Chapter 1-4

Chapter one
Skyea heard the beep sound of her handphone. Putting down the hose, she quickly reads the text message from her cousin, Noel. " Grandma just got transferred to a regular ward from ICU. Room number 306." Skyea heaved a sigh of relief. Her grandmother was admitted to hospital two days ago for weak heart. She was in the ICU and they are very strick about family members staying or visiting the patients there. In fact, Skyea and her siblings, along with other relatives were barred from going in since her grandmother is admitted into a government hospital.They had waited outside for the last two nights, keeping vigil.
Quickly, Skyea typed a reply to her cousin. " Thank God. Noted. Will visit this evening after dinner."
Tonight is the eve of the Chinese Lunar New Year. Everyone in the family are busy with cleaning, cooking a feast, changing the curtains, bedsheets and hanging up all the festive paraphernalias.
Soon, Skyea and all the relatives gathered in their ancestors home, a double storey mansion , that has been in the family for decades. A place filled with childhood memories, laughter and tears, most of all sadness for these last few years. Elderlies of the family lived here for forty years until just recently. Everyone was called to the good lord one after another. First was her younger grandaunt Laura then granduncle Nigel.
With a nostalgic smile on her face, Skyea entered the house with her parents and brother and his kids, Abby and Aiden. The tantalising aroma of food permeated the air, greeting them along with boisterous laughter and well wishes filling the living room.
"Aunt Sylvy! Do you need any help?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. Aunt Sylvy rules the kitchen in the ancestors house yearly, cooking up a storm. Preparing a feast good for over forty each time.
" Skyea. Just on time. Can you help me taste this dish...." Holding a spoon filled with her infamous beef curry to her mouth.
" Wonderful and delicious like usual." I answered with a cheeky smile. Hearing this, she nodded her head and burst into a huge grin.
" I made two extra dishes too. Roasted lamb and a salad." Skyea stated as she helps Aunt Sylvy with loading the sweet and sour fish onto a serving tray before putting it on the huge dining table in the dining room.
"Hey sis, did you get a cake for Tony?" asked Karina, a tall girl with dimples, characteristics of their family, in blue tank top and shorts.
"Yes, I did." Skyea frowned at her sister as she snatched a few pieces of deep fried prawn from her plate as she walked past her to the dining room. "Hey, stop doing that. There will soon be none left if you guys don't stop hijacking the food" warned Skyea while giving her other cousins stern looks too.They just wink at her and left grinning from ear to ear. Skyea just sigh, they are just an incorrigible bunch.
"Alright everybody, dinner time. Tanya, why don't you say grace before we partake in the food" said aunt Sylvy while looking at a short, cubby girl in her early twenties, dressed in a pink dress.
" Sure aunty Sylvy " replied Tanya." Today we are gathered here to celebrate the ending of an old year and to welcome a new one. So lord, please bless the food before us......" Continued Tanya as the house phone started to ring.
" Excuse me" whispered Skyea as she quitely makes her way to the living room to answer the phone." Hello? "
" Skyea?"
"Noel! We are just starting to eat. We will come and relieve you at the hospital in may be , max, an hour."
"Skyea, is my mum there?" Asked Noel in a somber tone.
"Aunt Sylvy? Yes. She is in the dining room now with everyone. What's the matter?"asked Skyea with a sense of foreboding."It's grandma isn't it?" Her hand gripped the phone handle so hard, you can almost hear her knuckles cracking.
" Her heart just gave out....the doctors are in there performing emergency procedures to help her....." Skyea can hear her sniffling over the phone.
"What....and....."
" Prognosis is not good. Be prepared for the worst. Can you let everyone knows and come as soon as possible with mum." With that said, Noel hung up.
In a daze, Skyea headed towards the dining room.
"What took you so long? Who is that on the line?" Asked Renee, Noel's sister.
" Skyea?" Concerned, aunt Sylvy approached Skyea, her lips trembling." Was it grandma? "
Before Skyea could answer, aunt Sylvy instantly moved into action."No! No,no,no ....I am going to the hospital now!"
" I will drive aunt Sylvy. Dad? Mum? Are you coming?" Asked Karina as she took out her car keys .
"Yes" her father answered.
" Just go dad. I will take care of things here and the kids too. Don't worry" Skyea assured her father.
" Aunty Skyea, where is daddy?" Asked Aiden filled curiosity.
"Eh.....I don't know " Skyea replied, feeling hopeless and worried. Her brother has been acting strange the whole day on top of what is happening to grandma.
"Aren't we gonna blow the candles today aunt Skyea?" Two pairs of expectant eyes stared at Skyea.
" I am afraid not. Daddy is not here and everyone needs to see great-grandnana."
" I miss her" said Abby in a sad tone." Is great-grandnana going to heaven?" Asked Abby with the frankness of a child.
" I don't know dear. I really don't" whispered Skyea to herself. Deep down, she knows it is time as her eyes misted over with tears.

