A Faerie's Tale (take 2)

A faerie's quest told in rhyme

A Faerie’s Tale

 

 ‘neath the willow on the bank

‘mid the soil, dark and dank

Lies a dwelling small in size

Hidden from most human eyes.

 

Under reeds and pickerelweeds

Where the light of day recedes

In a toadstool, hollowed out

A wee faerie sits about.

 

Gossamer wings and flaxen hair

A skirt of leaves, she does wear

Sewn so neatly round her waist.

Bodice, up her back, is laced.

 

Gently set upon her head

Is a crown of flowers, red.

Slippers made from birch’s bark

Skin as pale as night is dark

 

Green eyes shine in candle’s light

Mischief glitters, gleaming bright

Light repast of berries ate

Blows out candle; through the gate

 

Flutters wings and takes to flight

Flitting, floating, impish sprite

With her rests the faerie’s hope

For freedom from the troll king’s yoke

 

Faerie’s safety she’ll secure

With the treasures she procures

Far and wide, she’ll have to search.

Spots a bird upon its perch

 

Hears the magpie as it sings

Tales of glittering, shining things.

So she listens as she waits

To the story he relates

 

“O’er the meadow’s grassy sea

Cross the land of fern and tree

High atop the craggy peak

Lies the treasure that you seek.

 

“In a cave on mountain’s side

There a goblin, he does hide

Hoard of gold and silver too

Careful be, lest he trap you

 

“Tiny faerie shall you be

To an adequate degree

Into stew that he shall make

A goblin’s hunger he shall sate.

 

 

“Wait until the sun is high

Sleeping goblin, sneak on by

Round the body on the floor

Grab some gold, then out the door.”

 

Journey safely back, my friend.”

The magpie’s song drew to an end.

In a bag wrapped round her waist

A small offering was encased

 

 

Debt, by golden thimble, paid

For information he relayed

Grasped in beak, he took flight

Circled once, then out of sight.

 

Nodding once, then nodding twice

Back to toadstool in a thrice

Packing fruit and bits of bread

For the journey’s path ahead

 

Magic satchel fits it all

Space to hold what suits the call

Flint and candle, length of twine,

Knife and water, blanket, fine.

 

Under cover of the night

Tiny faerie hides from sight

As she sneaks out, from her house

Quiet, quiet, like a mouse

 

Stealing softly up the tree

Hoping for a glimpse to see

Trusted friend to share this quest

‘till its end, she shall not rest

 

Whistling softly like a bird

Faerie’s signal call is heard

Answered by a firefly.

This adventure’s time is nigh

 

“Friend firefly, douse thy light,

For you shine it much too bright

Silently, go forth, we must

In my planning, you must trust.”

 

Troll King’s henchmen lie in wait,

As their hearts are filled with hate

For all things good and light

They shall turn the day to night

 

Force them to use good for bad

Twist their magic, make them sad

Harvest all their fairy dust

Use for matters most unjust

 

Author's Note

This is a second version. I have changed some in the middle and added to it. Very much a work in progress-the journey is not complete, but I would love thoughts on how it is working so far.
All comments/critiques/questions welcome!

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

Whew . . . I'm out of breath. This is not my normal reading material, I saw it on my feed, thought I'd have a look, and . . .well here I am. I never know how to review children books or poems, other than stating the standard stuff, spelling, missing words, etc, etc, so I tend to go off whether or not I can finish it and if I could see myself reading this to my nieces and nephews when they were younger; I’m sure they would have enjoyed this and had a blast. I'll leave the critique to those who know better, but thanks for the entertaining read.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much for reading this! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[Cody Williams]

I think it's working very well. I'll be waiting for more!

-CW

[Sharon Kim]

Thanks for reading Cody. I know this isn't your usual cup of tea! ;)

[Woody]

adorable poem for the little 'uns. all the protagonists are there and the rhyme's superb.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much for reading and for your comments, Woody!

[Alfred Kukitz]

Sharon the story entranced me. I love your sustainability; it's a long piece. Well done!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Alfred! It's still not finished...someday! :)

[Leonard Birch]

Beautifully written Sharon. It flowed nicely and would makes a great read. Thank you once again.
(I have been away Sharon and have come back to some wonderful work)
Take care
Leo

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Leo! I hope you enjoyed your time away!

[Leonard Birch]

Thanks Sharon. It was for mainly work. Glad to be back. I am a Carer for the Disabled.
Hope everything is well with you to?
Leo

[Sharon Kim]

I would imagine that is rewarding work! Everything is well. I started back to work yesterday. :( Sad my summer's over!

[Leonard Birch]

Here the weather is super. Cold , wet and windy. They can hold onto the wind, but we need the rain.
Have a great week, Sharon. Give my regards to the family.
Leo

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Leo! And you as well! :)
Sharon

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Sharon, such beautiful imagery! I hope that you realize how many little people will absolutely love this. (And big people, too!)

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much Sharon! :)

[Catlen]

Sharon, this is getting better and better. You have beautiful images, the flow is wonderful and I honestly can't wait to see your complete story.

If you ever see it published, I know that my young students will be ecstatic to read it.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you, Catherine! I just started back to school today-2 weeks of meetings before school starts on the 26th. I'll have to squeeze my writing in!

[Catlen]

26th of August? I start on the 16th of September.

[Sharon Kim]

Wow! I go back early. My kids don't go back until Sept. 4 and 6th. How many days do you go each year?

[Catlen]

You lost me a bit... How many days a week I work each year? How many days of holidays I've got? Sorry, but I didn't quite get your question.

[Sharon Kim]

Oops, sorry. our kids have to go to school,180 days out of the year which is about 10 months. There are 3 weeks throughout the ten months they don't go to school. How many days do your kids have to attend school each year?

[Catlen]

Schools in Greece start on 11th September and end on 15th June. Holidays for us are 4 weeks (Christmas and Easter) and then the rest of the summer. But I'm a private teacher so that means a totally different schedule.

[bobc]

Nice to see the pace and cadence sustained in such a long piece. Still have a few suggestions for you to consider.

1. Third stanza...'a skirt of waxen leaves she wears' rather than 'a skirt of leaves, she does wear' and 'behind, a fair bodice is laced' rather than 'bodice, up her back, is laced'.
2. Eighth stanza...'tales of glitter, shining things' rather than 'tales of glittering, shining things'.
3. Tenth stanza...'There's a goblin there that hides' rather than 'there a goblin, he does hide'. (The last line is awkward too but I haven't any suggestion for you.)

Read to me a children's piece...maybe a small book...bob

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you Bob for reading and for the suggestions! I appreciate it and I will look into them. :) Definitely a children's piece-I'd love to see it as a picture book. Thanks again!