Drive by

I hear loud booms

And people crying and screaming

A drive by

Was what happened

As I look out the window

The night is dark

But I see the black van

Approaching

As I spin they take

Out their guns

I hear them shooting

But I turned as

Soon as I take cover

I see my

Shoulder and my side

Bleeding I sit on the floor

And wait for the cops

To come in

I feel no pain

And I knew I was

Going to be okay

When I heard the ambulance

My eyes drifted away

And so did my mind.

Author's Note

Enjoy!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Senseless killing is terrible. Here in Detroit. 300 murders in the city during the Summer. Young people dying before learning to live. A powerful tale in the poem. The sad part the story is real life in many cities. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Sunny Skye]

That is terrible.

[J. Viands]

Another strong piece (your good) it displayed the reality of the matter how it’s more like a terrorist attack then anything like the media makes it out to be it captured the swift disarray and panic it causes I assume you have experienced it firsthand I’m sorry I hope it wasn’t you who got hit

[Sunny Skye]

Well thank you, i appreciate the comment and thankfully no I was not the one that got hit a very dear friend of mine did but he survived thank god

[James William Dyer]

I liked the last two lines a lot, they implied a drifting escape from this nightmare situation. And I like how you isolated particular words on lines of their own. With such a devastating setting, though, my thought would be to scatter the words around the page rather than give them a concise ordewred appearance down the page, unless you are trying to depict a calm mental attitude amidst all the catastrophic goings-on.

[Sunny Skye]

Well thank you for the review and yes i was trying to make it seem calm and not someone panicing but i did think of not placing it so neatly but i also changed my mind. :P

[Amanda]

Nice job :)

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you

[Sirius King]

My eyes drifted away

And so did my mind.

great poem

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you

[Steven Cash]

very very nice

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you glad you enjoyed it

[Ees]

Wow, crazy stuff. We live in this world. I drive through this world. This stuff happens. Really important poem. Well done! At first "drive thru" confused me because around here that is what you do to pick up a burger or a cup of coffee and 'drive by" is what it is called when people shoot out of their cars, but it was easy to understand as I read!
Sad truths make good poetry.

[Sunny Skye]

Yes i've noticed i've made the mistake of drive by and drive thru people were talking and got me confused i will fix that do thank you for reminding me.

[Ees]

It didn't really bother me as I read though, it just confused me at first.

[Sunny Skye]

But i appreciate it that you pointed that out because who knows other people might be like ha this idiot don't know that is drive by not drive thru lol but thanks

[Ees]

Haha, coool. Like I said, I try to point out whatever it is that I notice. Awesome poem!

[Sunny Skye]

Glad you did and thank you. Glad you enjoyed it

[Ahmad Cox]

Intense and surreal. I could feel every line.

[Sunny Skye]

Thank you for the comment