Shivered Breath

Lyrical Poem. A rather dark story with several different messages. Draw from it what you will.

Shivered Breath

ℂ 2014 SkylarValentine

“I love you, please. You can't leave me.”

She presses down but the wound still bleeds.

“You couldn't save me - why did you try?”

Around the store frozen strangers stare.

She doesn't see them, doesn't care.

He cannot answer to tell her why.

They're not waiting for

the ambulance to come.

They're too afraid to hope

the spell has been undone.

As the world rushes in,

and she begs him to speak again.

With a shivered breath it's done

- he's gone.

His heart has stopped, he sees her there,

the men who hold her by the hair,

trapped against the shopping floor.

His feet they move, a desperate stride.

The barrel turns and spears his side.

She cries his name and screams some more.

They're not waiting for

the police to come.

They're too numb for hope

the spell has been undone.

A gun left on the floor

surrounded by his blood.

One last kiss to his cold lips

- the boy she loved.

She stumbles out into the streets,

barely staying on her feet,

and sees the men strolling away.

Her chest is tight, the air won't come.

She doesn't care, all emotions gone.

Up comes the gun, she points and prays.

She's not waiting for

the verdict to come.

She doesn't need a court

their crime can't be undone.

As each shot rings through her ears,

the sirens she starts to hear.

But for who - she doesn't know

- She doesn't know...

Author's Note

Impressions. Thoughts.

Reviews

[Awakened Rose]

I love the fact that this poem was somewhat difficult to understand what was happening. It felt blurry in the sense that it felt like I was reading it from "her" eyes, which seemed to be in a haze. I see what you did there. Brilliant.

"-She doesn't know..."

This was a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing :)

[Skylar Valentine]

I'm very pleased with your comment. That's what I was hoping for :) Thank you for reading

[HLDXyQ3uGx]

I'm now being plagued by the thoughts about what really went on. I'm very, very adamant to know about what happened, but I can't seem to place it. Did he simply save her from a shot? Or did the men need a body or blood to take, and so he sacrificed himself instead? Or is there something deeper going on? And what or who can't he saved her from? Grr, I'm still very puzzled. And frustrated. I'm also curious whether the sirens finally came for her or for the men.

All in all, it's a great work - so short and yet full of mystery. I liked it.

[Skylar Valentine]

I kept it hazy intentionally. Kinda of letting the readers imagination fill in the blanks while keeping it mostly PG so to speak lol The men were attacking her, he tried to save her and got shot. The open stanza is the middle of the story so to speak if that makes sense. Thanks for the comment :)

[HLDXyQ3uGx]

Oh, I kind of read too much into it! Thanks for explaining. :) And you're welcome.

[Bowers]

great write, yet again, you my friend, have extreme talent, I love this piece. I love the story behind these deep meaningful words... great job! I was constantly intrigued!

[Skylar Valentine]

Thank you :)