Pray for me

Not good...

One step

Just a step

That separates me

And my untimely death

Just one step

I have to take now

And all the pain will go away

All the sufferings

All the confusions

They will die

Along with my flesh

Which seems useless now

As I firmly believe

From what I see with my eyes

Nobody cares

Or do they?

They why do they leave me

In this hell of a world

Alone...

To fight something which is unknown to me

I don't know how to!

And I fall

And I get killed again and again

From the inside

I torture myself mentally

So that I can ignore the wounds on my skin

But the pain simply doubles

And I'm left hurting more than ever

So many sleepless nights

Where I've cried myself to sleep

asking myself

And the God within me

'What did I do to deserve this?'

"What did I do?'

But the questions are never answered

I look around

And can't help but get jealous to death

Looking at those smiling faces

Something which resembled me a few years back

When I was just a kid

I didn't worry myself with my grades

After all I was the top ranker

And now, my grades make me wanna shoot myself

Those were the days when I loved my family

And cared for my friends

Now I hate everyone

Above all, I hate myself

My body...so out of shape

My heart...so cold

My mind...so immature

My soul...so dead

My conscience...gone mute

My voice...never heard

My ideas...they've all died

My life...worth ending it all...

Can't say that it's my fault

I'm still a nice person

Get to know me

And you'll find out

Apart from the thousand mistakes I commit by simply existing

And the mistake of breathing

Come talk to me when I'm feeling good..

And I'll tell you who I really am

I flow like a wave...

It's just that I don't come to the surface too often

I just sit low and brood

But at times, I lurk outside due to curiousity

That's when you should spot me

And I'll let you know...

All you want to hear...

But until then

Just pray

That I won't plan to sit still

Or kill myself...

And that I'd make through this day

Which is like a heavy burden on me

Here's a humble request

Please pray for this lost girl

Who calls you her friend...

Author's Note

I guess, I've exhausted my so-called 'talent' of writing good poems..
Here's one more stupid rant....I feel like a 'rant queen'...grrr
Life...*sob*

Reviews

[Jasper]

Not a stupid rant at all. I suspect we have all felt like this at one time or another, when you just dont know the answers...in fact sometimes you dont even know what the questions are. Its a great snapshot of a tumultous time in life when the person in the poem (you?) is on that journey to find out what it is all about. Thought it was great.

[Ruby Moon]

a great piece capturing the feelings and emotions of all these
something that most people deny they feel
but then both the good and bad times are still part of us
things come and go all the time
i think this will be one of those pieces you can look back on one day,
smile, and say... i got thru that and i kind of glad i did as now i know how strong i am

^-^
i'll be around if you want to talk

[Fran Marie]

I hope this is just your muse ~ if not hang in there depression is so

much more treatable then it use to be, with safer and milder anti -depresison meds~

been in the place called depression many times myself.

praying for you~Fran Marie

[Helen Woodward]

Not stupid!!! Very good is what it is Siya. I hope it is fiction, for if it is not it is a concern to me.
This piece is filled to the brim with emotion and realism. I could feel the pain and frustration.
I hope you are well. Depression is hard to shake for anyone who has experienced the hopelessness and deafeatist thought patterns. You have expressed that very well...
Good for you xxx