What do I have

 What do I have that I can call truly mine?

What..but for these words that I carry in my mind

And the tears that pour through the lids

Camouflaging the sorrow that extends beyond eternity

What do I have that I can call truly mine?

You think I have lost my emotions, all my feelings

You believe I don't care anymore

Not about the right things

Your words said in anger clash with my words bathed in hatred

It kills me, to feel this way

But yes, its true

I was supposed to look up to you

Instead you starting looking down on me

I lost you when I realized that I'd have to do without your support

What do I have that I can call truly mine?

She used to know me more than I knew myself

Familiar with every beat of my heart

Every thought of my mind

She became a shoulder, a tough one

When I broke down to pieces

She collected me up

She and few others, wanted to see me in one piece

Wanted me to be alive, happy, smiling

But what did I do that made all of those things come to an end?

What did I do to earn those stares

They tore me apart, the words they said

Yet, I had to show, I didn't care

I showed I can go without them all

And left my whole being, all of my happines behind...with them

I'm on a road, walking the bleeding steps

Never to retrace them back

For the past holds a handful of happiness

With an ocean of misery

No, I won't go back...

I'll have to find it again what I left behind

With my friends...

What do I have that I can call truly mine?

The human heart, it's so fragile

Vulnerable beyond limits, yet open to such dangers

It flutters knowing well that chances are

It'll land back on the ground

Bleeding and in a mess

Only to try once again

and again

and again

until it unites with the one it wants the most

But can I call him truly mine?

For he knows not what I think, what I feel

But only the way I talk and act

He never saw a tear streaming down my eyes

I put up a good show, a good enough disguise

What do I have that I can call truly mine?

I have the words, that dance across the screen

They were born out of desperation of my emotions

That needed to be let out

All boundaries failed, all limits shattered

As my hands glided down the keys

And the tears, down my cheeks

I try not to hear the shouts and screams

Push the tears back, no one will come to wipe them

The things that don't live, maybe they will hear me out

They have patience and an understanding one can only dream to have

But yet, a longing for comfort persists

Because the pillows, they don't hug back...

Author's Note

"feelin' blue...feelin' blue...feelin' blue...
My heart says it can't be, can't be true..."

Reviews

[chloe cruz]

... Oh my god... that was the most beautiful piece of poetry I've ever read... Wow... That made me cry, it felt so real. I could relate to it so much, the grief, the sorrow... the want for something to call yours, yet, you can't... This was so amazing... I loved it to pieces... Breathtakingly beautiful.

Chloe.

[mystic soul]

right.... really a good one... very well written.... i really liked it... awesome...