"Only Now"

this is about how after years or months I start to see all of my lost opportunities and people I turned away from because at the time In my mind I thought I was alone and clouded my self in that lie.

Man hindsight is a harsh realization that brutal moment of clarity where you find the right choice to a old tragedy that only now you know it could have ended happily but sad to say the present is now the past is then no way to change what has already reached a conclusive end

Yet still though I've known this hard fact I still can't seem to get myself to sit still and clean up this overused act this pointless tradition I continue to embrace.

Where I look into the mirror and see my pitiful face so lifeless and at a loss of energy wondering where my life is cause I feel out of place keep going over the road I traveled once before because I know I'm at a loss in direction.

I didn't actually know the consequence just marched on the old beaten path though I had choice more so than once to turn back.

Here Is where the beginning of this depressing monologue finally will hold meaning cause only now after more than two years have passed I see the correct way to go.

All over again I twist and turn the thought around see I should have went left instead of right and use more than just my gut I should've put thought on where the path would lead how it could possibly end badly.

I at the time thought I was cornered with no way out…I felt like I had no one on my side but that could not have been more further from the truth cause to truly be honest I had so many opportunities too many I can seem to count.

So much support that I subvertly turned down due to stupidity and pride hell one could even argue they are synonymous just one and the same.

I find myself to be the only one to blame just bursting in tears from guilt and now I just want to find myself from the past and tell him to stop and look at his bright surroundings make him realize the world does not have to always seem so dull.

The reality that he was never right just thinking how wrong he always…. no how I was…. thinking myself the final say and all I did was correct and justified couldn't be any more glorified even if I tried.

All those old friendships I threw away can not be mended because like I said in the exposition the present is now and the past is then but only now I have the answers when it no longer matters.

Author's Note

Leave what you think please.