Messy Love

I’m sad most of the time and I cry too much and my chest is probably black by now

but if I could crack my bones in half and pour out any bit of happiness I had left,

I’d put it into a syringe and inject it straight to your heart.

I hope you smile the second it mixes with your blood.

You called me in the middle of the night and you were crying and slurring your words and you told me you were broken.

I want to fill every crack in your body with all the love I have for you

but I think I would drown you in it.

The other night you pulled up my sleeve

and I swear I saw the sadness radiating from my scars burning your eyes.

I’m so sorry.

I promise I’ll erase them, even if it means tearing the skin off my bones.

I hope you stop crying yourself to sleep.

I know you like art.

I’ll paint the walls of my apartment so that you’ll shake less when you stay over.

My landlord will get pissed and he might kick me out, but it’s okay,

I want to live inside you anyway.

When that one song that always makes you happy gets boring,

I’ll write you a new one.

I’ll let you play it as loud as you want,

even if it keeps me up at night.

I hope it gets stuck in your head and stops your bones from aching.

If you want me, I’m yours, all of me, every part of me.

Or just the parts you want,

I know you don’t like the way I bite my nails or steal your cigarettes.

If you don’t want me, I’ll leave,

I hope the next girl who loves you plants flowers inside of you.

My mother told me that love is messy.

I know how you hate messes.

I promise I’ll keep your heart clean,

even when I want to rip it out of your chest and and dump all the pieces out onto my bedroom floor

so i can put them back together the right way.

Sydney.Elizabeth.Emerson