Dead inside

King of everywhere, but what was on my mind at 5am in the morning.

I am hurt by the silence of you 
All I want is for your trust, your truth
 
I pretend everything is fine so that you can go about your day 
Family and friends think they know me, but they don't see - they don't see inside of me 
I've been known to be the strong one kept around for reasons unknown 
I've begged for the answers, but I still feel alone 
A dark cloud has surrounded my presence and I feel no sense of peace 
 
I find that I'm in fits of anger when I'm alone 
I want to scream and hit the walls 
Pain feels better than to feel nothing at all 
It releases endorphins to help me get through the day 
Free from the pain of being me 
 
I used to love so much with all my heart 
You've turned my light dark 
I try to run, but you cry for me to stay 
Only then you tell me how you feel about me 
Only when I want to run away 
 
I can't go on much longer like this 
Not with you, Not with your attitude 
I grew up too fast to raise an adult again and again 
I lived through the torment 
I thought you'd understand and maybe show a little sympathy 
 
When you come in at night you fall straight to sleep 
I wonder how you do it - is there nothing that worries you? 
Of course not, your still a child inside 
I don't wish what I've been through upon you, but only that you try to put yourself in my shoes 
 

Author's Note

There is a lot going on in this whether it's self-inflicted pain, love, abuse, darkness.. just all that's on my mind.

Reviews

[Sandra Acevedo]

This reminded me of my youth. Know this if nothing at all. The best times can be, when we are with our me. I enjoyed this.

[Brett Forsythe]

You're really good.

[Cynthia]

I can relate to it a lot, its what i feel whenever I fee blue,such a relatable poem, I guess everyone will feel like this some time, it all depends on self control, but when the feeling is so strong, who can control it? I love this poem, telling all the emotions we feel when we kinda lost control. The flow is great. I love the ending, its the key of knowing what others feel, to prevent of hurting people.