Shy

breaking out of your shell

Shy

 

I stand before you, armor intact,

waiting for you to see

what’s behind the wall.

The unguarded, vulnerable me

 

Will you be dissuaded?

Will I turn you away?

Can you be persuaded,

take an interest, and stay?

 

On the inside I’m yelling

notice me, choose me!

My eyes lock on yours

and a small smile breaks free

Author's Note

All suggestions and comments welcome

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

I like this kind of poetry. I love the structure. It reads very well. As an introvert, I was able to relate very well to the struggles of wanting to be seen. I don't know, though, at the end, was it hinting at possibly a love connection, a friendship, or just being noticed? It's very well written, but if I had to be a critic, I felt like the fourth line of the first stanza was not necessary. Perhaps replacing it with something more necessary. Thanks for sharing!

Rating: 9.5/10.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Stephen! I appreciate your kind words and feedback. I'd say it's hinting at a possible love connection. I will definitely think about that fourth line!

[JessyJacob]

I know time flies by when we are having kids, we doesnt know whether we are becoming old, but definitely getting older is the name given, with struggle of him and him two kids, getting older is true. You have a adorable lovely beautiful kid that is making your day still busy and matured for you cant be a older too soon one more may be a good thing to have, i was called so aunt, then and now even they are in my then time.

[AYVID N]

I love the openness and sincerity of your words. The poet is accepting of her armor yet is keen to make an impression. She is concerned about how she makes the other person feel. If I were the other person, I would definitely smile back and say hello and in all likelihood want to get to know her. This poem ended with a small smile and now after reading it, I am wearing one too.

[Relic]

This is great! Just the right length, great rhymes, and the message is clear at the end. Well done, Sharon. :)

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is such a sweet poem! Breaking out of your shell.. Wanting someone to notice you for what you really are.. Don't we all need that?
I loved the ending to this! Beautiful for sure ☺👍

[jb]

Very nice poem....lots of creative thinking :)

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Jessica!

[jb]

Your welcome

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

The perfect description of anticipation an introvert (like myself!) has experienced. Nice write, Sharon!
And...School's out for the summer. Yay!

[Sharon Kim]

Thanks Sharon! And yes, out for the summer! Hope you are enjoying yours so far!

[April Child]

Sweet piece. You describe well the a frustrating and painful feeling being trapped inside oneself at times. I'm a shy girl too, I know it well :)

[Sharon Kim]

Thanks so much for reading and your kind words! :)

[sereenaoutloud]

this is really good. I love how you give a voice to the inside thoughts "choose me choose me"
I too am shy and completely understand that feeling well!
Great write Sharon. :)

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Sereena!