Lost Brother

The first of many

You trusted me with everything;

You trusted me with your all.

You made me a fortitude,

A place without the walls.

You helped me with my troubles;

You helped me to stop the show.

You gave me a place to stay,

When I had nowhere to go.

We began to grow closer;

You started calling me your brother.

My family adopted you in,

You called my mom your mother.

Then I broke the trust;

I broke it with my sin.

I shattered everything,

With the things I had hidden.

You've heard enough I know;

So I shall stop talking.

Meaningless words will cease,

As I start by walking.

My heart is heavy; 

I can write no more.

My prayer I pray,

Our friendship be restored.

Author's Note

This is the first of probably many dealing with my regret and losing a friend that was a brother.

Reviews

[Marie]

THis is very sad indeed. I hope eventually things turn out well for you.

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you very much. How is the composition of the piece?

[Marie]

It isn't terrible. But it isn't as good as it could be. If you're writing this sort of veryse, you heed better scanning, and I can't help you with this. However there are poetry sites on the Internet, and you can learn it.

In the third verse "sin" does not rhyme with "hidden." In the last verse "more" and "restored" do not fit. I know many other poets on this site do this, but they have not asked me about their composition, and I do not give suggestions without being asked.

[Sir Joseph]

Ahhh thank you so much! I will try to work on it for future writes!

[quinfinn]

it happens....i lost a friend of 40 years to a betrayal..an unforgivable one. life simply goes on. nicely expressed.

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

It flows really nice, I can feel your regret especially in the last stanza. Sometimes we get hurt more with people closer to us, but perhaps with time he will forgive and become a friend again.

Good Job

[Sir Joseph]

My prayer is he does. And thank you for the review

[Sir Joseph]

Glad you liked it:)

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You're welcome, sometimes people just need time and know that you are truly sorry...but idk

[keyvan]

beautiful....

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you.

[keyvan]

your welcome