A Penned Romance - 1

He took in the vivid image that looked back at him, equally baffled and surprised. It seemed as if time has run its course at a speedier pace and suddenly, he felt old, old enough to disregard any public expression of one’s pain. The frown seemed to have become a permanent aspect of his face making him look back to his past identity where his smile, contagious as it was, existed and she said that she loved him for it.

He splashed cold water on his face and jerked back at the searing sensation. It had snowed all night and the temperature outside had dropped down as much as his had risen up during the night. His legs wobbled beneath his drooping frame during his lengthy trip to the washroom. He had felt sick before but unlike the other times, it was as if some sort of infliction has settled on his soul as well. A feeling of hopelessness, so strong, it made him feel all the more alone in that foreign place full of strangers. He stared long and hard, squinting at his sickly sight then, with a final look he started walking back to his unkempt bed. He curled up into a ball underneath his warm blanket and turned off the lights, preparing for a late Sunday morning.

His tired and bloodshot eyes closed in on themselves but he remained awake for the next couple of minutes, tossing and turning in his bed. His body was exhausted, with him skipping meals on a regular basis and dealing with processed food most of the time, sleep-deprived �" he showed all the symptoms of love-sickness, he thought with a sad smile. He did not want to but his thoughts gradually wandered to her and he pondered over the idea of being really alone after so many years. Maybe love isn’t enough, he thought grimly.

 It had been a perfect start of the week. His grades had earned him jealous compliments from his classmates and enthusiastic praises from the teachers while his music had enthralled the audiences at each event where he performed. He lived and was at peace in those perfect, tranquil moments when his voice and notes had filled the gaps of silence so perfectly. He recalled those feelings of being alive and complete, standing in front of the cheering crowd. Those glowing faces and the excited clamor of the room appealed to him and brought him closer towards the musician that has always resided inside of him. And yet, lying on his bed, all his achievements and proud memories felt incomplete. His mind conjured distorted images and disjoint thoughts, lacking a proper ending and jumping to a different story with a flick of an eye. Those memories crowded his mind and he couldn’t help it. Her face continued to haunt him through those early morning hours while he gave up and stared once again at one of the many images of her he had stored in his cell phone. He realized that although she was just a click away from him, he won’t reach out to her that night. Not when the very link which would have been worthy of his every single remaining breath, had been pulled apart so cruelly.

His condition was not different when he woke up a few hours later. He felt mentally and physically exhausted; his body resisted against any movement of his limbs and while his mind had grown tired of pondering over the same issues over and over and over again. He decided against his groaning muscles to go out to the nearby grocery store. He needed supplies �" medicines, food �" besides a break from the restlessness that clung to him like a leech.

The trip was, if anything else, an aimless walk down the road, waist deep in unending thoughts and ankle deep in the snow. He was shivering by the time he entered the store and was surprised to find it rather empty than usual. After a quick scan of his surroundings, he made his way to the nearest aisle that displayed a range of cereals and chocolate biscuits. His gaze lingered a minute longer than usual at the chocolate chip cookies, a strong reminder of his past, but he snapped out of it and put it in his basket without a look at it again. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey. Whoa, are you ok?” Mark looked surprised. His long wavy hair added to his overall disheveled look but it was nothing out of the ordinary for him. A friendly classmate, he usually ran into Mark on his way to the music store but never before had he seen him taking rounds of the boring aisles of a grocery shop. His athletic and unkempt state stood out among the neat and organized atmosphere of the store, making him an anomaly, just like himself. He felt a smile crawl its way across his face after a long gap of time. It was good to see him, a friendly face inquiring about him in good faith.

“I’m ok, just a lil’ feverish.” He replied, with a slight smile. “But what are you doing here?” he exclaimed, as he made his way deeper into the maze of aisles to gather the other items. Mark followed him close behind.

“Uhm, I don’t want to intrude upon your private space but uh, is everything alright between you and her?” Mark said in a graver tone while he plucked a coffee can out of the shelf and restored it again, clearly hinting at the awkwardness of discussing it with him.

He frowned at him. “Who are you hinting at?” his question appeared genuine enough but he couldn’t hide the surprise in his tone.

“Well, you forgot to log off Facebook the last time you used it from the library computer. I accidentally opened up your conversation with, you know, ‘her’, and there were a lot of nasty words. So I’m just connecting things here. Is everything fine?” This time Mark made an effort to hold his gaze firmly till he wavered and looked away, fuming at the sheer possibility of his crumbling privacy out in the open for everyone to look at and analyze. He immediately regretted coming out of his room, and his bed.

“Everything’s fine. We, uh, sorted it out later.” He mumbled against the bare shelves of soaps and detergents and started making his way to the counter without taking a look back. But he felt Mark behind him.

“I feel you should move on, dude.” Mark said, after a long pause. “You deserve someone better.”

Dumb-founded, he stared back at Mark, wondering what to say and what to withhold. 

[to be continued...]

Author's Note

Another attempt at prose writing. :)

Reviews

[Dayran]

Strong expressions are the order of the day these days, where the physical nature of our experiences has come to take such a firm hold of our experiences. The construction is great and where the reader relies on you to move on, the subtle hesitations in the activities reported, brings a hint of risk and stimulates the reading experience. Keep at it.

It is in combining the metaphorical with the physical that most writers come to a knot on issues. To tackle it and overcome it, makes a person feel like an aphrodisiac. Try reading Anna Kavan.

[Amila Jay]

Ooh!! this is very exciting, a good read!!!! What will happen next??? :)