Dandelions (A Light In Darkness)A Poem by R.J Calzonetti Something I had fun writing. Dandelions (A Light In Darkness) 0. Edge Of The {Heavens/Sky[And-Earth]} It-was-beautiful-I-wish-you-could-have-seen-it-{the-way-I-did/the-way-it-was/the-way-I-saw-it} The-way-things-were;-forgotten[the-rusted-bells-of-an-abandoned-church-still-chiming-into-dull Labyrinthe-nothingness]{like/back/once/lost/just}{that/then/before/again/this}We-were-[angels] Beautiful;-once crushed like a butterfly-smeared-across-chalk-faces-[lamented-at-crack-of-dawn] By the bittersweet scotch blossoming wind-dahlia-duvets-drape-discombobulated-days-drained Dense-deforestation-weaving graffiti cedars Elysian ecru beacon leaf terpsichorean-camouflaged-gardens Trees Eden unpeeled cathedrals’-arboretum Congealing helix tarnished stitch Phoenix eclipse shapeshifting Lithium depths sketch Incandescent crescent Lethe sceptre Hydrangeas bliss precipitation Creation grey constellations lace[d] inhalation Wastelands amethysts branches Amaranths anchored handkerchief ether onomatopoeia Sunsetting edifice ebony poinsettia Emerald medals tendrils enveloping Leaden petals unravelled battalions Babylon psalm pond andromeda camouflages’ dawn Tawny autumn cauldrons transmogrifies eye ivories kaleidoscope opal Styx photosynthesis lithium chrysalis glyphs abyssal viscus crystalline gardens cardinal canaries alstroemerias Sol Exfoliating misshapen acreage Painting variegated creation Creamy weaves evening’s breeze seamstress Hieroglyphics’ picturesque vessel Orchestral blitzkrieg mistral Visceral thistles gild willows Lamp chrysanthemum blanketing Antlers fur dampened plant blanche Caressing etching effigies Outstretched text tress depths zephyrs Undressing recollection festering Bethel test deathless crests unbested Speckling sepulchre crepuscular Fresco gold embroidering Smoulder orbits pandemonium Unfolded roads coiling foliage Fleury oranges corduroy ointment Magenta entrails azaleas bibles Writhing islands ivories transmogrifying Spiderweb thread of penitentiary Flaring arid germanium alstroemeria Valkyries weave gelatinous Tapestries green eden acrylic spilling Cerulean pillow guillotine Terpsichorean teas leaves Empyrean ceiling Spiralling Gaia twine Formaldehyde sunlights White lichen cypress Outstretched biomechanical Avalon chiffons bottomless Columns metamorphosing forest Corridors ore phantasmagoria Gorges fleury orchid torching Amorphous porcelain quartz Ecstasy’s phosphorescents Blessing bethels paisley haloes golden Sol Trellising velvety meadows falsetto Shredded evanescence dress malfeasance
“{But/and} long before having hurt” “I’d send the pain below” “I’d send the pain below” “Much like suffocating” 1. In Darkness, Dandelions, Butterfly Rooms
Life pushed me over the dark-edge-of-nihilism; There was nothing left to do but fall Story after story after story I remember the words that now forget themselves [Dressed raked (falling out of place,-peonies-shrivelling-into) One eyed (wide)] and [hollowed] Follow their black anathema {Rorschach/wax/masquerading} path Across empty pages [contagious refraining paisleys sable halos mosaic braided (mazes of clay)] Back through the {meadows/colours} of my egotistical youth Finding there The words are of little use Baubles immaterial forgetting their distorted reflection, now they come [Across the gilded plains the gulf of ignition] [Fuels the incoherent condition of an irreversible irrelevant sun] Much the same-darting-through-my-mind Silence echoes speech And speech Ends in the same way it begins; {borrowed/echoed/whispered/mimicked/mentioned/shackled/mangled} By another(‘s) {mouth/memory} Waiting for an answer (Born) among (the) silence This stillness [That I have become (Enveloped in this solid gold hate; Painting congregations laced in maples aether sainthood)] [Slithering calligraphy] [In the plume of aluminum winds] [Singeing infinity] Candlelit eclipse shapelessness Bliss ripples imprisoned ribboning lindens [Crystalline aureate thistles Whistling tinging oblivion] A light in (the) darkness [( This outstretching mourning shadow] That everything becomes) Unraveling under crystal hieroglyphics; Pitch eclipses lithium abyss Stitch viscous nickel mithril into bloom fumes parachute Bobbing like a buoy Among the deep abyss Drowning in all That I {am/have-become} {Divided/alone} Life pushed me over the edge; there was nothing left But darkness I am the sun Climbing th(ese infinite) stairs (Just to fall [again]) [Reflected in the waters (That cast me alone, adrift)] [(Below the papyrus horizon Spidering its way emblazoned)] [(Into this monochrome Collage of black and white)] A bent match in tornado winds; tarnished pit Like dandelions; sweeping {across/under} {The/empty} fields of grey clouds [(Leaving the seeds of their ego lost within the {dirt/pitch})] [(Reaching at the moon)] Is it not {human/beautiful} Is it not {justifiable/fair} that I might do the same? [(I’d thought, {I’d-like-to/that-I-might} do the same)] There was no light So I remade my reflection, for you brother, for you So (that) you might see, (what) I {see/(had)-imagined} with my centrifuging nostalgia [In my own image, in my apathetic struggle,] A reason To be {Or/to} cease to be [To welcome the depths Of death’s life with open arms] Persimmons pointing their Angry fingers at the dark As the sun slithered like A snake across white canvas [And climbed out of the shadow The hot glint of