Chapter 2

" ....yes, I am sorry for the last minute cancellation. Thank you for your kind understanding. Goodbye." Skyea returned the phone to its base.
" Done making calls?" asked Noel as she sat down on the sofa, looking haggard .
"Yeah. That is the last one" answered Skyea. "How is aunt Sylvy faring?"
" Just managed to force her into taking a break."
Skyea nodded her head." That is good to hear. Now we need only to decide on a date to hold the funeral.We will need to finalised the purchase of grandma's coffin and booked the hall for the funeral service." Skyea said.
The passing of our grandmother during the eve of the Lunar New Year is very unfortunate and limited our choices since many businesses closed for almost a week, this includes the florist, newspaper printing companies and others.
Today is supposed to be a day filled with laughter, food binging, mah Jong sessions and endless parade of well wishers to aunt Sylvy's yearly open house. Instead, this year only deafening silence and somber atmosphere greeted close families and friends.
Karina and Renee walked into the family room and sat down." Sis, I have contacted the regular guests about the cancellation but just told them it's due to family emergency ."
" That is good enough for now. I will hate to spoilt others' new year celebration with such news"replied Skyea while massaging her temple.
" Some might find it a taboo subject to start an auspicious new year. "
" You are right Renee. All done with the arrangements at the funeral parlor?" asked Noel to her sister.
" Yes. They will keep grandma's body refrigerated in one of the hall. Family members can go and pay respect but it will not be opened to outsiders until after tomorrow."
The parlor is actually closed for the holidays but can still provide storage services. Which is a true blessing. Otherwise, we will have to leave grandma at the hospital morgue.
" By the way, have any of you seen my brother?" Skyea asked . He has been acting peculiar since yesterday.
" Not since early this morning." The rest shook their heads too.
Knowing her brother, something must be bothering him. He has been too quiet. " I'LL go and look for him." With that said, Skyea left and started searching around the house. She was about to give up when she happened to hear something from the mah Jong room. Slowly she approached it and push the door open. She is alarmed to find her brother crying. He had always been close to grandma and having her die on his birthday too. Well, that is a real bummer.
" Hey....." Skyea walked up to him and sat next to him.
Quickly wiping away his tears." Arrangements all done?" he asked.
" What's wrong? No need to be sad. I am sure grandma is now at a better place with grandpa. We should be happy for her. Besides, how many can boast to live till they are 90?"
" I know...." he sighed. Sniffling.
After a short silence," You want to tell me what's the real problem giving you this much grief?"
" Nothing. Everything is just fine...."
" Come on.....I am your all knowing sister. In can tell something smells fishy ever since you were small. " Putting her arms around him." Let it out. Two brain is always better than one." Skyea waited patiently as she watched the conflicting emotions playing across Tony's face.
After like ages he finally caved in." Sis, I am the most stupid guy in the world. I feel like a dummy...." Silence again.
Okay.This sounds serious and she is not going to like it, thought Skyea to herself.
" That is so out of character. What makes you think that?"
Without answering, Tony took out his phone and started flipping through it before passing it over to Skyea. She glanced at the screen and took her awhile before its significance registered in her mind . There are pictures of two naked women taken on a bed. The most shocking part is that one of them is Julie, my brother's wife.
" I am such an idiot. I worked my a*s off trying to give her and the kids a good life" he snorted and smiled a self mocking grin as his eyes filled with anguished. " Remember last year when she said she is going back to her hometown to celebrate her father's birthday before going to Thailand with her sisters?"
I nodded my head." I remember because after she left, the kids and you all stayed at my place for almost two weeks."
" Guess what....She never went to her father's place. She lied. That f*****g b***h lied." He covered his face with his hands as he sobs." She went on vacation with her lover in Phuket for two f*****g weeks."
" I remember the kids were having fever too at the time. Are you sure?" Skyea asked. She dare not make any rash judgements. There are the kids' well being to be considered. What a mess.....
" Yes. I am positive. I confronted her yesterday. " His face filled with anger. " Do you know what the f*****g w***e said?" skyea shook her head. " Instead of making excuses and apologizing, she started screaming and accusing me of infringing her privacy."
" How did you get your hands on those pictures anyway?"
" By accident. I was looking for something in the wardrobe. It was hidden inside. The funniest thing is that I almost missed it had she not keep yelling downstairs for me to hurry" Tony gave Skyea a derisive smile." Ironic, isn't it."
" Let me ask you one thing? Do you still want to save this marriage? It is hard enough to forgive and forget a normal case of adultery, let alone accepting she is a lesbian."
" I don't know. For the kids, I guess I should give it a chance. But, sis....it hurts. It hurts so much, I can't even breath." Tony said this while thumping his heart.
" No matter what you decided, I...no...all of us in the family will respect and support you. Just promise me to not let the kids be your excuse to stay. I can tell you it is going to be an arduous road should you stay. There will always be suspicion, distrust and bitterness. If you are unhappy, the kids can sense it and they will be hurt being hemmed in between both parents." Skyea patted his hands and left quietly.

