My last moments

An IMAGINARY account of a teenage girl who killed herself over petty things

I lay there with my eyes closed, trying to feel every drop of medicine that flowed into my body, lost in the rhythm of the beating of my heart.There's not much to do when you're in the hospital.

I knew something was very wrong and I could feel myself rotting away with every second.Everyday someone or the other would come into my room to tell me how much they loved me and would advise me to keep faith.Some things are well left unsaid, but still they get known.Just like that, I knew there wasn't much time left.

I remembered people saying that when you're on the death bed, your life flashes in front of you filled with the minutest details.

Everytime my mom told me about those 'happy times', I'd find myself unable to recall those moments which according to my mum,I'd spent with her.

Each time I closed my eyes, I was not sure if they'll open again.But they always did.And I was granted on more day of life.

One night before sleeping I decided to remember some of my 'good times' before I sleep.I closed my eyes, not to sleep but to visualize.

After a while I saw myself leaning over the sink with eyes full of tears.I couldn't remember why I was crying, but it must've been really sad.I pushed the image away as I knew there were many such memories.I tried unlocking other memories from my mind.

I saw myself in my pre-teen years where I was one cute, chubby and happy child.I saw myself running over the grass, sometimes with my friends, othertimes all alone and feeling overjoyed.

I let the image fade away and saw another image of mine where I was sitting in the darkness of the night, all alone and sobbing my sorrow away.I tried very hard but I just couldn't push that image away.It was my last memory before I ended up in the hospital.

That day was truly the most horrible day of my life.Being scolded by both of my parents and then screwing up my grades at school doesn't seem much of a good reason to brood all night.There was a reason, or rather, the feeling of helplessness and being alone that was eating me alive that day.Before being scolded I saw, with tearful eyes, my parents fighting with each other.Somehow, it felt that they were fighting because of me.I remember running from both of them to the farthest room of the house where no sound could reach and I sat there for hours crying.The tears just spilled out and I couldn't stop them.All the time I thought of myself to be a brave girl, someone who doesn't cry but faces her problems with a bold face.But that day, everything got washed away with my tears.

The next thing I knew I was rummaging through the medicine box of my dad searching for those white pills he used to take.I didn't knew what they were and it really didn't matter.I just got a hold of them put them into my pocket and rushed back to my room to take my diary.'They should know why it's happening', I told my self.

For the next half an hour I lost myself in the world of my diary writing every damn thought and feeling and using as many bad words as could to let the frustration out.I hoped that the anger would fade away and I'd be okay.

But, as soon as I finished writing, I was seething with anger and disappointmeant; there seened only one way to end it all.

The next thing I remember, I was in the hospital with my crying parents.

They were saying something, perhaps they were apologising for what they had done.But I knew it was too late.I could've forgived them but I didn't.

One day, the doctor told them something which broke their hearts.I had it coming.'Oh! well, it's time for farewell', I said it out loud, trying to sound as calm as I could.Inside I was screaming as I knew that I didn't want to die.That one step I took out of despeartion had cost my life.I wanted to run up to my grandma who was sitting infront of my bed with tears flowing out of her eyes and forget all my worldly problems in her loving embrace.'Look what you did!', my inside told me,'your action has made you loved ones cry.You taught a lesson to your parents, alright, but look you fool!! The woman who loved you the most in the world, you grandma, you made her cry shame on you!'.I just couldn't reply.

The breathing became shallow as everyone gathered around me.I saw the familiar faces with whom I'd grown up.The looked different.For the first time, my parents held each other's hands and looked down upon me with an undying sorrow clearly visible in their eyes.I gathered up my courage to spit out my last words as I knew that I have to tell them.'I...I'm..', it was so difficult.'Yes, dear', my father leaned closer.'I'm sorry papa', I somehow managed to say.He didn't reply instead hugged me.My tears were bugging me as I couldn't see the faces of my mom and my grandma for the last time.