steel-molten] Is it not {human/beautiful} {useless/purposeless} Is it not {futile/impractical/vain} that I might do the same? That I might do the same; cherry blossoms shrivelling in a wind of velvet night; wishing only {for/to} bloom Shaping echoes with echoes All of them With nothing left to do but fall apart [({In/on})to] the dirt that feeds them With nothing left to do But battle against {their/inevitable} fate Alone, untouched, unspoken to Men and women plummet Like fallen leaves rusted by the rain Decomposing on the ground To rejoin the earth made eternal [({Born/playing-god})in the dark With no real need for light] [(Blind to the music of it all, deaf To {all/the} {vibrant/acrylic} colour)] Rising like the rusted steel sun; All cast iron and porcelain, all egg yolk and meat As if (the) shadow {couldn’t/hadn’t} {Speak/spoke} of them by name #As if the world didn’t hide them from the radiance of sun# [Like Gaia did Uranus (and Rhea from Cronus)] Born within their light An ocean Of pure, infinite void Dreaming of (only just to be) grey again; tranquil, one One moment stretched out beyond The [dull] warped frame of a second Threaded between traipsing seas, Trees weave seamlessly beading Golden gladiolus corona exfoliate Shapelessness interlacing Constellations transmogrifications Abyss whisking cliffs hickory Honeyed sunlight Tumbleweed peeling ethereal Peach steeple wreaths of ecru Sickled eclipse phoenix Photosynthesis’s rift glyph stitches pitches Bristling whiskey pixies eucalyptus Depths’ nectar crepuscular sepulchre Vessel orchestral bethel deafening etch phosphorescently Cedars surge with the wind of Armageddon, feather Tethering the brushing deconstructing, Rusty percussion; custard blur The black fingers painting the alabaster walls I am Such is the way things are Crystal abyss shapelessnesses flickering pit Nyx’s Lethe cistern A portrait to nothing, (brother) A mural of null Reaching out like mountains of black woods, #Coals of garnet staring out of a gouged socket# [(Here {I/it} {am/is})] A final tempest warped into the etchings of Ulysses Into whittling weathered flutes; Crackling red sunsetting nebula Arms entangling bangled weave Into loathsomeness Into theatrics Into naught But the morning sun A stepping stone {drowning/somewhere/new} In the {cork/torching/porcelain} sky Champagne oasis Painted namelessness Tarnished abyss Silver pillow wilderness frescoed Embroidery golden ores corneas As the seconds crawl forward Through the [red] gloom of every hour As the peoples walk [endlessly transient] One through open streets of [Untransformed (dis)-tranquilities], Uninterrupted static, [Cold beacons foghorns of one] Unintelligible noise [blaring into The distance; hyperventilating Life like an echo of something {young/new}] The impression of their touch; {Faded/graffitied/washed-out} Rippling on the surface their meaningless Existence could not (hope to) scratch Clinging to mediocracy To overindulgence To self-codling Tailing, swimming through Dim doored disillusionment Binging on Nihilism; that which (That) they {represent/are/become} Effigy alone like shrapnel Can you pierce my heavy heart? Crowded in enamel clouds of amalgam Pushing and pulling, waxing And waning into elastic waves Of pavement bent gems blend Resin parthenogenesis; cemeteries alstroemerias Crashing against the rock-face constellation Lacing creation’s aether; Grasslands fan(ning) lavenders Ambergris crystal thistle Monolithic stitchings [Chiffon drawn mahogany Gauze polymerize tides of rhinestone] Falling upon each other Like a house of (playing) cards; [(Toppling ochre apotheosis Sol’s exfoliating gates crochet halo)] Coronas pandemonium frescoed orb Gorges polaroid coiling corduroy [Thrones gladiolus posies Rosemary canaries clovers] [Folding Asmodeus rosé Pandemonium gold shoulders, stout mountains] [Carmine limes winding dimes Cyan bramble candlelit abyss] [Chardonnay glazed champagne maelstrom Frescoes phantasmagorical torch chlorophyll] [Orchards metamorphose gorges Sol aurora mooring forests etch, Porridge coral pearlescent Metempsychosis contorting torrent orb florin] [Brown boughs amalgam flowering Galleries of green Methamphetamine weaved phoenix] Pitch lithium cistern blistered visceral eclipse [Shapeshifter glyph precipitate Hollow squall polymerization Constellations transmogrification] Chandelier piers immaterial Ethereal peeling ceilings fields cerulean Lavenders splatter stratosphere Flannel attic Babel’s tattered avarice Ferry monasteries of heresy Barren paradises [(Vice gripping cliffside cisterns Hugging two round city blocks)] Vinyl kaleidoscope roping cloak [Ichor psychedelic umbrella Melding eldritch parhelion dawn blonde] [Centrifuge jewelry aluminum Pewter blooms luminous crypt twist] Arrases blossom terracotta Volumes plumed rutabaga latticed eclipse Formaldehyde Gaia pines vinyl Kaleidoscope sky caramelized iris Calcified diamond asylum Photosynthesized spires unwinding lilac black Camouflaging lager autumn Obelisk whisked hieroglyphic visceral crystal Coal gladiolus polaroid golden Embroidering foliage coronas’ totem [Aspens assemblage bronze Almond gauzes constellations Discombobulated transmogrification] [Lace of raked defibrillation Painting acreage ridges prism] Awakening dreamer dressing Thought in rivers of consciousness Stem the flood covers of watercolour thunder ruddier Than the infinite vista A light in darkness [{Goodbye/brother} (in a way)] {You/I} {are/am} {still/the} {here/same} Bumming it out {Straggling/stranded-on} the edge, [of hope] Hanging from the tree Fallen leaf Angel to the ground [Walking with the skeletons lost in the closet] [(Somewhere in the bombshell of my heart)] I tried [so hard (to make you notice)] [I tried (to believe) so (very, indifferently,) hard;] alone Looking for an answer I wasn’t meant to find
