"Last Stand"

This is something I wrote just now after being told the girl I was in love with was recently taken by some other guy...

“Damn it all you can't be serious with all this f*****g nonsense!?”

It was the same as usual I was texting my infatuation with loving lines and continuously winning her heart over with my “crude” humor.

Both the dark and the light but the spotlight just shinned and shunned me from the center of my inner being I felt so betrayed she just mentioned that she has a boyfriend all nonchalant as if I was in with the know like her loud giggly friends.…..

“When?!”

“What do you mean this past few weeks!?”

Seems the past month and a half I was away some new guy I don’t know the name to came towards her side,  just trampled all over the seeds I had previously sewn.

I have been just a boy-friend for this past couple weeks and had not realized I was already sidelined but I just didn’t quite find out yet , so would ya know it?

I continued to run thinking I would make it to that finish line, finally this time I would attain a win for my longing desire to not be alone, no matter how many friends I made and how much love I was given I still felt like I was on my own.

No one knew what I really needed or my wants and true needs….

“Damn it I think I'm bleeding!?”

My red organs strings have been strung and now I have found it caught up in the uneven beat rhythming a hollow sound lost and to never be sought.

You can not be for real did you really expect this to work out; I mean come on now you have got to be realistic just because she glows doesn't mean she will be on her own to be only yours alone the smile caught you by surprise so who says that it wouldn't for some other guy?

Not to mention this was a relationship that was not meant to happen it just would not fly and yes though my heart might have soared high it’s wings were made up of wax and just got clipped clean.

She lives miles upon highways away a whole different city practically worlds apart for any sort of actual continued sparks.

She threw me away…. She was the one who contacted me after I had not spoken to her for more than five months got my number from my cousin and said “Hello” “Hey” and “Hi” to say the least I was pleasantly surprised to have been the initiated rather the initial initiate.

“I never asked for this!”

Why do I have to be so angry just so pissed, she was the one who wanted me so how come I still got the receiving end on this love-hate trip!?

I think my old self is coming back to say “Hi” shower and shroud me with all of those empty lies dip my tongue in silver and say my infamous line.

“I’m Fine”

Translations are loose and display more tones that don’t match my own say hello to my clown mask and become a big joke.

Everyone is smiling why don’t you join them too and suffocate yourself silly in this glee?

Oh what a wonderful amount of happiness, I feel the madness consume me whole and now delightfully to say I am just a bundle of light.

Pay no heed to the red eyes I’m just high off of the euphoric atmosphere of all of these white lies and now suddenly I feel alright.

“I’m Fine”

Fake it till you make it but if you make it do you still have to be fake or is this now you forever till the end of your days?

Yes the joy is all I can see out with the bad in with the good, don't be mad be glad, don’t be sad get MAD!

My flames of pure rage will not die by some little white flower of “Whoopsie daisies, my bad” No it’s going to take a storm to make me calm and even then after the peacefulness you can eye only true destruction will take it’s place.

I’m not going to die damn it I thought I told “YOU” already I’m a Phoenix I can’t be dead!

No way to truly kill me I just continue to revive with help of my conviction and a bottle of self affliction.

“I’m immortal!”

Forever young inside no matter the wrinkled stress lines that shadow my face when things look grim.

You're the champion damn it you can’t go down the countdown has not yet reached the number nine, so get off your a*s and prove this is your throne!

“I’m Fine”

Think of it this way at least the answer came before you had to ask.

Now all you have to do is be a good friend, be the bigger man who will go under appreciated by everybody and travel the high road, yes take the coward's way out be someone who’s afraid of a little fight.

Don’t be scared of a little devious deviation after all why be a “Hero” when your such a better “Villain” your role is clear ,now just prove your in fact superior to her white knight.

No princess to save just one woman to take back or at the very least get some sweet payback.

So you can continue to spout the same nonsense about being “fine” and “alright” or you can show your not just some stepping stone with no back bone to stake a claim.

This war has just barely begun, no side has truly won so what’s it gonna be?

