birthday

another birthday

and as usual

he awoke

thinking

about the

three dead mice

and how the poor things

must have

fallen into the can 

and starved to death

 

one 

had probably survived

a bit longer 

for it found

salvation

in the tissues

of the others

and when

he cradled it

in his hand

the creature

broke apart like

a puffball and

the brown spores

living smoke

filled his nostril

and went about 

their important 

business

 

Reviews

[bookworm]

You're poetry should come with a frigging warning sign....something like, "No skin, no s**t, no service". You are such an endless chamber of curiosities, mister....I end up feeling a bit like a concerned mum after I read your "unique" contributions.....as in, "Oh geez...honey, are you sure everything's okay? You know how I worry." :) However, as I've mentioned before, somehow you convey these ideas in fascinating, albeit disturbing, meaty prose. Pretty effing cool...Happy birthday if it is indeed your's. If not, let them eat cake...with worm guts and rat urine in it.....:)

[J]

you definitely have "way" frank. it's not a 'way' that goes down easy mostly as your affinity for showcasing the repulsive and indelicate of this life tends to curl my upper lip. but somewhere there mostly seems to be a kernel of creative thought involved in your musings that offer a modicum of redemption. i like bookworm's comments -- she got it right on.

so happy birthday to you. and may you find used and crusty tissues in the most surprising places. ;)

[Philip Smith]

Hauntingly simple and to the point, and made a point. We're both from Quebec so I had to like it. lol Very Good

[Muse]

yes this is a favorite...3rd time commenting....childhood flashbacks. lol

[Kenneth The Poet]

There is a greater depth to this, something about the circle of life I think. Considering that we live in a dog-eat-dog world, this is an awesome tribute to that world.

[kmartell]

angst and all, the mice poor critters.

every thousand years aliens in space craft restart the human genetic code like opening a majic experimental door, we are the mice running around in that maze... let me tell you mister...or something like that.

you must teach high school right?

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

there's a lesson in every pressure on the psyche you so intricately create through spoken word nuances bled until the wound is clean~ three blind mice~quartered thrice~

[Phibby Venable]

excellent ending! and the exactness of all before it is amazing and perfectly detailed.

[Ms. Gruye]

something about your shortened line structure makes me feel like a more accomplished reader. It aids in the flow of your work, which presents these larger abstract concepts. In short, reading your pieces is like some one correctly explaining string theory using the same six words Suess used to write Cat in the hat.

Very much appreciate what your doing, keep on keepin on

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Delightful, and a tad twisted. Love it!

[zig]

heh

happy birthday!

it really is your birthday, right? anyway,

i like it when individuals are not afraid to be individuals, it means things are still right with the world. and i like it when two powerful forces collide, like science and art, explode, and recreate the universe. i also like it when i can open a can and find a poem. very well written, enjoyed very much.

zig