“Little whispers, the little dreams” “Just do what you do, what you do” “What you did to me” “Now I'm stuck in between a rock and nowhere” “With nothing, with no one”
“Am I wrong?” “Have I run too far to get home?” “Have I gone?” “And left you here alone?” “Into the flood again” “Same old trip it was back then” “So I made a big mistake” “Try to see it once my way”
“I've been crawling in the dark” “Looking for the answer” All {I’ll/I/I’ve} ever {love(d)/knew/known} Has (gone and) passed me by Dandelion seeds before winter Disappearing (passing insignificantly) Into {the/distant} [(omnipresent Monolith of stagnant)] night; (Buried {beneath/charcoal/dusk}) [(What is the reason for this?)] Walking through the bent frame of a second Between the dotted line of a sentence, Voids ending in a teardrop ink period, of blackness Left with no{thing/faith-[n(or)]/serenity} To {hold/cling} (on)to {With/where/not} even [the (same)] Dry wind, dead grass, ({or/maybe}, a [forked] fleeting memory) [({Weaving/gathering} round the sidewalk)] [{Has/have/(with)-whatever} ({already/still/not-yet}) come(s) to pass] [(And)] To {greet/guide/bring/take/say} {me-(home)/goodbye}
2. Like Dandelions
[I wanted to call my anger God’s anger, {Just/and} to make it (something of) my own] [(To make my suffering their suffering)] [(Just {like/as} they did to me)] [(I {see/know} better now)] [({Their/our} lives are pointless)] [(Like dandelion seeds in the wind, Withering into incoherent nothingness)] (Charles Bukowski on death) “Most peoples’ deaths are a sham. There’s nothing left to die” Love From hate, faith from betrayal White from black, Black from white Time has {little/no/forgotten/feigned} {Mercy/merit/us/irrelevance/ignorance} {I/we} remain in a limbo of {Fleeting/ephemeral} memories {A/hundred} shade[s] of grey ocean You don’t even know Monochromatic polaroid photograph waxing crashing rapids gelatinous {fractal/shrapnel} A reflection of reflections A dream Pieced {together/from} {broken/splintered} {Shards/bits} [of {glass(and)/wood}] The shackles of my beautiful memories [Droplets of black sanity; Cruel seeds of (a forest’s) remorse] Echoing the {same/mere} {echo/image} And an infinite {nightmare/reality} of nothing {One/stretching/transmogrified} [{Word/apart/together}] {No/or} {one/nobody} Dreaming ourselves inside out A light in darkness [Leaking through glyphs abyss mithril Gilded swilling {silver/silhouette}] Fringing [out into this ({unwanted/unwelcoming})] Oblivion [that {I/you/we} {am/are/were}] One or the other Neither here nor there
“Pain is an illusion” An anemoia for (a {blackened/whitish}){god/prophet} that wasn’t there Death has its sovereignty It’s checkered squares still haunt me [Love {claims/commits} its innocent (Crime to be only guiltless transgressions)] The shadow craves [(a strange Kind of) light to sculpt itself from] An isolated darkness from the scab bleeding light It knows nothing; because it comes from nothing Rejection holds onto (lonely) {Mediocrity/chastity/power} ([Close to its chest] like a memory) Life is mediocrity, trying to chase after Some nonexistent meaning until we’re gone The opposites so similar To what we are Nothing. Or everything [Falling [{pieced/back}] together into one clump of worthlessness; in frailty, fragility] The human spirit [is] flawed [anger (and fear, pure bland sad hatred)]; Halves of a horseshoe That are no different [({Two/too} {images/blind} for a third eye)] The farther apart the closer together we see [A spectrum of grey] Then why? Why have you {forsaken/forgotten} [{me/brother}]? Separated (by a) discontentment (That {I/they} can [still] barely {remember/scratch}) [(For)] {Two/to}{parts/be} in [perfect form,] balance Something has to die {But/perhaps} [We all live, {we-all/and} die, And everything {we/that} {Experience-(that)/happens} {Within-the/in-between} the two is {Cold/blind-like-the} summer {rain/sun}] Black from white White from black A dream within a nightmare That vilified all [this] that I am Hate from love Betrayal from faith All I ever was
“I will remember before I forget” [Graffitied into the walls of my mind forever]
“People are not good to each other.” “People are not good to each other.” “People are not good to each other.” “I suppose they never will be.” “Who put this brain inside me?” “It will not say ‘no’” Even after every {failure/defeat} I remain lost {Nothing/[enduring-(on-through-emptiness)]} This, and only this One, and only one The marching band has long Since left since me to the bark Of my own {mechanisms/devices[and-(warped)]/[(metamorphosing)]-decadence} There’s nothing left to die, except [For this] maybe, the two faced [Ideal] innocence of a fair childhood[‘s judgement] Gone to the wind [Like a Canadian flag set free (From its knotted tree, or flagpole)] [Ribboning rag resining red] I am still here [Dyeing the white cloth (with)in] Faded colours; blending into a single mosaic [Sick with my sorrow; (bound, Braided, by the slipknot tie Of my kaleidoscopes tongue)] [(The final note {battered/lapsing/whispers/lost(within)/before} A symphony of silences)] [Catastrophe’s chapels unwrapping Glass blackest gaseous alabaster satin laughter gouache Damascus rapids taffeta gelatinous] [Daffodils gilded swivelling pillow Quilt hilling billowing smoke cloaking yolk] [(Pulling frozen posies kaleidoscope Crochet oaken opal warped)] Orb phantasmagorical gorge Forest porridge coral formaldehyde scythe Uncorked porcelain fringe Amorphous winds gin Photosynthesized vinyl intertwine spiralling Caramel yellow umbrella trellises Abyss wisp tarnishing crystallines Twisting pitch lithium hieroglyphics Nickel sickle paradisiacal wine Kaleidoscope roping topaz labyrinth [Prairies barricading jade polymerization Sol foliage face creation Laced transmogrification] And yet still [Like dandelion seeds to the wind Fall (taken clumsily,) together] I shall {follow/flower/flourish/flow} Because brother [{To/for} {us/me/you}, whether you’re] [Black, white, or grey] There is no other way, [(to-{live/die/be}) And (to tell you the truth),] there never really was Time goes on regardless {I/we/you} {was/were/are} only temporary [But maybe] I loved you; once Like dandelions
“[(Nobody wants him, He just stares at the world)]” “[(Planning his vengeance that he will soon unfurl)]” “[(Nobody wants him,)]” “[(They just turn their heads)]”
3. Their Blessing
[Before I found {my/a} {way/ride} home; At the beginning of the end] [That continue its crescendo Into an abyssal nothingness] Balanced on the edge of Existence bare feet dangling above [Unhinged from the {Framework/shell/bones/dice/skeleton} Of a split second] [Stretching beyond the frame Of mind pictured in a spiral Helix staircase; daffodil downy decaying daisies dilapidating (Drown devoured) depths (Drenched ditch deep dyes decadences Dim damp delusion dunes dews defibrillator)] Drawing dawn’s doubloon Diluted developed decorating Deaths’ draping drab damson Beacons steeples ether leaf [Down into the recesses of a yesteryear that came] [And went] [Distant descent desiccated drums drizzling dams dabb(l)ing (dahlias duvets of dead) daphnes] [Like the morning rain (after sunset)] [Depths dandelions draft Damascus Dry day diluted doppelgänger] Battered into pure succinct Timid bootlicking feeble submission Grappling with the angry sun and What {could/should} have been [(While the old world move{s/d} on)] [Gutted for {all/what} it was(n’t)] [Without bothering] {And/to} {watched/watch} [its own prophetic downfall] [Fade into abstract nothingness and void (like an empty dream)] [(An abstract crumpled polaroid)] I was told [to]
“Let it be”
“All hell {couldn’t/can’t} stop {it/us} now” See {now/it}?; [the hard truth (is There’s still nothing out there, Just self-important ugly Insatiable unsatisfiable oversaturated Angry humanity; infatuated Industrial dreams Cannibalizing, hungry)] It’s stupid [The world turns on its own But no one came to watch it] What a sad humanity [(Bent into meaningless Submission by their very intrepid existence)] [(They cannot see a thing)] [(Through their safety nets, Their echo chambers)] [(Lost in) their (own) little bubbles] [(These {simple/silver/shrapnel/grey} human bullets)] Shooting stars as comets are Tracking mud through corridors Of [dull, limbed wicker] {emptiness/light} [(Blinded by their {Brilliance/damnation/salvation})] [(Their open ears Listening to no one)] Their angry mouths pitting words at no one [(Their unending dance twirling, dwindling, to no one)] [(They come to hate the other)] [(The need to be right, to be the greater {Man/woman/individual})] [Whoever {doesn’t/cannot} Pass on their judgement, (their test) Their justice, is {false/replaceable}] Unable to damn themselves, They damn those who do not fit [them] They damn one another They rip the jigsaw like cardboard Until all the broken pieces hit the floor They jam the bent fingers of A clock together until the hands break They scrape at the chalkboard The namelessness, of those without love without happiness [(They say I love no one but myself)] Who are they to say this? They damn their damnation They damn me [As they must] Unable to comprehend anything that isn’t their own Unable to love without equal hate They give off the {idea/agenda} that they [themselves] love only people like themselves They say I am their greatest evil; (that I) {am/an} inhuman, (a) monster worth killing That I am their witch They say [that], but [They become (and maybe even create) their own {monsters/war-machines}, (They complete their own sad witch hunts] [(Their {fanciful/fanatical} Fabrications, in {it/which} They are kings with no sense of Identity, no need for a pawn)] [They are their own definition, Their very imitation, not Knowing, willing, better than to blame] [Others, in their art and Their exodus and in hating me They are free(d) spotless, purified, bathed] [(From {it/this} purged of this, Needed by this, they create answer And question-this, one and all)] [They cannot not commit Themselves to hatred, So they convict others, they blame me for their Pride, for their transformation, Mimicking the butterfly, they cocoon themselves until ready] [(For their bedazzled tyranny, {warped/free} {beauty/prison} For their {sick/ignorant} {Bottomless/innocent} {self-love/evil})] [Resentful, they take from me what They cannot have and then blame me for it they break their Horses, and call me the rider. The businessmen smoke cigars The walkways stretch like (an) old alley cat(s) ; Gutters drowning in reflectionless glass The moon may cry tears that Fingers of grey mountains cannot Wipe away [from its facelessness] [The sun hides its face beneath A golden gild veil of clouds] The hands of the clock Conduct the black oil eyed sheet music The rusted axil spins like A windmill in the old Mechanism of our minds The pieces of the puzzle Come together into one image [the dimensions of which are unceremoniously] Bent into one frame Whispering cacophony with only ones’ voice The path to {salvation/heaven/Nirvana} is written out By the fools, and anarchists, And romanticists, and martyrs, Not {just/by/simply} them Most do not know {it/that} So find your own [truth] Make it up along the way Try to live your own dream Even now As the clock ticks As the sun rises and falls Like a single breath As the shadow spurns its own light Surrounded by the dark As the cars pass on an Empty gold highway And the night ends; Day parting from the[se] black clouds As the people walk Through streams of colour Their [dark clouded] minds Cannot [hope to] {comprehend/grasp/appreciate/grip} As the dusk falls like an angel Into the arms of an absentminded God Finding their [{one/true}] {Eternal/immortal} {mistake/victory} in the flicker of a [{single/warped}] streetlamp Finding their nothing; their no one As the {song/fool} {finishes/sings} And the flags {flail/cry} [Out] stubbornly {in/to} the wind As the {violent/voiceless/vacant} crowd roars
“[(And now I am become death, The destroyer of worlds)]” [(Echoing and chanting out To these {great/mass/mountainous} silences)] [(To this {inebriated/nondescript} {Existence/world/life/sin/rock})] To this parody of [mimicked] Beauty, [this null, hollow, void] [(I cannot blame them)] [(Fading folding fraying into torn memories)] [(That {no/I} {one/don’t-(cannot)} {Wants-(to)/(love-or)-remember})] Curving and rippling; Together [see them?] [Who are you that do not Know your history] Falling, finding, failing, apart [like dandelions] Do they {not/even} know? [The end of that road is dry wind dead (eyes of) grass] [Is] six feet of nothing Are {they/we} not the same Infinitesimal {dumb/dulled} moment? Echoing out against the Four walls of a hospital ward [Brought low by the Abstract pulling of time] [Left to rot in grey photographs Of anemoia for the future Generations (to {rediscover/gawk-at})] [That cannot grasp a world brought low, one] [That robbed {them/itself} blind] Never truly knowing how temporary we were How being forgotten {may/might} feel Waiting, watching, witnessing, waking Until it’s their turn To die out like a trembling candle In a blacks blanket hurricane So instead the future tries to dream Of something better, brought before them An appetizer {of/for} tomorrow Fulfillment; lilies soliloquy Pillories in the willow’s breeze Our faded picture {indistinguishable/worn/dilapidated} Never truly understanding Its emanating beauty Never knowing its brilliance; {This/its} masterpiece That was The empty fields are ruined The cold coal sunset The dreams of corduroy horizons, gone [(Ground to black dust, White plastic bags in the wind)] [Collecting wilted formaldehyde dandelions]
“[I] imagine[d] the[ir] insults {a/their}blessing” “[{Now/I}] imagine[d] accepting the[ir] truth” Painting ourselves over again In the image we once were; {Lost/high} in a cracked Bathroom mirror; how did we get here? Become a monster? Printed, scabbed over, scribbled Out with lead like dotted bullet-points [Graffitied murals gouache Arrases blossom (copper swath sakura)] Crocheted braid mosaic bouquet Haloes Sol corona golden Embroidered exfoliating shapelessness; Eclipsed glyph photosynthetic Heavens shredding red resin, Armageddon’s tendrils gild pillows swollen eidolon Feathered nebula of dove Budding colourful, smothering Umbra; thundering sun Underworld swirls Undulating oasis pages Paisley suede raven Plaited transmogrification Blossoming cacophonies arrases Tossing and turning Metallurgical hurricanes Frescoed echoes’ golden embroidery Foliage bridge labyrinthine Glyphs rip twisting pitch Photosynthesis into onyx Obelisk monolithics nickel Mithril gilded swilling coal metamorphosing Orchards form chlorophyll willows Sigil pillow coronas’ ambrosia Bridging ridges fringe ribboning Slithers river prism Entangling bangled evangelism Rosé pandemonium tomes Catacomb ocean lotus, gorging Orange coals Sol phantasmagorical [Fleury corridors moor oregano Opaque lace snowflakes Face shapelessness’s hieroglyphs] [Blissful abyss vinyl kaleidoscope Viscus pits shapeshifting lithium] [Porcelain portraits amorphous Vortex effigy depths crepuscular lactescent] [Nocturnes copper gouache Sloshing ochres token Opal corking quartz ore metamorphosis] Flowers gallery valleys Malleable enamelling Gouge unravelling shroud [Discarded disillusioned devoured devoided] [Our art] [Bursting into flames for their Tactile one-way disamusement] [Into the sound of silence Flickering neon eye of a {Whitewashed/blackened} {shadow/sun} [Into an image so warped; That its {stretching/fingers/iris} Kaleidoscope, tired, broken, mutilated] [So strafed, so hated] [No longer cares; no longer lives] Loathing {everyone/everything-(and)/voids’/nothing} [With(in) or without love] [(With(in) or without humanity)] With or without a reason, Or a single happier memento [to remember] [To cling to] [(I watched, petrified)] [(As my name become Soot in another mouth)] [(As my heart was pulled From the garden of my chest like an inside out rose)] And handed to them [(My voice radio static)] [(My touch broken glass; bent into white shards)] As {time/nostalgia} walks away [(As if I didn’t know him)] [As if we(‘d) never {talked/lived}] [({Leaving/bailing})] Without [having] anything [{else/left}] to say [(But {fare-thee-well-(and)/goodnight})] [We were here, once, (don’t forget)] [(Memento mori)]
