"Today"

I wrote this one on my 18th birthday... Where I was fresh out of highschool and college was about to start but prior a week before my special day I and my family found out my father has cancer.

I can't seem to make myself sleep maybe because i am so jittery for this one specific day i feel so out of place don't quite feel like my actual age.

But it's a fact written on a stone page that i am in fact at my coming of age sometimes i just blink in a post astonished haze… i feel like i was just thirteen yesterday and i just woke up to a short dream where suddenly i am eighteen.

People hold mixed views on the very concept of time itself either being long or just short but it ain't quite so black and white but there is still no wrong or right it's all a matter of the mind the same perspective will not always be shared in how you view the ever changing flux of life

… out of school to just go back at a higher level of a new placement to show me off on a gilded pedestal. Finally managed to pick my self esteem off the floor just to have the disprivilege to have Learned some news that put my chipper demeanor in a sour mood.

To only get filled to the brim with a newfound feeling of anger and pain punched the wall again in a fit of rage.

Had to do something to cool me down it felt too awkward to confide in someone. I didn't want to make a emotional scene so much is happening all too quick far too fast don't know how my inner mind will last.

Bad news is all i recall why was i born to be bred as a unsocial negative recluse? … haven't got a clue let alone what to do walls are closing in on me i can't find the escape this all is too real it seems so fake.

Guess the feeling never sunk in and each internal meltdown made me feel like i was about to fall and just crumble in a pityme of self loathing pain.

But today is today so tomorrow will be another new day i will get through this sudden change eventually.

Someday…maybe not sunday maybe not monday... Someday… just not today.

Author's Note

Please comment what you think... Even a simple "It's good." or " I like that." is enough... Thank you

Reviews

[Njeri Brooks]

I feel like this was one of the most emotional poems you've written. The atmosphere was very concrete with instances of both elation and dread.

Although romantic love is fun, platonic/familial love could last more than twenty lifetimes.

As you depicted in the sentence "had to do something to...confide in someone", it can be extremely hard to bring others in on the personal pains that trouble us.

I can sympathize with that sentence so much, and a lot more with the entire writing itself.
No matter how much I may claim to have "no filter", there are certain things I will never have the guts to say....

Things I will never reveal to anyone. Especially to those who are closest to me.

...These things are what will warm me with cold company in my grave...

In addition to that, when you said "all too real...seems so fake", I really could feel how much you didn't want to believe in what had happened.

However, you make the poem end on a hope-fulled note. It communicates to the audience that you have come to terms with your cruel, callous reality. Also, you hint in the last two lines that you will over come it "someday." And while that "someday" may not occur immediately, you tell the audience that it Will come to pass.

I hope that is the case because life is beautiful, and nothing makes people realize that more so than a funeral.

You are an intellectual guy with more personality than those who just sit and boast. Your writing is constantly dancing to the shape of the future you, so please continue to write.

P.S. I am excited to graduate too! I only have 4 months left!! ;)

P.P.S. Sorry if I sounded like a Debbie Downer throughout the majority of this review....

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thank you you for reading this one it means a lot...

I'm glad you think I've got more personality than most.

Yeah when I first heard the news I was thinking "Oh hahaha doc. Now give us the real news."

I am still not doing a whole lot better but I am getting better.

My birthday's must be cursed or something...(More about that later)

My poetry tend to have that cheerful tone yet the words don't match it.

I am just that kinda of writer it seems and aside from that you were not a "Debbie Downer" for no reason after all the full reason why I wrote this was because I was suddenly Depressed and Confused and questioned my own mortality worried that history will repeat again.

Sincerely, Mr. EMOTIONAL

[Njeri Brooks]

Well, Mr. Rose, I have noticed the happy tone/sad meaning disonnace in your writing.

Surprisingly, It makes it intriguing. It's like a song with a happy go Lucky beat but dark a message.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Yeah I don't know why I do that really I guess I'm just snarky when it comes to my life conflicts.read moreYeah I don't know why I do that really I guess I'm just snarky when it comes to my life conflicts.

Sincerely, Mr. Rose

[Cacho]

All I have to say is that I feel really related to this it hurts.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thank you is all I have to say... All I really can do no one really wants to bring up things that hurt them in someway so like I said Thank You.