chapter one

  It all started as a normal day or at least I thought it was a normal day. The bus was filled with laughter and people talking. Everyone was happy since it was Friday.

 

“Hey Skye!” shouted Devin while he entered the bus.

“Hey” I responded.

“So…what’s up?” said Devin.

“Nothing just another long weekend. Don’t you think?” I said.

“Well we do have a trip after school today with Mr. Ben. Remember” said Devin.

“Right” I said.

 

        The bus driver stopped driving for a moment and didn’t move for a while. We were there for like an hour. I got tired of waiting so I stood up and went up to the bus driver and asked what was going on.

 

 

     “The engine shut off by itself it won’t turn beck on and I guess will have to walk back to the school but were very far away.” Said the bus driver.

“How long would it take us to get there?” I asked.

“Well Skye, it would take a couple of hours” said the bus driver

“Well thanks” I said.

   

       I walked away and back to my sit. Everyone was staring at me. They all wanted to know what happened but I didn’t feel like talking.

 

“What happened?” asked Devin.

“Yeah what happened?” said the kid behind us.

“The engine stopped running will have to walk to school and it will take a couple of ours.” I responded.

 

“A couple of hours!!!” said the kid behind us.

“Seriously?” asked Devin.

“Yeah” I responded.

 

      The bus driver told us to start getting off the bus and getting our stuff to start walking to the school.  It was creepy we were walking in the woods trying to cut through so it won’t take as long to get to the school.

Several hours past. It was already twelve o’clock and it was like ninety degrees outside.

“Que calor (So hot)” I said.

“Well what do you expect is ninety-four degrees outside” said Devin.

“Nerd” I said.

“How” asked Devin.

“Who watches the weather channel” I said teasing.

“Ha ha ha I’m not a nerd. You can pass better as a nerd than I can” said Devin.

“Thank you. A nerd invented facebook so is a good thing.

“Whateves” said Devin.

By this time we were even deeper in the woods. It was getting dark and foggy; the trees were taller and scarier. Ravens came out of no where which was weird because you couldn’t hear or see any birds close by especially ravens. There was a cottage close by but it was about to break down, it had no door; instead of being made out of wood it was metal and it was rusty and the roof had wholes. Of course we walked up to it and started looking around if there was anyone there. But it was empty and it smelled like crap and it had no floor it was all dirt.

“Well what are we goanna do it’s seven o’clock” said Devin.

“What it’s already seven!” I said.

“Yeah I guess were staying here or something” said Devin.

“Yeah right I don’t want animals or insects attacking me. We’re in the middle of no where and I’m freaking out!” I said.

“Shiss calm down there is nothing to be mad of” said Devin trying to calm me down but obviously it didn’t work.

“Nothing to be mad of?!? There is plenty to be mad of I haven’t ate all day their isn’t a single person around except the people in the bus and you know what I don’t get along with any of them except three of you guys!” I said.  

My face was turning red my heart beat was rising and I felt like punching someone right now. I thought of course we we’re all goanna die here or someone is goanna call us missing and cops were goanna be everywhere.

“Wow! Okay. I have a soda and five candy bars what do you want?” whispered Devin.

“Why you whispering?” I asked.

“Well this is the only food I have and I don’t want to share it unless you want to starve.” Said Devin.

“Okay then I’ll have one of the candy bars” I said in a whisper which I think Devin was even struggling to hear.

Devin figured out what I said and handed me a king size Twix bar.

The bus driver said it was getting late and we couldn’t wonder around since we didn’t know where we are. It was getting cold and thank god I had a jacket in my back pack I quickly put it on and placed my back pack on the floor as a pillow.

After a few minutes of silence everyone started wining about having to use the bathroom and being hungry. So, the bus driver got annoyed and said we could go out for hunting.

When we went back to the cottage only eight of us were there and the bus driver was not in sight. We took our phones as flash lights because they only worked for that since there was no signal. We got some branches and started a camp fire. Then Ravens started flying around again and the walls started to turn black and it looked like tree roots were coming out of the wall then you could hear creaking noises and the Ravens.

Some girls started screaming very loud. And the wall started to change behind them and then dirty, green, ugly hands came out of the wall and pulled them inside the wall of course we tried to stop it but it was to strong and they got pulled in. now their wasn’t eight of us anymore there was five and I hope it stayed that way.

“Yo, what the heck just happened there!”said Legarious. He was a dark skin guy with brown shaved hair.

“You saw that! That thing took my little sister” said a blond girl with curly hair.

“Who are you? And yes I saw it just like everyone else.” I said.

“I’m Mellissa” said the blond girl with curly hair.

“Well we got to get out of here and once does birds appear try not to make any noise what so ever. Okay?” I said.

“Okay” said Mellissa and Legarious.

We all ran out of the cottage and ran out the woods into the road. But where no one could see us.

We saw a neighborhood up ahead. But of course it wasn’t a neighborhood full of normal little houses. The houses looked like mansions but they were black and had drops of red by the doors. The cars looked brand new and almost every house or mansion had mustangs and more cars that I haven’t even seen in commercials yet. This town is weird and I’m going to find out what’s going on before we all die because of this curse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is only the beggining, I'm not quite done with the chapter but i want to know what you think so far.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I like the set-up with the broken bus. I like the description and detail of your story. You create a interesting situation with many options to go with the story. A very strong first chapter.
Coyote

[*skittlez*]

very very interesting keep writng i want to read more

[Marie Harrison]

Very interesting. Keep going.

[Sunny Skye]

k first chapter

[Twilight]

So far, I quite enjoyed reading this. For a single chapter, this would probably be too long? There is also at least one spelling mistake (although a minor one) - "beck" instead of "back". Whilst reading, the tension and frustration of the characters seemed quite convincing. Furthermore, their level of conversation did seem fairly credible for school children. Turning to the location, I would like a lot more detail about what the cottage looks like (for example)? Overall, the narrative develops at a good pace. At the end, I did feel as if I wanted to keep reading. So, please continue with this story!