“For whom the bell tolls, time marches on” [But (by now)]
“Most peoples’ deaths are a sham. “There’s nothing left to die” [(And to be honest)] [There never really was]
“We are born of one breath, one word” “[(Bound to this flesh), this” “Guise, this mask, this dream]” {Until/please,} {we’re/wake} {Not/up,} {anymore/remember}
4. Flare (Like Us)
You were just like us A body like a fire, crying out Your pride, your words, your ways [Infecting the trees with Your hippy halogens] Carrying your torch Across the ending fields [Burning the witches That made your magics] Your flame betrays you [(Covered in pitch then tossed in the Canyon under a candle wax sun)] Vilified for your ambition Deified for your sins Then flickering and sputtering To (nothing more than) ash Victim to the madness you {made/craved} When you were made from madness When you gave order, madness Blind and reaching out in the dark {where/when} you once burned bright [Who are you that do not know your history] Did you [not] forget the meaning that wasn’t there? [(Knotted in your hair?)] [(Sitting by the dirty gravel beaches)] [(Stitching into unhinging frames; Emptying moments detached Outstretched, broken eyed timber photographs)] [(Whiskey on the rocks)] Hidden in the trees; still [Or there spellbound, amorphous]
“Maybe {hiding/flying} (High) in the clouds?” Blind to the shadow your Light cast me from the portrait vortex of forests overgrown tomes rosaries molded pandemonium Are you [not] blind? Have you plugged your ears with clay? To not hear the distant Moon grapple with a eclipse? Baking in the heat, under The rays of Armageddon? Down in the sands of an hourglass, Falling through fingers Is this who you were? Did you [for]get what you wanted? Down there in the river There was a pulse like green Leaves swaying in the wind And before it, a welcoming hand To conduit the silence That you hallowed out; like a dead oak Before we staved off the last of our shunned And left Eden (unkempt) Cluttered with anemoia [(Somewhere between grey Headstones and crumbling churches)] The cold smiles and the dead mothers Evangelist pistols recoil In the foliage bridging Amygdala with figure of Precision lindens rhythm [That hold] burnt ash like children Like jigsaw [in meadow] [All {golden/barley/brass} fences and twisted pews] [(We weren’t so different)] This pandemic of [{Similar/different} (little)] ideologies [(Snorting up charcoal and paint To try and breathe {life/colour} Back into the dead still living)] So that the living stay dead Echoing and chanting What {it/is} {is/it} to be Or not to be, whittling time To nothing And to no one [Flickering of a candles before The hurricane that came and went] [Left roses by the windows] Echoing the blue sky in black flames These hands [(Dusted in the bodies that burned)] And not knowing [now] What to do with them [Other than praying for cold Rorschach rain] [(To wash away the lack of human humanity)] [(That came, and went)]
“Falling flowers are significant running water is merciless” [(Brought torn bronze wings)] [(Made of swan feathers and pitch)] [Ancient demigods obsessed with A chained Prometheus watching] [As man lackadaisical forgot the Meaning of his (meaningless) words] I finally know what I am now, a contradiction [(Buckling under {its/the} weight)] [({Born/of} {out-of/their} callous meaning)] [Seeing ({all/no-} {nondescript-indisputable-hopelessness/reason/compassion/answer})] [(Hatred)] [({Indescribable/indistinct} words Of a empty shade grey Contortionists of I transmogrify)] [(Sputtering out candle wax Drowning in black lanterns)] Walking through the flames That I used to be Setting [down roads (of tar and ebony)] Before the sun [slipped down Beneath the concrete sidewalk] [(Beginning in the long finality Of a terrible ephemeral sleeplessness)] [And remembered his inevitability; his name]
5. Twin (Flare Continued)
[This nostalgia this anemoia of quiet voices] Soft static Standing still, waiting An orchestra, still hoping to Dance with its conductor, through time Hearing the trembling Hands of a clock ticking There’s a certain sadness to it A pareidolia; inside out, Pulling back A parasol in rain Ordered to play, making Madness out of one nothing Music of dull undulating Tones gone cold eye Peering from the ceiling In its Auschwitz of gold Each note crescendoing Into a suicide of calm words Rippling across the surface Of a mud puddle in Paris Once We could have been friends Now We are playmates The same way black {Must/could} have loved white And white {must/could} Have loved black Before [all] the subtlety of a greyhound [bus] [Making its way through Emptying drenched streets, of (mono)chrome] Enemies sharing the same moment Like a {single/burnt} cigarette [stub] Not knowing love from hatred What could have been? [You, who] I do not know [The only certainty; is alone in (that Silence), that darkness, (that madness)] [That we {now-share/made/stole} {With/for/from} each other] [In the same way black and White must have {been/loved}] Before {a/the} setting