The dieing man's plee

Contest submission (Poem about Time)

Life is to a hourglass as time is to a clock.

You cannot try to change the time or try to make it up

Time is to a Hourglass as Life is to a clock.

No matter how hard you try youll always waste it up.

If you try not to waste your time your time will soon be up.

So heed the words of this old fool and treasure life as I cannot do.

For my time is running short i pray that you will truely see.

That what you waste you cant regain.

Author's Note

Tried to make it ryhme the best i could XD

Reviews

[The Wave]

I like this.
there were spelling/grammar errors, "a hourglass" should be "an hourglass" and "dieing" should be "dying"

and it seemed as if you tried for this to rhyme. poems dont necessarily have to, but then because every line rhymed and the last one didn't, you disrupted the flow of the poem.
it's like you were missing the last line.

but overall i enjoyed reading it. so good job. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A outstanding poem. Time is our most valuable thing we can control. Description was very good. You wasted no words. Poem is powerful with wisdom.
Coyote.

[James K. Blaylock]

This is so true. Life is fleeting and time never stops. Therefore, live for this moment as the next is unsure. Be blessed

jkb

[NaeNaeContraption]

This is rly good, favorite.

[Jennifer Marie Theresa ..]

haha well I love this poem, its simple, RHYMING ;] and interesting. It makes you think about life and how it can just end or run out. Brilliant =]

[Requs]

Short, simple, easy to understand, gives the message that needed to be sent
Thumbs up
~Matt

[Aercion]

This is a very intrigueing peice. But my only advice would be not to stress over making it rhyme. A poem is supposed to be abstract and some of the best ever written did not even rhyme. Unfortunately I am about to leave class, but when I have a chance I will definitely read the rest of your works.

[R. L. Ambar]

Very good poem, well written with a nice flow.


#_#

R L. Roper

[VintageHottie]

Very lovely poem!! It flowed very well. The one critique I can give is that in the line "You cannot try change the time or try to make it up" you need to add a "to" between try and change.
Other than that, a beautiful poem about time lost.