Transparent Existence

For the group 'Creative Poetry'.

The idea of a transparent existence

Haunts me

 

Knowing and fearing

The deception that lurks

Beneath the shadows of the surrounding faces

With opaque lives and darkened minds

Their sinister smiles

Indicating the gloom that lies ahead

Or maybe it is sympathy, misinterpreted

That I will share their fate

Rotten repugnant thoughts

Infecting the mind

Like maggots infect a corpse

 

Transparent

No robes of pretensions and lies

Like clear markings on the wall

About the past

The present

And the future

My mind, once an abode

Of the dreams and imagination

Of every colour imagined and seen

Not yet bruised by a reality check

Which brought with itself

The ghastly nightmares of future

And filled my present with ominous threats

Perhaps my life was too easy to decipher

Living every predictable second

Living a life with strings in some else’s hands

 

Would you not rather be isolated and safe

Than be social and insecure?

Would you not dare to make your own mistakes

Than repeat the old ones?

Would you not dare to close your mind

Fearing a theft of your secrets?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The idea of a transparent existence

Haunts me still

For I know not what is to come

But the way they smirk and glare at me

Maybe they do

Author's Note

And...?

Reviews

[realmwriter]

No One knows what is come. No matter how well we plan our lives, sometimes things just don't go as planned. Yet looking into such a bleak future as a transparent exsistance is indeed a haunting thought. Sometimes we put it all under a cloak and hope no one sees but in the end we all know that it is on display for the world to see no matter how much we try to hide it.
If one does not one to see right through one then one ought to keep ones thoughts and feelings in ones mind, because as yet, that is the only place they are still safe.

[Raven Starhawk]

I like how you included "they" in bold type. When I came to this last line in your poem I was simply delighted. The beginning certainly had me intrigued as your smooth introduction gave a robust nudge that refused to let my lazy mind wander.

[Chris Taylor]

I loved this one. I was totally enamored with the use of the word repugnant. Nobody seems to use that word much any more. It has such a staccato feel and the words just after it must flow together very well for it to work properly in the line. So, kudos for that. Great poem and great word selection.

[patricia]

There's such a lot of good stuff in this that indicates your knowledge and depth. I especially liked ..Not yet bruised by a reality check. Thanks.

[Dayran]

A bold look at the travails of the social self, rich for its variety and joys but like the morning glory, short lived. Its temporal nature is the very impetus for the pleasure its generates. We wonder about how much is enough when we bring it into play with others.... how transparent. The alternative is the knave behind the castle walls that lives isolated and seeks a greater stability to the social experience. A poem that doesn't say we are nameless, but has yet to say what our name stands for.

[Liza]

If we could all read each other's minds; there would be no crime or lies...no need to communicate...actually it would be something not to fear...

[Kenneth The Poet]

And...scary...like I'm reading 1984 by Orwell, or Brave New World by Huxley. Excellent, awesome piece of work.

[Sakib]

Nice thought here. I liked the whole structure. Great write.

[unknown]

Isolation and solitude has been my friend from birth, but i do love to socialize and interact with others. I just need it all in moderation.

[Don Shaw]

Wow great flow and very very thought provoking. Great work here.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Cool message...
Brings out the negative aspects of the social world.