A Grim's Love Story

A story of chilled love.

Sitting on the edge of a building

She stares down into the unknown

It's chilling

Right down to her charred bone.

She seeks acceptance and rights

Though the darkness swirls this way and that

She thinks she can always find the light

But what happens

When she has blinded sight?

So up above this girl sits

Out of reach

From the stereotypical slits

Up above the whitest beach

Along the drunken black river

Her heart roams and quivers.

Miles away

A lonely soul sways

Under the pale moon

Thinking about the one who makes him swoon.

She sits high up in the air

Being beautiful and nice

Making his heart jump and flare

Especially when she sings to the scary sprites.

He loves her so

But up on the building she's perched

She doesn't know

But soon she will stop her search.

For love she gazes

Down yonder she seeks

One morning he'll come

So no more will she weep.

Author's Note

What's some feedback you all can give? Do y'all think that this poem is ready to be taken to a real publisher?

Reviews

[unsavable_soul]

Honestly I can't say,
I have never had anything published and am not trying. I think this a a good piece with good ideas and some beautiful descriptions. However I think this piece is very good. In all honesty of my opinion I don't think it's ready to be published. You have some good rhymes schemes and beautiful mental imagery. You're quite the writer I would definitely say, you've got something here and I think you are definitely heading in the right direction. I greatly enjoyed the movement within this piece from darkness and solitude into hope and strength. this is very nice and I think it is worth pursuing publishing. I say just give it some time and rereads before you decide and go about it. But I do love this regardless if it would get published.
Sincerely
Christopher
100/100

[SkaiWeeks]

Thank you very, very much!! :)

[Graveyardfuck]

I really enjoyed this poem. It's sad, yet beautiful. Great write.

[SkaiWeeks]

Thank you very much!! (: