Lone drop of rain

One of my best works, I think.

I am this lone drop of rain

The clouds have gone away, again

The bright sunlight burns my skin

As if happiness is itself a sin

I always wanted to fly free

To try to be the real "me"

Not let the winds blow me dry

I got the will, I got to try

But I am this lone drop of rain

Sailing the desert winds in pain

All alone, none like me in sight

The burning days; the freezing nights

One dune to the next, wandering aimlessly

I have, with myself, my own sympathy

Blanketed by dark, sorrowful stars

With their dead gloom, twinkling they are

I am but this lone drop of rain

On a green leaf, muddy and stained

With the likes of me all around

Majestic scenes, a paradise I found

The peace and joy were, alas, brief

For I was a stain, not a pearl on leaf

I wanted to cry out loud

Why I was still alone in the crowd

I left the forest of smiling drops

My heart broke with tiny pops

Still aimless and wandering, still alone

Searching for a place that could be my home

For now, I was ugly, didn't expect much

Muddied, I was too disgusting to touch

I traveled the world, none I found

Who'd accept me without judging on any ground

Acceptance, you see, is hard to expect

For one, like me, an easy target of neglect

I still wander, a lone drop of rain

Hoping my journey didn't go in vain 

Author's Note

Now this is serious work. I can't alter the position of image somehow so sorry for the wrong placement, lol. But mainly, please tell me about the poem. Constructive criticism welcome.. :)

Reviews

[stars are far]

"I traveled the world, none I found
Who'd accept me without judging on any ground
Acceptance, you see, is hard to expect
For one, like me, an easy target of neglect
I still wander, a lone drop of rain
Hoping my journey didn't go in vain "
i loved those lines a lot
but great work !! :)

[kurrupted]

Hmm! (kurruted sighs nodding) whe i have seen great piece of poems here, this piece is one too outstanding. have read it over and over again and each time's like for the first time, so much of the essence of poetry where it infuses the reader into its lines, making one part of it....relative as a lone drop of rain. Excellent piece siya, while you read this review am reading the piece again.

[Tate Morgan]

Excellant train of thought and the metaphor is classic

[Emily B]

wonderful and deep

[poetic soul]

It was a very deep n profound read....there was so much more to yo words than jus the superficial meaning of it... i enjoyed the read... especially theses lines:

I am but thi lone drop of rain
On a green leaf, muddy and stained

such a pure form of bliss of nature......looks so filthy...gr8 job gal...loved yo style...thnx for sharing...

:) Love,
Krishna

[Hisou_Tenshi]

I really enjoyed this poem. Comparing your loneliness to a single droplet of rain is something I hadn't thought about really. It's a really beautiful poem with a message that rings out as beautiful as a bell.

[Ruby Moon]

interest and surprisingly so since we are talking but a lone drop of rain =)

[chloe cruz]

Wow, Siya... That has to be my most favorite piece of work you've ever done. That took my breath away, it was so beautiful yet so depressing. This doesn't even need constructive criticism, it was so amazingly well-written, every word place beautifully in front of the next. If you want perfection, the only thing you need to change is "the" in this line: "I am but thi lone drop of rain". Otherwise, it is perfect... Remarkable. And, you're right, it is so much more serious, much more of a demanding and dominate piece of poetry, one to surely impress even the greatest of poets. And, I actually like how the picture is placed in the middle, even though it was an accident. It think it emphasizes it more, teasing the reader until it arrives to the picture.

"I am but the lone drop of rain
On a green leaf, muddy and stained
With the likes of me all around
Majestic scenes, a paradise I found
The peace and joy were, alas, brief
For I was a stain, not a pearl on leaf
I wanted to cry out loud
Why I was still alone in the crowd
I left the forest of smiling drops
My heart broke with tiny pops
Still aimless and wandering, still alone
Searching for a place that could be my home
For now, I was ugly, didn't expect much
Muddied, I was too disgusting to touch
I traveled the world, none I found
Who'd accept me without judging on any ground
Acceptance, you see, is hard to expect
For one, like me, an easy target of neglect
I still wander, a lone drop of rain
Hoping my journey didn't go in vain"

Simply astonishing...

And Siya, if you are feeling like you're this, this lone drop... Please talk to me. I love you to pieces, and it hurts to know you're hurting so much- I'm begging. You were always there for me during my depression... I need to be here for you.

Chloe.

[*Kantola*]

Amazing job, Siya! Wow... so many rhyming words... kudos to you :) I fail at rhyming, horribly. The best I have is "cat" "bat" "rat" "hat" etc.
Wow! This was indeed an amazing piece, very serious in contrast to all of your other pieces; on love. Not that love can't be serious ;) I loved some of the slant rhyme you had going. (Aimlessly/sympathy, rain/again/skin/sin) I loved this piece. I think this has to be my favorite piece of yours! I'll be reading this over and over and over again when I feel down. It has a great melancholy tone. Keep it up! :)

[ebur™]

I think this was a very interesting poem with an unusual point of view that I really enjoyed reading. Your really described the feeling well to where I could easily understand it and the emotions felt. I also love that picture, it gave me more of a visual. Overall, I think you did a wonderful job and I don't really have much of a constructive criticism to give you unless it has to do with some grammar and spelling issues, which there weren't that many of. :P Great job :)