Failure

Not my usual stuff, not even truly a poem from my collection.. it's just a free hand on how I feel

ive grown to love letters.
not long hand written notes,
alphabetical letters.
F, f*ck. I love F.
A, a glorious letter on it's own.
I, speaks for itself I believe.
L, U, R, E.
My favourite letters.
In ever fold of their making they create my definition
F.A.I.L.U.R.E...
I hush to myself millions upon quantrillions of times.
In everything I do, I can not succeed.

And all you dont cant understand is when you laugh, you joke, you say "failure"
I believe you.
I believe you in ways that arent humorous, or sarcastic, I believe you see me for the image I see when I look in the mirror.
You grow annoyed that I'm upset but to be mad is easier than to cry.
To cry in front of you. To show that you hurt me..
It's different when you arent the cause.. when it isnt you I can weep in ease. pour my every dagger tear out for you.
But when it's you that's stabbed my eyes the crimson burns and I let it.

I torture myself more than you know... and every comment hangs to my ears like weighted stones. "You're eating a lot lately" I'm fat.. "you look beautiful" because I dressed up today.. silence; I know you arent proud of me.

"I love you" is it because I fill a spot that's acceptable for now but eventually you'll find better?
I'm not jealous.. I know how glorious you are, I see what the others do. Yet you cascade the women you turn away in front of me... as though its a reminder that I'm replaceable.. and I'm sorry you see me that way. Because I see it too.

And theres nowhere I can run.. because I love you for the things you dont see, because you're irreplaceable. And I'm a failure, so I will love you, whilst I wait for my replacement..

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful twist of words. I love to read. I have paper and pen near. If a word catches my attention. I write down. Some words, more powerful than others. Make our mind dance and think. Thank you for sharing your amazing words and thoughts.
Coyote