"Her Mind"

What's on it? I want to know but can't muster the confidence to try to ask.

What right do I really have to feel this amount of suspicion for a girl I'm not even seeing?

Yet when I see her on the phone texting some other guy I can't let my fight or flight instincts die.

I just gotta get this question off my chest before I try to make myself forget but never give it a rest.

Is there a window of opportunity left open for me maybe at least a creek?

Or should I just lay down and play dead and let ya trample all over my befuddled head?

Was I just being strung along?

Cause she sure knew how to pull my heart's red string with each tug she seemingly makes it's just that bittersweet sting.

Darling please would you clarify would you draw the line so I know where to stand?

Honey be a doll and tell me yes or no it would truly help though one response would truly hurt and please don't let it be so.

I need to hear you speak cause I'm no telepath.

Hun I may be able to read between the lines but I can't fathom what's on your mind. 

Though I may be able to read the current mood by looking into your eyes I sometimes can't see past the lies.

You've called me petty in a loving tone and I've dubbed you as pretty in monotone and though you've called me cute or adorable I still don't know how ya feel.

Though what I do know is every woman who ever held my breath made me feel silly and I was just putty in their hands.

I'm aware this will play havoc on my mind till I get a definitive answer but I guess through all of my brave bravado there lies a coward.

Author's Note

This is one of the poems I wrote back in my junior year of high school.

Reviews

[lostnstars]

This writing has been in my bookmarks (no idea why) for a long time and i just checked this now and I'm not even disappointed or confused why i put this in my bookmarks on the first place.

I love this poem a lot, the way you express the words and what you're trying to say is simply amazing. I love how you ask a lot of questions because you can't figure her out that's why you end up just wondering. Lastly, my favorite line is, "You've called me petty in a loving tone and I've dubbed you as pretty in monotone." I smiled when i read it and i read it again for a few times, i ain't even mad.

Please keep on writing, you're amazing!
-lostnstars x

[Sir_Anonymous]

Ah, yes. Well it would seem this review has been on hold for a rather long time too, haha. Deeply sorry about that, Loststars. I was on hiatus on this site for nearly two years. I still continued to write within those two years, just didn't post them. I'll try to fix that.

I am rather happy that you've enjoyed this poem and I find it wonderful to know that, that line in particular got appreciated by you. Hard to believe that I was once in love to this point in my youth (that was years ago, though I'm only twenty I feel so old, haha) but I am happy that I was otherwise I'd never have written this. Once again sorry for the vastly late reply and I hope you'll continue to read any of my future work's I shall post upon here.

Sincerely, Sir_Anonymous

[lostnstars]

It's all good, i had to read your writing and my review as well to remember 😂
Atleast you were in love, i'm 20 as well-haven't been in love because i'm way too complicated to deal with haha
Anyway, I'm glad that you're online now and hopefully you'll post more poems because i'll surely read them :)

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thank you for being so understanding. Yes.. love is something I'm rather foreign to now at this point of my life. Mind you I mean the boyfriend/girlfriend sort as I am definitely loved by my family and perhaps a few close friends. Indeed, I am aiming to eventually post all of if not all of my work here someday. Though that'll be awhile considering the count is beyond 250 at this point, I may even just be in the 300 range too for all I know, haha.

[Njeri Brooks]

It hurts to be lead on, and what not many people realize is that it not only hurts but also wastes a lot of time that could have been spent on someone else.

Being lead on is something that I have experienced on the receiving end, and I am ashamed to say that I've also inflicted it.
(though not on purpose)

The lack of communication causes so much stress, but one should be honest early on in the relationship.

This will also lead to a lot less mixed signals.

That way it'll hurt less in the long run.

But it seems like you experienced a long drawn out situation. Maybe she lead you on for fun, or maybe she really cared about you in a platonic way.

Either way, you are not a "coward". Not wanting to get hurt is a smart, logical reaction.

Obviously, this is a really personal poem, and the fact that you shared it (even with the passage of time) makes you a lot stronger than others.

But then again... everyone has multiple sides to their personality.

This really reminds me of another poem that I will send to you later.

[Sir_Anonymous]

I'm looking forward to it ;-)

Also I know I'm not a coward but I just write and when I start writing without thinking too much and just going with the flow I don't question what I wrote and leave the ending as it is unless there is something else that irks me.

In this case I saw "Brave bravado" and "Coward" as the more impactful way of ending it.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thus didn't question the ending I had made.