“I am not fine and far removed from being alright my chest feels tight and mark my words this is not some sport it’s going to be a blood fight”

The champion will stay to continue that fight this phoenix won’t say goodbye and that clown mask can take a damn hike I don’t need it’s monotonous monotone lies.

“This is my last stand”

Author's Note

Sooooo.... uh yeah what did you think.... pardon my language I was very heated in the moment.

Reviews

[mercy party]

Loved the dialog approach. Phoenix reference at the end. The Phoenix obtains new life from rising from its own ashes, The author's young Phoenix might have other intentions to rise from the ashes of another. there is a lot to analyze and listen for here in your poem. If i were you i wouldn't start a war. I would sleeplessly find success, the best revenge. Don't burn yourself down. Keep writing, you are good at it.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thank you for reading this Mercy Party and glad you liked it and thank you for the praise on my talent.

P.s. The war is more of a slight nod to the saying "All's fair in love and war"

Sincerely,Sir_Anonymous

[Njeri Brooks]

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

I can't quite recall who said that, but this piece really made me think of that quote.

With that being said, you did a pretty good job with expressing the mc's shock at the loss of something that could've been.

In addition to that, the line "Fake...end of your days" really carried a spark to it. I can't say I've ever asked myself that question, but I would assume the faking would come to an end when you feel enough distance and numbness from the whole situation.

"No way to truly kill me...a bottle of self affliction" was another line that caught hold of my attention. Everyone has their vices, but I hope the mc's "bottle of self affliction" was tasty.

Also, I like how you make everything connected by giving out allusions to some of your previous work.

[Sir_Anonymous]

This MC is me thus the "Phoenix", "Champion" and the "Clown Mask" we're all about my different personas when writing about love...

The "Phoenix" does not give up and will not let his feelings die.

The "Champion" is a fighter and like the "Phoenix" will not give in till the bitter end.

The "Clown Mask" is my Class Clown Side of things where he bottles up everything inside and hides behind his smile and jokes being the one who gives up and just shrouds the pain with laughter.

Sincerely, Mr. Rose

[Njeri Brooks]

***sigh*** I know the mc was really you. I just didn't exactly know how to say what I wanted to say with sounding like I'm taking pity on you or crap like that.

Well, all I can really say is that the road to success is flooded with ridicule. That's even more so true when it comes to love...

Nice to see you writing again Mr. Rose.

[Njeri Brooks]

Without*** sounding like

[Sir_Anonymous]

Lol it's only been at least four days since my last creation.

Guess it felt longed?read moreLol it's only been at least four days since my last creation.

Guess it felt longed?

Sincerely,Sir_Anonymous A.K.A
Mr. Rose

[Njeri Brooks]

LOl I guess it's just been pretty boring.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Yeah well college and various other things had me preoccupied for those day's.

Sincerely, Mr. Rose

[Njeri Brooks]

Yep, that's what life does.
...good thing I don't have one yet (well, aside from school, work, and planning out the next 5 months, which will decide the next 4 years.)

How is college? Do you like it?

[Sir_Anonymous]

It's "fun"

[Sir_Anonymous]

And those stupid textbooks made me broke as hell so all I can pay for is about one meal at McDonald's and I despise McDonald's.

[Njeri Brooks]

Hmmm, and the starving college student unveils himself. But don't you have to sign up for a meal plan or something?

P.S. You could rent some your textbooks from Amazon for months at a time. I've been told that it's a lot cheaper.

[Njeri Brooks]

some**of**your

Also, at least you spent your money on something worth it.
lol, someone once told me that "it's okay to be responsibly broke." ;)

[Sir_Anonymous]

I don't like renting things as I can't guarantee they will be in good condition when the I'm done renting them so I just bought them on Amazon.

If I lived in a dorm at the college then yes but I don't so I have to just feed my own self without a plan.

Sincerely,Mr. Rose

[Njeri Brooks]

Hmm. I gotcha, but why the hate for Micky D's?

[Sir_Anonymous]

It's more unhealthy than eating nothing but ramen for a week straight and also the burgers are sweet for some reason and I detest sweets it just makes me feel sick looking at them and eating them makes me cringe except milkshakes there is always room for a shake.

Sincerely, Mr.Rose