I saw light

You shot me and i bled

I saw the wound yet i felt no pain

I stood there and fought back

I stood there with my bare hands

While you had a weapon of hate and anger

 

I fought with love and faith

With love and faith I will survive

 

It started to rain and it got dark

I still saw the light

But you went blind

I defended myself

While you fell to the ground

I didn't kill you because no one deserves to die

 

 

Author's Note

Enjoy

Reviews

[Persona]

Fewer 'I's would make this better. Don't repeat stood there. I like some of the metaphors - weapons of hate and anger, and the story itself. Don't repeat 'love and faith' on the second verse. I think "it started to rain and it got dark" is a bit too factual - try some figurative language. Like 'our battle raged on. The clouds weeped for us to stop. Darkness covered us, like a blanket. The sun broke out, where I saw the light, yet you were blinded' maybe make the poem flow a little more in that respect. Just because you break up the lines doesn't mean it has to be stilted.

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you for the review

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I like the positive ending to the struggle. Hope and kindness should win over hate and violence. We hope? Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you for reading & commenting

[_]

Nice poem :) And YEAH! Good message at the end.

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you

[Sethnicity]

This makes me Smile...

[Sunny Skye]

I'm glad it does, i wonder why do

[Sethnicity]

because you realize that your weapons of warfare are built to give life not take it away.

[Sunny Skye]

I just wanted to know, everyone thinks in diffrent ways so i wanted to know why

[Sethnicity]

well I'm very into the theme of the poem but sketcha made some very strong and valid points... this is just the first poem I've read of yours so I am not sure of your habits... Have a great day!

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you, have a great day as well

[Poetic Beauty]

Amazing journey and the last stanza is not what most people would do. It is a great piece filled with emotions and it can be related to many different scenarios other than the obvious

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it

[Cerise]

Aww..its a poignant and a thought provoking poem...gudness..its very strong...it expresses strong and deep emotions of pain..hate..love..faith...a wonderful mix...:)

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you

[Amanda J. S.]

Really strong poem! I really enjoyed it.

Thank you so much for this wonderful experience ^^

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.

[Amanda J. S.]

^^

[J. Viands]

Another strong piece short and to the point with a firm message as always good job

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you