The Real Love Story

Its my real life love story...

Crossing the safe and not-so-hard boundaries of the eighth standard and entering the the high school went very uneventful on my part. My grades remained "almost" intact save for math - the subject that introduced me to the pain of failing in a subject. And I did fail...so many times that by now, when I have passed the school I have become immune to it.

The people were different, different faces, different personalities waiting to be explored. Friends are easy to make, I think I'm a pro at it. At that point of time I was grown up enough to let go of the idea that "boys-can-not-be-our-friends" thing. I came from a world where talking with a guy would spark up unnecessary rumours about an affair, something I was sure would make me kill someone.

But I said "blah" and concentrated on other, "better" stuff -  the books in the library, hahaha... It didn't matter who I talked with. If it seemed to be a decent enough person, I was more than glad to be a part of the conversation. Damn, I'm a social animal!

Well, coincidence and my luck played their part and the link up rumours started with the first guy i talked with in the class. The jokes were endless, the sarcasms, the weird accents and the other-worldly humour all simply fit in place and yes, sitting side by side did help. We became friends, talked together, laughed together, hated the studies together...the usual stuff.

That's when the bad news hit. I started hearing "things" about him and myself. To be exact, people told me that he liked me. I was in a terrible "wtf" situation for so many days. Sometimes I caught him staring at me and god knows how I stopped myself from throwing whatever was in my hand at the moment hard into his face. Staring is the biggest irrtation in my life. It sets me off, really bad.

The conclusion was made. He was the one responsible for all the teasing and irritating glares which HAD to stop no matter what. What's the first option? Boycott. No explainations given or taken. The plan was simple. Make people believe you hate the guy so they'd stop pestering me. Selfish and illogical and terribly insensitive but apparently, the best and the easiest way out.

What happens next? I don't talk to him for the next "whole" year and burn myself in guilt for the later part. Truth hits harder than anything and me being my worst critic, loathed what I did and what he must've felt. Hurting someone is totally out of my league. I acn never dream of doing it, let alone do it intentionally. But yeah, that's what I did. And that's what made all my diary entries so overflowing with guilt and assumptions on his part.

Whenever I saw him, I wondered what he must be thinking when I refused to reply him everytime he initiated a talk. It must've felt bad, I can guess. "Rejection" in any form, is painful.

We arrived in 10th standard. After a lot of second, third, fourth and fifth thoughts, I decided that it was high time now. I had to apologise with him but firstly, I had to talk with him. How to talk with a guy whom I've been hating for so long? "Orkut"! God bless social networking sites.

The next obstacle was the topic of the conversation. That was solved, I replied on the first thing I saw on the screen.

What I had been preparing for was to be put on his ignore list or maybe welcomed with a bad attitude, the way I treated him in the past, the very same.

But no! Surprise, surprise. The guy is behaving as if nothing happened and I'm dying to know what he is thinking. At times like these I prefer to be a psychic, atleast that'd help me understand things.

The surprise never ended because he never really enquired about the whole boycott thing except for a puny question - "are you angry with me?" "uh, what? no.."

Tip : To avoid a topic that requires an explaination on your part, always pretend a memory loss. Trust me, it works every damn time!  :)

So we start talking again. In a few months, I was begging God to make me see atleast one of this guy's flaws, well, except for the usual ones. Nobody's perfect, though, his personality got enlisted in one of the greatest guys I knew. It was hard to forget the whole 9th - 10th scenario yet, I did it. He did it before me, haha...

And then, lah! lah! lah! in between all those texts and chats and phone calls, I realized that my longing for a conversation with him was more than just a friendly one. The first emotion was "embarrassment". Having a crush in high school is cute but I'm abnormal so I felt embarrassed about it. That didn't had any effect on the conversations though. They still went on and I tried my best to overcome the weirdness that had filled me up.

I went to my advisor, Cynthia. She listened everything, got irritated mid-way and put out the truth in simple words, "I had started to like him."

Me : Oh s**t...  :(

But anyway, the weirdness wore off and the usual mushy feeling settled in, gradually though. The texting increased, so did the chatting and phone calls, by the time we were in the last year of out school life.

