The House

This poem is a Prequel to "Darkness". It sums up my feelings about another life that I lived in the past, that I had never really gotten over. I returned to the house & got my answer, to my despair.

The House (first version)

There is an old house.

In a street.

Much like the other houses in the street

But its different.

Inside something waits.

And has been waiting for a long time.

It can't forget. What it is waiting for.

Its waiting to hear those steps.

That it will never hear again.

Its waiting to hear that voice

It will never hear again.

The touch.

It will never feel again

Still it waits.

Years.

Decades.

Till end of days

There is no ending.

The House (second version)

 

In a street there is an old house.

It is not like the others in the street.

For there is something different.

The house looks as if it is waiting.

Waiting to hear familiar footsteps.

Waiting to hear a vivacious voice.

Waiting to feel a tangible touch.

Within lies the memories of a time past.

There is a longing to revisit the old house.

To relive the moments that are now long gone.

The longing will not cease.

Years

 Decades

 Till end of days

There is no ending.

Author's Note

As mentioned above this was a Prequel to my poem "Darkness" and was written a couple of weeks before it. I sent it to an old friend, who suggested the changes in the "second version". I'm curious to know what people think. Like "Darkness" this poem has intense personal feelings for me.

Reviews

[Natalie]

The house seems to be a metaphor for a love affair which is long since past. The first version appears to be written from one of the lover's perspectives possibly the one who stayed. The second version could be read as a response to the first poem possibly from the lover that left. The first lover is waiting for the departed lover to return while the other longs to return but doesn't think it is possible. The lovers give the reader the impression that they are at cross-purposes. One keeps waiting but doesn't believe the other will return but still waits in hope; one keeps longing to return but believes the other is no longer wanting their return. I'm interested to see how the story ends.....will the lovers reunite in a future poem perhaps?

[softlyspoken]

I LOVE YOUR SECOND EDIT ITS MORE APPEALING AND DEEP. I LIKE THIS PIECE IT MAKES THE READER THINK ABOUT WHAT IS THE DEEPER MEANING.

[Skalved]

thanks softlyspoken, nice to have another view, looks like the second version is indeed the better version

[Skalved]

Hi Natalie. You seem to have neatly summed it up. Sorry for not replying to your post sooner, when you posted it a week ago. If I had replied sooner the answer to your question may have differed. I wrote a new poem, it's the 3rd in this same story. "The House" is the first, "Darkness" is the second, "D'elle' is the third, just written, which I'll post up in a few minutes