The Internet, the life

You'll never guess what it is

It's a harmless piece of paper

With printed matter

Words that seem so life-less

Yet, non can guess

How much pain they inflict

Thanks for my crazy and insane mind

It's not a break-up love letter

It's not a suicide note of my best friend

It's not another sad story

It's my internet bill

Yeah! You heard me!!

INTERNET BILL!!

So hilarious

So funny

So amusing it seems to everyone

Yet, no one guesses the pain that the same paper

Inflicts on me

No one notices the tears stains on my faces

When dad leaves my room

No one cares to ask why I won't behave normally

Around for a few weeks

No one understands

That I cry because of my stupid internet bill

How painfully amusing!!

 

It's all adding up

My low scores

My dad's ignorance

My mom's hatred

My own solitude

All adding up inside of me

And I can't fight it

Tears win over me

The pain crushes me down

And I spend hours alone

Crying and talking and hugging

Those invisible friends

And family of mine

Which seem to be the only reason of my survival

Oh! I'm going nuts!!

But nobody cares!

Nobody!!

 

I admit

I'm the worst daughter EVER!

My parents remind that everytime a smile steals over my face

 

Every good thing about my life is

Way too weird

Way too expensive

Way too good to simply come true

 

They're not just taking away the internet

They're taking away my life

They don't know

That the only reason I am still here

Is because someone out there

In this wide, wide world

Is reading my thoughts

That my real life 'acquaintainces'

Never really cared about

 

They don't realise that my virtual life

is why I keep on existing

For those friends of mine

Whom I've never met

 

No! They don't know a thing about me!

And they call themselves my parents!

Damn it!!

Damn it!!

 

Leave me alone!

Leave my internet alone!

Leave my computer alone!

Leave me and my life alone!!

LEAVE!!

Author's Note

It's a rant. I needed to get this out. M having a rough, rough time.Whatever I wrote here is true. I didn't exaggerate, I just typed whatever popped into my mind. I hope I'd soon calm down...
You read this, so I'm thankful...
Go easy as I'm not in a writing mood today!!
*sighs and buries her head in her hands*

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

God this is so nice,tell you the truth,i read it first ,few lines ,i thought it did not take to my heart ,but i came later and i just loved what i saw,oh yes i feel the same ,i have friends here,worth thousands times more than real life friends,i have seen love and care and sympathy from friends here ,sometimes brought tears to my eyes,and i i have not seen them or talked to them ,but we know each other thoughts,i became so addicted specially to this place because of you and many others dear friends, it became like obsession,i come home everyday and cant wait to open my page and say hello to dear friends here,it gives me joy it gives me hope ,you will never know how much...
i become harassed every day by some here,i even think of pulling out,but just for a second ,then i say no pain can be tolerated just for the sake of you dear and so many others ,i just cant leave ,i would like to see how they do every day,my wonderful friends ,i like to know about them,for they care a lot ,and i do care for them even more,so i say to myself no i will stay,these are wonderful thoughts dear ,just hang on ,the sun will always shine,there will always be a new tomorrow,you are young ,please have faith,i already wrote a poem in honor of you ...you still remember !!! ,i do ,at that time you were so sad too,but there will come times ,and you know we care ,and there will be another day ,another happy day,this is so wonderful thing you wrote here ,you are very special ,i will always remember you ,you are so special

[*Kantola*]

I had this day once... I'll never forget that day. >.<
ANYWAY MOVING ON!!!
Everyone has these days and it's okay to feel this way sometimes. I dont know a single person here who reads your writing that doesnt care! What kind of person would that be? (a heartless one!)
I've had that feeling so many times... "I'm the worst daughter ever." Then i get smacked in the face by reality, and realize that I'm complete opposite. Be who you are for now. You're 16, and you'll be off to college soon. (i think! xD) Once you're off to college you wont have to deal with your parents anymore. Also, think and act how you want to act. Dont care what others think: JUST BE YOUR OWN PERSON!
*sigh*
Emotions are so fun to have, aren't they? T_T

[Amanda]

we all have this kind of day sometimes...it may not be for the same reasons, but it is still the same. all i can tell you i s to hang in there, it is bound to get better.

Amanda

[chloe cruz]

I care! A ton. I can feel this sooooooooooooo well, and I'm crying right now just because thats how my life is. And people are always saying how I'm over reacting and I need to get out and see more in life. Or whatever. But do they even try to ask me why I'm doing whatever it is? Of course not! Does my mom ever ask to read one of my poems? No. Does she ever try to make me tell her something: Once again no, typical. *hugs you and cries too*