in social economics, fae's taking Business management with a minor in social economics, and im tacking Criminal law, Constitutional law, ok look i forgot how much there is to this law degree im going for so lets just im going to be able to cover any law be it federal law, civil law, health law, Environmental law, military law, and Business law with a minor Psychology. Ok all that besides the point after our little training session fae and jarick out "on a date" yes thouse are air quotes how do i know that it's not a date it due the fact tomorrow Jarick is going to come up to and tell me "man i can anything from my waste down" like i need to know that..... god i need a girlfriend.... ok well on that front i might be in luck i was at this out the way coffee shop studying for an exam i have tomorrow when cute little redhead walks in i mean she was like 4'4" and I'm 5'9" but anyway she walked over to me and asked if she have a seat while she waited for coffee and of course I said yes and before I knew it we been sitting there talking to the manager tolde we hade to leave because there were closing i did findout tha she goes the college as i do so yeah we will see what happens i just hope she there tomorrow...... Oh yeah before i head to bed.. yeah class at 6AM and it 9:22 on the dot my My grandpa gave me this old old tungsten ring ring that he got from his grandpa he said it was passed down the 1st born every couple years he also said that it is supposed to be link to ong the three gods of i don't believe him it's just a small black ring with red Runic lettering on it i mean it's a family heirloom so i keep it anyway good night I'll write more tomorrow.

Reviews

[JayG]

• Ok first of all sorry there no day on was ment to be an interdiction to me and my life

So...you don't know punctuation. You didn't bother to run a spell check. You're not aware of the difference between to and too. And, didn't take the time to have someone who knew all that edit for you. But, if you care so little for helping the reader, and making thei task pleasant, why would they take the time to plow through this, tripping over the screw-ups and trying to understand what you meant? Answer: they won't.

Next: This is, from start to finish, a transcription of you talking TO an audience. But while an audience could hear the emotion you place in your voice, can the reader? No. Does the reader have even the smallest clue of how you want THEM to read it? Do they know the expressions they should wear, the gestures to make? Of course not. Nor do they have context, or access to your intent for either how it's to be read, or the meaning you wan them to take from each line.

My point? Writing fiction isn't a matter of making up a story and writing it down. And how it's written is nothing like the way we learned to write reports in school.

So..Do you want to write fiction? That's great. The world needs more crazies who can be looking at nothing for a half hour, and when asked what they're doing can honestly say, "Working." But...and there is a huge "but" attached: Fiction-Writing is a profession. And the skills of ANY profession, are acquired IN ADDITION to the school-days book-report skills we're given. There is no way around that because your reader is used to reading work that was created with those skills, and expects it, just as you do. More to the point, they expect it from you. But unless you take the time to learn them...

So...visit the library's fiction-writing section and chew through a few books on the techniques. And while you're at it, work on the basic writing skills. Not having them can be a huge drag on whatever you decide to do.

Here's the thing: The difference between a dream and a goal is a timetable. So, you need to start making up timetables. After all, it is the time of the year for making resolutions.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/