Why? Oh, why?

You need to read my first ever song!!!

I wake up..

To the melody of the birds

To the sweet sound of your heart

 

And I see...

The pretty colours of the sky

As my dreams pass me by...oh!

 

I can't seem to understand why?

This just feels so good

Should I hang on to it

Or should I let go...

 

I walk...

On the ever-so--green grass

That invites me and reminds me of what didn't last

 

I lie down...

And feel it tickle me hands

I know, you understand

 

Why?...Oh! Why...

This just feels so right.

Should I move on

Or should I hold it tight...

 

I can't seem to forget

Those beautiful moments

That din't last even a second longer

 

But if the impossible happens

And it all comes back

I will hold it ever so closer...

 

Do you know...WHY??

This feels so divine

These moments we now share for the eternity

And let our hearts fly

Yours and mine...

 

Author's Note

Ohk! I was singing it all along. It just started popping into my head and I wrote it down. Maybe I'll talk to some of my musician friends and turn this into a real song. For the time being, just tell me what did reading my work made you feel??...Just curious...^_^

Reviews

[~Wandering Soul~]

as i read it it seemed like it should be sung and now reading the authors note i was right lol
it is amazing
it describes the feelings of confusions at certain times in a relationship...well for me anyway lol
i really enjoyd this it was absolutely brilliant
great work
thnx 4 sharin
~wandering soul~ xx

[jen -- JG]

Well done for a first ever song.

You story line here is fairly clear to me. Not so much as a song of being caught between two lovers but more that while you are in love, you are caught up in the memory of a lost love and you don't know what to do. Hold on tight to the new love regardless or let it go before you get hurt again.

The last verse seems to say you are taking the chance and holding on - accepting the now and letting the future care for its self.

I like the ebb and flow of this

well done

jen-JG

[Pj]

Wonderful! Yeah by all means turn it into a musical piece!
Loved the last lines>>>
And let our hearts fly
Yours and mine...

Nicely done!

[alternative_be]

This is lovely and reads very naturally! I particularly like the end.
One false note though in this lovely song: 'That din't last' ... I know you can get things right and perfect, if you would review your work before posting it!
I would love to here this as a song though!

[Melaniespace]

i really like it it has alot of flow and thats most important in writing a song, any song. pop metal rap. i like how you let the words flow. it's as if inspiration had provoked emotion to become words.

[Wolfwind Words]

Uplifting with happy emotions and thoughts. The theme of a relationship was clearly evident. At the same time I saw the images of a happy little bird singing a song in the morning, then seeing a worm in the grass had to leave to catch it! Then the bird didn't know whether the tree and song were more important then eating the morning worm.

I think it would be wonderful put to music. A background musical sound would add to the lifting feeling and the emotional high this piece brought.

Nice work!

[kurrupted]

this piece of poetry is cool!, i love it, indeed it has a lyrical touch to it.
Relationship right?...while i was reading it, i thought to myself "wow! this should be the bridge and this the chorus...and this part should definitely be the second verse" but that's all my thoughts (it will be a pleasure to remix the lyric...will be the first remixed song befor it was even sang) lol
lovely write...and thanx for sharing

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Wow this made me feel happy!
I love it,
It's so beautful & there is true emotion in the words u use!

[Kitty]

This is awesome. I think it would make a really cool song. I'd buy the single to it... Really really cool!!!!!

Josie

[ToRnBaByB]

this poem is brilliant. I love the begginning! Great flow too.

[DeAn]

it is a great work and if it is a song, I think you should sing it out and record just your voice. see how you like it in sound and if your not too shy, post that recording here so we can hear the melody behind the words. it will open the song to the reader as it will render the melody to us exactly as you wrote it.

great job. keep it up.

l8r g8r
-Tao