Burning Up

A romantic poem

His pouty mouth

Brushes against mine

while fingers stroke

up the sensitive curve 

of my back,

writhing in pleasure

 

My chest pounds

the red-cheek feeling

arises when hands

Intertwine, 

fingers lacing together.

 

No one saw the

 

Unabashed true emotion

Coming out of its shell

as it explodes into colours 

of animalistic passion.

A shelter, a lover

Hovering over

Innocence

 

giving way

 

To new life, new worlds

Finally.

Reviews

[O'Helloron]

I like the tightness of the form (short lines, starting with the longest stanza and ending with the shortest), and I like the feel of "a lover hovering over". Question: It's all in present tense except for "no one saw" in the middle. Was that intentional, or an oversight?

[Persona]

Thank you for reading O'Helloron. Yes it was, because it's a glance into the past - no saw their love.

[O'Helloron]

Yeah, but no one saw it as it explodes?

[Buddhistboy73]

A nicely penned piece....full of emotion....and a fine ending too...."To new life, new worlds"....."Finally".......Thanks for sharing...:)
BB

[Persona]

Thank you.

[Alia ZJ.]

I loved the ending especially 'To new life, new worlds - Finally'. The words seem insignificant yet they have a power to absolve the entire poem into them. A good piece. :)

[Persona]

Thank you Ghalia.

[kimmy]

This was a lovely poem and I loved it. I think that with telling about the beginning of new things opening up:) I give you two thumbs up, very good job.

[Persona]

Thanks Kimmy!

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

Nice poem I should say, I like the ending " To new life, new worlds Finally"
Excellent job!
100/100

[Persona]

Thank you for being so encouraging - I try to end things well and I really appreciate that you've commented upon that.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

woooooow that was hot and heavy lol

[J. F. Charleston]

It's he's back from the dead for a new life, then he chooses to give you a new one. That's actually very beautiful how you put that idea into the words above. The imagery and feel of the character is amazing.

[Persona]

I love your interpretation of my work J. F. and thank you so much

[Rtrt]

The imagery is very vivid in your words. I love that so few words can describe your passion. Nice perspective, is this a true experience? Or more of a passion you dream of? The "finally" at the end gives me the feeling that you yearn for this.

[Persona]

It is more a passion I dream of - we all could do with a wonderful loving partner, but so few of us meet them in life. Thank you so much for thinking about the message behind the poem too, that takes intelligence and a deep thinking reader

[Hester Vane]

I love the last line. Reminds me of the way i have felt about such things on occasion! Beautifully written, well done!

[Persona]

Thank you. It's always good to hear an opinion I deeply respect