Confessions of an estranged heart

A Story by Vanessa June

No one ever deserves such pain...going on and on for that long because of something that wasn't even real?that is even worse,because in your mind you are searching for closure with that shattered part of your soul only to realize, that shattered part is an illusion. There is absolutely no néed for closures it has always been a facade. The peace you thought you derived from that person? That wasn't peace, it was ridicule and ridicule on a steady only makes you wonder, what was ever real in all of these. The lies? The lines, the thoughts, the apologies,tears? Connection? Love? ..it was a figment of your imagination,and then it all fits in. The only reason you ever had that phase in the first place was because it was based on lies. The whole thing of course, the choice you made was the wrong one, from the very beginning, that home of peace and that place you found solace only contributed to the pain you lived as a life all these while.
Then it brings you to the question at hand, after all these years, I thought I had something that went wrong I did not realize there was nothing there at all. There are no tears at this realization, only the laughter that comes out one that feels not just stupid but extremely disappointed in a lot of things she believed in...the one little consolation she had, has been yanked directly from under her feet and all that is left are bits and pieces of her broken heart...literally! The sadness that engulfed her at such realization and to worsen it, the casualness that came with it, forgetting the damage it has caused her all these while...how depressed and saddened she was and how that topic was so touchy for so long...none of those were considered when they casually spat in her face and threw her back to the s**t she just got out of...
She is not sure she is capable of hate, but that resentment? There will never be an end, the drama she has had to go through all in the name of the first She ever cared about,and then you realize it wasn't just mutual...you were the spark of the moment, some kind of conquest, wasn't anything intense. Just imagine how people out there look at you when you feel like something ever existed there. They just shake their head in scorn and laugh at how gullible and naive you have been all these while...who deserves to be treated as such,Especially with genuine feelings. Who?