Moving up, moving down

Snother song I wrote... It's pretty confusing...

And it's a broken wing

That you see

Ignoring the wounds

Sealed inside

I try

To breathe

But you still

Don't realise

 

And today I vow

I will not cry

Life will move on

I just gotta try...

 

Moving up, moving down

Looking all around

All the happiness

It's too much to take

The people, the wind

Dazzle me now

Oh! It's feels so good....

 

As I try

To fly

You lift me up

Every time I try

I'm awareded a hug

 

And today I vow

That I won't give in

I'd fight to float

I won't sink in

 

Moving up, moving down

Love is all around

All the joy

Makes me smile

The sweet sensation

The feeling within

Oh! It feels so good....

Author's Note

I admit...
The write's pretty confusing....
But! *sigh* I just wanted it to be like that....lol
Go easy on me guys...^_^

Reviews

[alternative_be]

Now I wish I could sing! Reading this makes me sing in my head though! I cannot think of one reason this song does not make sense ... What I gather while reading along is, at first you are a bit down, but then your spirits get higher because you get in a good mood, seeing happy people...
Nothing wrong with that, it is good! You are not giving in ... well keep up that fighting spirit!
I do not know if you can read or write music, but may be you could try adding some notes under the words and I'll go looking for the old wooden recorder (flute) so I can play a tune.
This poem brings me in a good mood as well.
Could be an up temp song or a reggae tune!

[Amanda]

this is a really nice write, Siya...and it isn't as confusing as you may think. it does make sense and i agree with Melanie about this...you should let the reader decide how to interpret it.

you did a good job and i just love it.

Always,

Amanda

[Nely Amorim]

Siya, you don't give yourself enough credit, sometimes it's just important to give the feelings as your feel them and leave the interpretation to the reader as they please. This piece seems positive to me and I enjoyed reading it. well done @-->--