'Forgive us dear, please forgive us', my father was saying.I could hear mother crying in the background.I said to myself,'My time's up.'And ,eventually I drifted away into the eternal sleep where I had nothing to fear and my dreams finally came true....

Author's Note

This is my first story that I completed!! It's an accomplishment, oh yeah!! It took me and hour to finish it as I started crying when I was writing the last two paragraphs.I don't know if they're that emotional, but I had a hrad time writing them.Hope it came out good.And please, reviews must be of FOUR LINE OR MORE!!!(I don't like small reviews!!)And plz ingnore the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

Reviews

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

It was a great piece... but you need to space it out better it was hard for me to read and it does need some stuff corrected...

This piece was very touching, i feel that it was very emotional and you let the reader into the mind of the writer... Great job... not bad for being written in an hour....

[Lynx]

Congrats for the first story, lolz and I think my eyes had a pin prick of tear in them at the end.
But this could be made better if you had included more details, like how the hospital room smelled like, and the needle most likely sticking out of her hand.
Yeah, most of the people who kill themselves do it for a very stupid reason, some of them even do it accidentally coz they thought it was cool! Oh well, great job on this, ooh check out some of my stuff, lolz.

[jen -- JG]

First, congrats on completing your first story.

This was a good write.

You covered the main points of a good story. Where, What, When, Why, How and Who, as well as Cause and Effect.

For an imaginative story you have done very well.

Your story begins in the present, in a hospital and goes on to tell what happened. Why you did what you did and how you did what you did. You tell of your reasoning behind your own actions. You show the reactions of others around you, clearly showing how cause and effect can snowball.

You held a simple thought, a single action and delved deep inside the minds of all involved, right down to the deep regret right at the end.

While sad, this is quite a believable story.

Well done

Jen

[Dawn]

I literally started to cry! I was touched by this story. I can feel the parents' loss, and the dying girls.
My eyes started watering as I read the last two paras...it IS very emotional and tragic....good work!

[Pinky]

I very entrapping story... sounds like something tht happened to me but i didnt die at the end...
i was a dumb 15 yr old... neways your story reminded me of how i felt in the hospital... wow its really a great write! You have talent aswell.

[DeAn]

I agree with the others, it was a very emotional peice and besides the spacing and such as mentioned, I think you did a great job. I can recall my own childhood years, and I know that sometimes when we are just starting out in this world it can all seem so overwhelming. oftentimes we take a lot for granted, only to look back with regrets.
I tell a lot of teenagers, stop and look around, because what you do right NOW is what makes your life and memories when you get to be the adult your racing so fast to become anyway. if you are not careful and don't just enjoy it step by step, it can be ruined by rushing. Enjoy this time as a teenager my friend, don't you know it is what ALL of us parents and grownups fantasize about and miss so much? our Teenage years. :)

Right now, you are one of the luckiest girls in the world, and I know it may not seem that way to you, but ask any adult what they most wish they could do and you'll see the truth of this life. enjoy your childhood love.

it is a gift, that is why it is called the present. ;)

great job on the story.

l8r g8r
-Tao

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

I am amazed that you wrote this in an hour. Takes me almost as long to write the review. It is well written, very emotional, but it would be well worth the effort of spending another hour editing it. I don't think it's unusual to get upset when you write about death. I do; in fact I still get choked up over some of the things I've written. The only way you can express their feelings is to live the life of the characters you create. It's the reason I wrote a poem in memory of the characters in my novels.

[PhoeniX]

what a depressing piece.
a child seeing no way out of they're parents pain.
a sad reality to some.
i hope this wasnt an experience lived...

[maestro]

You have a very vivid imagination, I could feel the pain in the message being sent out like a "cry for help" And all too often this is how it is, I hate to hear about a child committing suicide when they have their whole life ahead of them..perhaps you have mixed emotions based on this story? I remember when I was young and feeling out of place, vulnerable and hopeless, but it's at points like that you have to remember to keep your chin up. Good work.

[Nely Amorim]

I struggle thru it because i don't read stories online, my mind wanders, poetry is all i review :) however it looked great.