Everyday, it was an utter chaos in my mind. Concentration was long gone and I still wonder how I managed to study. Screw the day-dreams, they made me feel so ugh...can't put it in words.

The worst part was the time when almost all my friends in my section ranted about their boy-friends. I had nothing to contribute except laugh and exclaim at certain points in the conversation. Though, I did wonder at times, how would life change if I really did have a boyfriend. I guess, it was one of my new year resolutions...of 2009, hahaha... (yes, I know..i'm very pathetic.)

Then came the phase when I didn't know what this guy was talking about. The cryptic replies irrtated me and sent my imagination flying most of the time. I had to keep my feet on the ground and not get swept away by the unconfirmed "hints" and so, I resisted, delayed, ignored, did everything I could do.

But the irritation was inevitable. I can't go on talking with someone whose replies are so f*****g hard to decipher. I requested, begged, practically pleaded him to "elaborate" on what he was saying but no! revenge time for him, eh? He left me there rotting in my wondrous cell of my mind where my imagination tormented me all the time. This time I felt something was fishy at his end too. So, I never thought I'd do this, but I did start giving him a head start in the conversation hoping he'd be brave enough to come out with the truth, whatever it was. The hints went unnoticed, damn him! I lost all hope..well, almost. But I still tried.

The board exams were going on and what I did was text this guy who couldn't even dare to explain his words solely because texting with him was a need, a necessity that had to be staisfied. So many message cards died in my attempt to seek the truth. But to no avail.

I finally pushed some more and after a few fateful texting, came the point when I was so worked up with irritation and suspense that I opened the whole story to rohini who later kicked me into the most difficult and embarrassing confession on my life till now, lest he refused. More or less, when I asked him if he liked me back, the jerk agreed and then backed off (The 25th larch scenario). The first feelings of "rejection" setlled in and well, i was in a mess again. I didn't want to talk to him, text him, isolate myself but more than that, he was one of my greatest friends and i ignored my gigantic embarrassment that had  almost made me cry and continued with the texting and talking.

The cyptic talks started again, so did the weird and mushy feelings of the obvious interpretations. "if he doesn't like me after saying all this crap, he's a flirt god and he should rot in hell for this", i thought.

To confirm the things for once and for all, I had rohini slang me enough so that I sent that one message that has well, changed my official relationship status, haha...

But yes, he is an amateur when it comes to dating and stuff. I'm not a pro but in every way better than him at this. (thank you stephanie meyer, the author of twilight saga)

Luck never favoured me before but just this once, I'm glad it didn't go against me.

A very initial stage of relationship and yet, both of us are apparently very much into the other person. Technically, we're beyond the crush level. I'm still dealing with the fact that I've got a boyfriend. "o..m..g.."

So yes, the girl took the initiative, the guy blushed and didn't deny what he really felt (and unknowingly gave the girl a privilege to tease him his whole life about what a coward he is) and honestly, I'd say that "its just getting started"...

Author's Note

Well, my boyfriend asked me MY view on everything and this cam out. It's also my first "love letter". Ignore my cheesy and pathetic behavior and I hope, you enjoyed that... Not very eventful, I'd say. :P

Reviews

[*Kantola*]

Pfft, I would definitely NOT classify this as cheesy and pathetic behavior! It's classic teenage behavior :D "I can't make up my mind, i dont like this mockery!"
I LOVED THIS!
"I guess, it was one of my new year resolutions...of 2009, hahaha... (yes, I know..i'm very pathetic.)"
^^^ This made me laugh. In a good way :D Don't worry, I had a new year resolution every year to get a boyfriend... and I never did it, I'd always get too chicken and focused on other things. But I might actually pull through this upcoming new year =]
CONGRATULATIONS To you!!! :) I'm glad you have a BF now.
I loved this story, I loved all of the emotion, the narration, the everything!!!
MORE MORE MORE :)

[light and ashes]

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us :) It is an entertaining read lol. I also hate stairs. It makes me super uncomfortable.

[chloe cruz]

Awe. Siya. :D. I cant even say anything, I'm just smiling so widely. And my eyes are watery. o....o.