Chapter 3

After closing the door, Skyea walked quickly to the kitchen. Not even stopping when Karina called out to her. She grabbed a can of beer off the fridge and took a big gulped down, almost choking.
" Hold your horses sis. Where is the fire and take it easy with the beer. You do remember you are allergic to alcohol?" teased Karina.
" Don't mind me. I needed cooling off before I am rendered to blue murder. There is someone's neck I would like to snap, body I want to skinned alive, minced the meat and feed it to the crocodiles."
" Whoa...that is so unlike your to be violent and losing your composure." Karina looked at her sister with an incredulous expression. Skyea is the most level headed among the cousins. She is usually unfazed by emergencies. For something or someone to rile her up so bad....must be serious.
" Don't ask. Are the cousins still in the living room?"
Before she can reply, Skyea is out the door. She is like someone with a mission. Marching into the room and sat down on one of the sofa with Karina following closely.
" Spill it! I know something is stewing in your pot" urged Karina.
Skyea debated whether to disclose the matter or not, dilemma. Will telling them makes a difference or make it worse. Various scenarios flashes through her mind. Biting her lips,well here goes nothing.
" It's Tony. It appears he caught his wife, Julie, having an extra-marital affair."
Renee just raised her eye brows, not fully surprised. " I kinda suspected her for sometime. Caught her locking herself in my room upstairs a few times for long period of times."
" The s**t! Tell Tony to toss her out of the house out on the street. I should slap her and yank her hair out." Karina started pacing the floor, her eyes spitting fire. " Those multiple weekend trips in the pretext of attending training sessions, foisting the kids off with Skyea and mum."
"Calm down Karina," said another cousin, Lisa.
" Calm down?!..."she practically hissed out.
" Shush.....Tony will hear you Karina" adviced Skyea.
" You should know how delicate, sensitive and prideful your brother is..." continued Renee. " He might really go bananas if he found out we all know," warned Renee.
" Training my a*s. Remember what the b***h said about having lots of training the next few months. I was wondering why do the bank keeps on scheduling all trainings on weekends," Karina mumbles.
" Let's cut to the chase. What are Tony planning to do?" Asked Lisa.
" Beats me" Skyea shrugged. " If it is one of us girls, we would have turn around and shoved him or her six feet under" answer Skyea." But Tony......he is too tender hearted....."

