Turn off the phone

A Story by Siobhan Welch

Turn off the phone and leave it off. No one wants to talk to me. Some want to talk at me. Some want to hear themselves talk at me. Others talk so I can absorb their self-loathing and free them, for a minute or two. Others want to describe a world I’ll never know. Some want to berate me for not knowing that world. Some want to tell me how to feel, but since I can’t, they won’t be calling anymore. Some want to complain about one thing or another, but it’s a monologue. Some want to tell me to eat s**t and die.

When the phone rings, it’s a call to war and I’m the hostage negotiator. I never know which war they’ll stir inside me, but it’s certain I’ll battle it alone. The phone rings when someone has wants. It only accepts incoming calls. Outgoing ones go unanswered. I quit doing that a long time ago. There is a world of nothingness out there. Someday, I’ll reach it.