sun Echoing and chanting [Openly] to no one {We/I}, {are/am} still {here/human} [({I/we} {am/are} still {me/one})] Even with rusted hearts And soulless eyes [Drowning in streams Of the unconsciousness] [Past the ear canal of channels Static waves flowing] Commercial vessels capsized In ivory scythe Nile wide Blind cork metamorphosed; Blond swan choreography Chiffon autumn gardens Yarn canaries teary canals velvet Vinyl kaleidoscope a opal Phantasmagorical forest, florins yolk Trellises latticed with Cavernous eclipse mist omnipotent glyph [Dawning tawny transmogrified Vines twining kaleidoscope Horizons colliding (into sinewy Twigs of fig tree leaves terpsichorean)] [Branches anchor jacaranda Onyx catatonic auburn collaging constellation] Camouflaging lager bronze Mausoleums Sol kimono folding corona [Golden polaroids foliage corduroy Magnolia void embroidering oily] Orange coral porridge bridges pin photosynthesis Rhythm blizzards’ string Calligraphy schisms crimson linens ribbon Stretching etch vessels swelling Archipelago coal’s totem pandemonium Pillowing gilded sigils frilling Capillaries build milquetoast silhouette Knit nickel stitching eclipses Twist crystalline abyssal visceral [(Drafted apples dilapidated graphite White ichor basking ecclesiastical Pastures asphalt capsized Horizons unwinding ivories Embedded the ebony shredded Heaven honeyed sunny tundra Thunders penumbra tonguing Mellow parhelion dawn Tarnishing nickel sashes overlapping Satin afterimage photographic Jasper blackened chapels tapestries Of astral pastel gelatinous Rapids fractal swath crashing Vast baptism aspens gouache Wrapped in castaways of jade, Grasses map capsized violins Of a pattern attic fabric Cataclysm blacken psychoactive Glass Lovecraftian astronauts Dot nocturne pockmarked By darkness carpeting (marshes artwork) Parchment tarp arches scarves Tarnished citrus viscous, Waxing saplings avalanche In branching amaranth Antler Saturn satin axe Cardiovascular daffodils Blasphemous sacrament grasping Masts of frescoing rose Primordial coiling portraits Masked Rorschach’s nectar dressed phosphorescent)] Saffron dawn of mahogany Constellations bronze carving cartilage Orchard’s amorphous [A light] in darkness {Zesting/juicing} the unending sermon Of sky transmogrified {with/(the)eye(s)-of} A lemon wedge moon; Pewter monsoon ballooning Cumulus ruby entombing plume Pews fumed jewelry aluminum Parachuting roots’ fuchsia Pulchritudinous centrifuge Bloom illuminated breath Of phosphorescent bioluminescence’s Outstretched electroconvulsive Salsa of bangled spangling hands Etched nectars depths Sepulchres fleury orb Ribbon rivers rhythmic rim Riding rhinestones rising Ruddied rye residing reddish rhododendron rut revering remnant rebelling reverends revenants The egg yolk sun smouldering Sol pandemonium gold Smothered colour budding clouds’ Amalgam brown gowns shroud Unravel disembowelling towelling Flowers mouth malleable enamel cowling Opaque chain defibrillating Aeon mosaicked maze Dawn constellation Unfolding corroded coal Corona hand amber dandelion horizon [Depths effigy incandescent Trees of redden setting metallurgy] Emerald petals fold chlorophyll Waiting [there, lulling, Grovelling, in shapeless Pitching iridescent, Reaching out to {the/a} sun still hidden in (red clouds) there like gold black taffeta], For, {a-(glimpse-of)/the-(end-of)} (Our) final chapter; Baptized in the fire of an empty sun Books on ancient shelves; [Marble floors (glistening Hieroglyphics, mithril Gilded silver willows sigil chiseled)] Clouds of pyre sheep; [Reaping steeples (leaf) creek ether (blur)] White picket fence Beyond the alabaster walls of all Damascus’ creation One again [(Stretching out into the dirty dusk; As if this darkness could still Remember {me/us/you/it/light})]
6. Alone In The Darkness
Here I am Nobody, and no one [Overlooking the escarpment That’s become (As) bottomless (as Tartarus)] Like a rusted crown Of trees budding colours [(Hamilton sits here alone, unspoken to)] In backgrounds of reality Like an empty hole Like an etching on a prison wall; Hanging from the roof of my mouth The people say There was a hole here, It’s gone now I’m not interested in people, I’m interested in art He says Sitting on the edge of this earth [His oceans] eyes sharpening Themselves like blades of datura bluegrass To the mandala of collages [Swallowing halls] collapsed [Rafters aspen] rapids [Pass glass] daffodils pillar, swivel To the empty blue of a cavernously barefoot sky We are nobody, we are no one Cessation, exodus, unhalting Unexulting bare nothingness; Shackled by our Overarching purposelessness, Our inhibition, our prideful, Aching arrogant ancient avarice [How hollow, lost, and foolish we once were] [(How we still are)] [You cannot see the truth Of something from merely One perspective, one {Kaleidoscope’s/guises’} {Scarred/warped} {eyes/lens}] {Actors/pieces} on a stage with no one (left) to watch [{them/us}] Such is the way[s] of the world [Maybe there’s a light At the end of this grey tunnel, but] A billion shades seen Through one eye are merely several dozen Reality is an illusion [(One, that doesn’t know The privileges of {our/senseless} Blindlesses, our echo Chamber, our ignorant false-truth)] [The prejudice of reunification] [Our vindictive belief In our own unaccepting gods] [Foreign to the idea of Camaraderie, love, humanity, compassion] [Their hate is now my hate] [I am