"Thought Provoking"

Just me and my A.D.D making me question what is real... No big deal.

Another day another page in the chain of volumes about me trying to change , another paragraph of just yet another failed attempt in trying a game of conquest.

Staring into the looking glass ; always seem to have a mountain of questions to ask. Sometimes i can't tell whether i was too hasty or was I a little too easy and each small movement was being telegraphed.

Can you see me? Not for what i am doing but for i am underneath? Suppose you say yes what then? is true me too real for you to try to keep?

An animal being caged a ferocious ferocity of a great beast someone so emotionally crazy that he has to push himself beyond all belief and any third party interference would be beneath what he stands for a man who needs to feel some pain to continue the fight in living.

Another “accidental” cut to see if he could still bleed another close shave to feel a little more real because sometimes you feel the need to set a bar a higher standard to make sure you are not still just dreaming.

All this time in my life i could instead just be tossing and turning in a comatose sleep i might not even still be eighteen just in a hospital room stuck waiting for the plug to be cut all this fear accumulated in a flick of a wrist.

Don't know how much longer i can continue to resist just to persist by fooling myself in a stoic tough guy act… all these things to think and i don't know what to say to this convoluted thought process too much on my mind's sealed vault where there is no entrance of access just a emergency exit in case i need to flee and bury a bad memory six feet deep.

All this deep sea thinking is making me sleepy but i feel so much more awake the more and more i think upon all these conspiring conspiracies making me alert and a little more uneasy… who am i really?

Still trying to find my face now life feels like one big race just a panicked shuffle resulting in a scuffle for anything but last place just a eternal struggle in the grand game of life… but hey maybe that is just me? What do you think?

Author's Note

leave what you thought.