Chapter 4

Tim quietly closed the door to his bedroom making sure the kids are sleeping soundly. With a heavy heart he made his way downstairs, where his wife is sitting on the sofa playing with her phone. He can't stop the niggling suspicion in his mind telling him, it might be her lover.
"We need to talk." He mustered out, as rage and pain ravages through his heart.
" Is there any need? " Julie muttered unconcerned.
" Do I take it you want to end this farce of marriage? "
" I do not see any problem. We should all forget it and life goes on like before" she said with a shrugged.
"No big deal? Do you even realised what you did is an insult and betrayal to me, no, our marriage and also to our kids." He tries very hard to keep his temper in check , not to wake the kids.
" Let's be honest and fair. Will you still insist it is no big deal if our position is reversed. " Clenching his fists.
" Look here, it was just once. I had post pregnancy depression after Ryan's birth and emotionally unstable." She claimed.
" If that is the case, you should let me know and we can seek professional help. It does not justify you cheating." He felt even more hurt. Is he so low in her estimation and trust, that she would rather seek solace elsewhere instead of her spouse.
" So, what now? " Tony asked in a resigned voice. His eyes stung with unshed tears.
" I don't know"
" Divorce?"
" No!"
" Start over?!" Tony is starting to lose patience with her.
" I don't know?"
" What the heck. Is that all you can say. I don't know? How are we to progress forward with your attitude."
" Fine.... Let's try if that's what you want." She raised a hand to halt what he wanted to say. " I have some stipulation which you need to do for this to be feasible" A calculative smile appeared, which she quickly hides.
"Spill it..."
" You have to show your sincerity by deleting all pictures and letters about me and the other person."
Tony's heart and mind debated with each other. Part of him wants to hold onto her while the other part distrusted her. Isn't it strange with the order of things. He is the victim not her. Won't it make more sense that he should be the one laying down the rules and not the guilty party.
" Well?"
" You promise you will end it with her, if I do?" He looked at her trying to decipher her emotions.
" Sure. I promise."
" Alright."
That night, Tony deleted the upsetting pictures and copies of her love letters to her lover in good faith and texted his sisters to inform them his decision and asked them to destroy the incriminating pictures too. He keeps on telling himself he did the right thing. But it hurts like hell.
At that moment in Skyea's house. She was being haunted by her mother incessantly.
" Mum, will you cut it out? They are adults and it's their life. How would I know what's going on."
" Before with your grandmother's passing, I don't have the wherewithal to ask. But mother's intuition is something powerful. They must have fought with each other. He hasn't been himself lately."
Skyea knew not much escaped her mother's eagle eyes and bound to be suspicious." Do you seriously think I have nothing better to do and stick my nose into other people's business?"
" I am not senile. The 'tai chi' approach of deflecting my questions is not going to stop me. "

"Oh....What is that smell? Something smells burnt. Are you cooking something in the kitchen mum?"
"Goodness, my red bean soup." She quickly head for the kitchen and Skyea took that opportunity to escape from her mother's interrogation.
By unanimous vote, they have decided to keep this from their parents. Although they are more open minded about a lot of things, they don't think accepting homosexuality is not a social issue they can readily accept for their semi- conservative way of thinking. Furthermore, Skyea's parents are suffering from hypertension too.
That evening, Skyea saw her brother's message and frowned. She knows that, if things can work out well, of course she can try to accept his decision. Call it a hunch or six sense, Skyea remains sceptical about her sister-in-law turning over a new leaf. No matter what, it never hurt to over prepare than under prepare. Skyea decided to keep all incriminating evidence of her sister-in-law's adultery. Just in case she is up to no good. If all works out, then she will destroy it one day.

