Slipping and Falling

A Story by {REDACTED}

Lost in a world of confusion...

Just a dream... Just a dream...
As I open my eyes the word is a complete blur, my unconcious mind is aware that something isn't right but I cannot put my finger on what it is. A cloud of despair looms over my mind, waking up is a complicated task initself for me but a new emotion emerges. I listen to the what I am told and gather up my stuff then leave the house but I open the door to chaos. As I am walking down my steps my vision is clouded by smoke, there are ambulances, firetrucks and police officers, houses are missing, houses are on fire. I walk past the emergency teams, I walk by the news, I walk by the gawkers; People are dead, people are hurt, people are scared, people are in shock.
I have been running alongside somewhat of a hypomanic episode the last little bit, my life seemed to be going great, I was on top of the world.
Im falling again...
Then something like this happens, even though it has not effected my life physically, it has made me crash. For some reason the spurts of depression, hopelessness and lost direction are returning, I don't know how long I will be able to hold on for, my fingers are slipping from the ledge I am holding on to, if I am to fall this time I believe it may be my last time to fall.
The past has its dark secrets but all the times I have fell off the edge before were just me jumping, this time will be different though, I am trying to hold on, I truly am.
If I am to fall this time, I will surely land face first, rock bottom is something that I could not handle right now.
Im shaking... Im reeling... Im spouting... Im shouting...
I am trying to push away the episodes but they are tearing me up, I don't know how long I can handle this for but please do me a favor, and forget about me when I am gone, things will be better without the grief.
Im hanging on for now...