Weekend Warrrior

Weekly battle waged and won

Weekend Warrior

 

He rides upon his mighty steed

Cutting a swath through the emerald terrain.

In his wake, tiny forces take flight,

Scattering as he makes another pass.

 

On the ground, fallen soldiers lie,

Drying in the sun.

The smell of their wounds,

Fresh on the wind.

 

Dismounting, he wipes his brow

And surveys his conquest.

A job well done,

Drink in hand, he quenches his thirst.

Author's Note

Just playing around. Comments welcome. Wondering if it is too obvious...

Reviews

[ShelleyA]

Hi Sharon. A very good write and metaphor about your weekend warrior. Skillfully crafted free verse which I enjoy. Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of his winning battle against the terrain. We can see this steed so clearly. The sound, beauty and scent of grass being mowed is something any reader can see in their mind's eye. Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Nice rhythm. Good depth of feeling. Excellent closing lines. Well penned and a most entertaining piece. Write on!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you, Shelley! I admire your poems and your reviews!

[ShelleyA]

Hi Sharon. You're very welcome and my pleasure. Have a great day!

[Briana O'Connor]

Very good word play. This piece plays with my imagination, and my imagination is my favorite place to go. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!

[Sharon Kim]

Thanks Briana! This one was fun to write!

[Wórdsmíth]

Nice poem, some deep thoughts are working here like the theme of "war" with the passionate anthem of being loved. Great job!!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

[Alfred Kukitz]

The second stanza, the smell of their wounds, Fresh on the wind is a cleaver line but when you get to the third stanza the lines fall flat.

[Sharon Kim]

Alfred, I agree with you-the last stanza is not as strong. I'll put it on my list to tinker with. ;)

[A. Amos]

Interesting simple and very beautiful vivid picture you have shown in your poetry, simply adored it.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

[Emrick]

This is wonderful.I wouldn't have known the message behind this poem if it wasn't for reading the reviews below. .Here in Kenya the majority of people still use a hand slasher.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Emrick!

[Uday Kanungo]

this is different from others, but its also good. I love the last lines, especially. Just wondering why is the warrior "weekend".

[Sharon Kim]

I called it weekend warrior because often times people mow their grass on the weekends. So the "battle" would take place then. Thank you so much for taking time to read my poem. I haven't written in a while. I've been so busy I didn't realize how much I missed it!

[Uday Kanungo]

Oh! Thanks. Its a good poem anyway, and great writers always bounce back harder after a pause

[Inspiring Writer]

Great write, nicely done with your powerful words.

[Angi]

Fresh cut grass is one of my favorite scents. This poem was full of imagery. I could picture it all. His pride shone through. Angi~

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much for reading and your comments, Angi!. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

This is great! Reminds me of my grandfather, battling his half-acre astride his own trusty (or should I say rusty) steed.

Cutting a swath through the emerald terrain... :) Great description!

[Sharon Kim]

:) Thank you, Rita!. My husband got a ride-on mower at the beginning of the summer. I think he feels like he's part of some neighborhood boys' club!

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL! Men and their lawn toys...