I sway with the winds

Something new I tried...

I sway with the winds

Trying to keep up with my fellow birds

The Sun shining bright above me

The roar of the ocean beneath me, is easily heard

 

The beads of sweat

They glisten under the bright sunlight

Or drop down into the ocean waters

Or encourage me to not give up the fight

 

The exhaustion is over-whelming

And I’m left far behind

But I needn’t worry

There’s something in my mind

 

I leave myself loose

As I’m paralyzed

My weight pulls me down

And I’m in no hurry for a flight

 

After a second or two

The fatigue fades away

And the surface of water

Still seems miles away

 

The excitement of free-fall

And the serenity of the scene

Helps me fly all the more high

Know what I mean?

Author's Note

I admit it. I faced a problem in the last line.It doesn't fit but I had to rhyme it with the second line...hmm..
Apart from that...the poem ain't that bad (whoa! that rhymes)

Reviews

[Astrid Hamilton]

"WOOOOOOOOOOW! That's awesome!"

(is what I said aloud to the room; I'd say 'I promise', but you either will or won't believe me, and believe me, this is beautiful, your sway; all I can feel is the immense saturation of hope, longing; waiting in the abyss of a painting- frescoe which goes on forever, like the horizon the trees boughing silently to the dance, the love is real, I know what you mean, do I ever, sweat beads, I like that image, as if a woman's brow will never have penetrated that same satire just from the sweet sensations of lovemaking, a man in a field working hard, or both crying, then it is the same, but what am I saying besides nothing at all, but feeling this, entirely, you made me feel, as a poet should,
not a reader am I; but a receptor in your perception, and I perceive LOVE,
so thank you,
immensely,
for the gift that is you;

You are a beautiful tree, then.

"Know what I mean?"

[Dawn]

After a second or two

The fatigue fades away

And the surface of water

Still seems miles away

I LOVE this verse.....it's exceptional..
your right, the poem isn't bad at all, but I'm sure you could find a better word for mean..
maybe keen?
You can look at my notes for suggestions!

[kurrupted]

wow! this s**t (ooops this piece i meant) is the bomb, the stanza'a connect really good.
well the theme is multi-facet to me,but bottom line is great poem from a talented poet.

[Astrid Hamilton]

p.s.

I like the line and image that precedes,


"trying to keep up with my fellow birds"

-It is philosophy even in nature, creating wisdom, created bliss.