You think I'd be used to this
By now, at least
Used to the put downs
Used to the seclusion
The never ending failure
Letting everyone down
Slowly dying inside
Metaphorical tears drop from my eyes
Like leaves in the fall
Like hopes and aspirations
Bathing in the neglect
Never quite clean enough
This mask, worn with shame
To hide everything
Flaws, failures, lifelessness
Yes you seen gleefully unaware
All is well in your world
While I lay here, broken
Nothing could be worse
If only I could show you
Explain in a way you could understand
But I can't scream you my soul
Not anymore, anyway
I've grown hoarse
I submerge myself in this
Holding my breath
Forcing it all in, once the air is gone
Gasping, I emerge
What a waste
What a shame
Why even emerge at all?
Not next time
Not again