Reviews

[angel]

Informative, and it's a good tactic to open with dialogue; it does draw a reader in. You really do pretty well with your dialogue, too, but there is a problem...I don't know these characters, as they are not described. Nor is the setting; I don't know what they look like, or what the room they are in is like.Let me show you something.
I'm going to a little magic on your opening paragraph to show you what I mean:
Chapter four:
Tim shook his head as he quietly closed the door to his bedroom. He had checked on the children already, and knew they were sleeping soundly. With a heavy heart, he made his way downstairs, where his wife was sitting on the sofa, playing with her phone, as she had been doing so much lately.
He couldn't help the niggling suspicion in his mind; it might be her lover.
The rage and pain he had experienced so often lately rushed through him, settling in his heart.
He gripped the railing and regarded the woman he had married; where had the love gone?
The room she was sitting in was familiar to him; the worn carpet, the old TV, the sofa they had bought together during happier times. He watched her for a moment, trying to remember the last time they had sat there together, his arm around her, her hand in his. She still looked the same; a stray lock of her short black hair fell over one brown eye, and she impatiently pushed it back. One red-painted fingernail tapped at the screen relentlessly.
Finally, he spoke.
"We need to talk." He said, the words almost catching in his throat.
Julie looked up briefly, her pretty face bland. Seeming unconcerned, she returned to her texting.
" Is there any need? " She muttered.
Tim took a deep breath and sat opposite her in the worn armchair. He hesitated, not really wanting to have this much- needed conversation. He finally spat out the words he had been holding back.
"Do I take it you want to end this farce of a marriage? "
There. it was out. He almost regretted having said it; he was a bit frightened of what her response might be.
She shrugged.
" I do not see any problem," she finally said, glancing up from the phone for a second. Her gaze dropped to the screen again, and she added in an unconcerned voice, " We should just forget it and life goes on like before. It's no big deal."
"No big deal? Don't you even realise that what you did is an insult and betrayal to me-- not to mention our marriage and also to our kids."
He tried very hard to keep his temper in check. He did not want to wake the kids.
" Let's be honest and fair," he said," Would you still insist it is no big deal if our position was reversed?"
He clenched his fists; his anger was rising, threatening to spill over.
" Look here," said Julie with a sigh,"It was just once. I had post pregnancy depression after Ryan's birth. I was emotionally unstable." She went back to her texting.
" If that is the case, you should have let me know! We can seek professional help." He felt tears sting his eyes, and he blinked them back. "It does not justify you cheating," he added quietly. He felt even more hurt now, wondering whether he was so low in her estimation and trust, that she would rather seek solace elsewhere instead of in her spouse.
" So, what now? " he asked in a resigned voice. The tears threatened to spill over again.
She did not look up.
"I don't know," she said. She still sounded quite unconcerned.

Do you see what you can do with some description? I am just making a suggestion.
It really would improve your piece, though, and make it more entertaining to read. A question. Is the main character named Tim, or Tony? I ask because both names were used.
If you flesh this out with some descriptions of the scene and the speakers, this would be a much more compelling piece.

[JayG]

Just a quick comment:

You, as the narrator, are explaining the story to a reader, as-if-they-can-hear-you. But they can't. Nor can they see your performance. But you can, as you read. So for you the story is full of emotion and life. For the reader it's the emotionless flow of the narrator's explanation. Informative? Yes. But do you read fiction to learn the flow of events in synopsis? Or are you hoping to be entertained by being made to feel as if you're on the scene, as the protagonist, and living the events?

Problem is, we can't place the reader there with the nonfiction writing skills we're given in our school days. They're great for explaining things. And employers need us to have those skills, but they're useless for entertaining.

And that's my point. If writing fiction that will entertain the reader is your goal, take a bit of time to learn the tricks-of-the-trade. It makes the job a LOT easier. More fun, too.

My personal suggestion is to find a copy of Debra Dixon's, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict. Then read it slowly, with lots of time spent practicing each point as it's introduced, so you make it yours.

This sin't what you were hoping for, I know, but given that you worked so hard on this, I thought you might want to know.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/the-grumpy-writing-coach-8/

[Stone]

Thank you for the comment. I will take your advice to heart and work at improving it. Tq