N*****s

The baby crawled into

the plastic storage box

The lid closed.

It felt cozy there 

as he pressed

against the clear sides.

His mother did not hear

nor see him give a laugh

and a wave. She did not see him 

fidgeting 

and 

getting restless.

The baby marvelled at 

how the sides were so smooth

Even as he wondered in his

baby brain why his lungs 

did not fill. But no matter.

Every experience is new and unusual.

Why should this one 

be less different?

The baby shook 

and trembled 

and gasped. But without fear or anguish.

His sight began to dim 

and his mind

began to numb.

He thought about sleep

and n*****s gone

dry

The baby was me

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what a haunting effigy in darkness~ the innocence gone to air without air~ social nuances threaded through the first person response~ and gad that last stanza is a literary bullet hitting its mark in the mind of the reader~ shatterways~ your ability to create both a haunting scene and flesh it with reactive emotional nuances is damn strong~ chilling human uncoiling tale~

[. serah .]

-- ohhhhh... -- this is excruciating... brilliantly narrated... -- from where i'm looking, this image tells me that when we don't know the world we're in, it seems new and fascinating... and if that world decides to suffocate us, we don't even realize what happened... -- our parents can't possibly protect us all the time... -- they're babies too... dealing with the world that they find themselves in... -- this piece moved me to tears, Maestro D. ... i'm relieved i haven't turned to stone... and i'm also reminded of how important it is to be sceptical... -- oddly, i feel empowered... i won't be in a stupor when i find my way back into the real world... -- maybe i'll do a better job of protecting myself... p.s. it feels like you were in tears when you wrote this piece...

[Frieda P]

The thought made me gasp and go limp...extremely affecting write.

[Jasmine]

I don't know what to think of this.... I enjoyed reading, and I sense it's really rather good, but I can't say what it means. I'll have to come back to it...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

How does one fear what one does not understand? This is why they say ignorance is bliss.

[kmartell]

entropy, death wishing and all the rest. rest assured the parents were not very pleased

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Frickin' Wow! Not sure how to review, other than to say, simply stunning.

[roarke]

yikes.

[Samuel Dickens]

Really? I locked myself in an ice box when I was about two, and it turned out to not be nearly as much fun as I'd thought.

[Crowley]

oooooooo....damn that was a stab in the heart with a rusty butter knife. Graphic as they come but still laced with some truth that makes it palpable and necessary. Whew.....

[Muse]

I keep coming back to you. I want to read more and more, it's all sick yet tasteful. A child at that age looks at the mother as a GOD, they will not question anything at that young vulnerable age...just accept it as it is...whether it be bad or good.
You mess with my motherly instinct to want to hate this, but I know you are just building upon human emotions with the metaphor of a child being snuffed out of this life....and the ending....perposterous!