become death the destroyer of worlds] [Their ways have become mine, brother, mine, theirs] I wouldn’t have it any other way Maybe I was born blind to it all [Maybe I couldn’t see the {truth/difference}] I cannot {love/save/hate/kill} {you/myself} Kingdoms of splintered obsidian Sun latticed through illuminating Overhead the cliffs viscus In the background distanced eclipse Precipice precipitation of white Kites lamplit hieroglyphs crystal Mithril silver cerulean wings Inkblot gouache cottontails trail Laid in beige bouquets suede Constellations jade polymerization Paper shapeshifting dawn Origami in the cinnamon winds Bloom centrifuging lucid abyss Bronzing consciousness Pale tornadoes of golden Exfoliation embroidered in oily coins Rorschach aphrodisiac blackness Asphodel patchwork Cardiovascular bay masquerading [Molasses grafted taffeta photographic Wax tapestry arras evaporated Gape transmogrification] Gouging amalgam clouds Disembowelling flowery Gowns malleable cowl Beacons wreathing in bleaching Ecru jewels hues ruby The sun is a black pearl in an Ocean of clouds, grass, and mountain [Nadir meadows of gold Torches metamorphosis] Even now, the sun shines Peaking out from Beneath a blanket of cloud [(Thick tendrils of smoke Poke out as behind the crowns of tree-line)] [Alone again] In the middle of a black empty [sky] Alone in the darkness Sitting on the edge of this earth, Eyes sharpening themselves Like blades of datura bluegrass Here I am [{M**********r/see?}] [The sun shines] [It does not understand What it means to die angrily] [(In a puddle of its own {Black & white tears/sweat})] Does it know of love desire, truth or despair? [Dripping down its gelato (Into rose frescoed ocean)] [(Down from the heaven’s Denim red embers Tenebrous, stormy corneas)] [({Before/until}it inevitably Falls {from/under-the} {Grace/horizon/cone})] [(Is it not beautiful?)] [(Like an angel, or a five dollar bill, Or a loose hooker, or a begging wino)] [I went down that river once, When I was (foolish, and) young] [Swam through the streams of unconscious] [(Thickets burst with green)] [(Walked past) miles of them] {I/it} never {liked/loved} {It/you} [(that) much] anyways [I hope you choke (on them)] [(Like I did; {once/before} the past left me to die for nothing)] [({And/like} no one, emptiness, void, nobody)] [(I came to dream)] [(All {through/on} {Your/my} {disorder/own})] [And (it grew, to let me) Find my own way home, Through the static traffic] [(Next to these highways Of isolation, these hallways of childhood)] [These corridors of decadence] [(Something that passed Like the entropies of time)] [({Somewhere/safe})] [(Where the world could not Murder them again)] Where the trees would not whisper of its eye [(In the rusting bombshell of my blue heart)] [Before you pulled it from (The garden of) my chest, like an inside out rose] [And I forgot (what happiness was)] [(Like the last petal)] [On a yellow dandelion sun, (withering into morning)] [(One moment of love that came and went)] [(Like innocence)] This is who I am, brother {I/you} [cannot] kill what I cannot Understand, a nostalgia for A time that I [see I] cannot have back A dull recollection of a world I couldn’t love, or hate [That couldn’t love me, Something I couldn’t truly Understand, forgive,] accept, or recognize, until it left [me] A love turned to loathing and self hatred But the way the trees sway Weighed down by their leaves in autumn And the blue skies of summer [(Sweep, ravel through the Emptying halls of my memories, And)] tempt me now And spring reaches out from the mud pits of winter [(With {life/dirt} between Its bark tarps fingertips)] Trying to grasp sunlight In the hands of a clock Reminding me of what was once What I once was Before {now/night/my-freedoms}, hurt[s] me [But there was no other way for me, (Only this anger, and maybe The morbid curiosity of hate, Of love, of struggle wasting memory)] [And (let me tell you, I know, Now, that) there never really will be] I know {no/little} {better/else} (Alucard’s Speech, Hellsing Ultimate, Kouta Hirano:) “Don’t do it human don’t Become a monster, a monster like me” Like so many {other/monster}s So many damned fools, unable to move on [Forced to remember paradise] [Mourning for a time long dead, A world long {gone/dead}, A happiness that ceased to {be/exist/live}] {Or/like} some absentminded God [(Will pick up the pieces of his Puzzle and remake your life, your shadows] There is no God for such ignorant men [Not {able/prepared/alive-enough} To finally, inevitably {realize/love/live} {Until/that} they ({unbeknownst/themselves}) Are ({forgotten/long}) dead as well] (Alucard’s Speech, Hellsing Ultimate, Kouta Hirano:) “Do you want to use {this/that} Scrap of [a] miracle to become {Nothing/little} more than A scrap of miracle yourself?” This empty facade of better times? This agony of a better world There is no miracle Only warpaint The past, a mirage, an Oasis that will not Care to slake your thirst That will not yearn To quell your hunger No matter how many Times you drink from it All these memories, Are filled with hate, And I can think of no {Love/joy} that endures [with them] Memories like shallows that once were depths [Shadows on the walls that cannot See the shapes that made Them, fake lullabies lulled] [Memories like pages And books in a house-fire, (memories)] Like dandelion seeds to the wind [I cried my salty tears yet these eyes remain dry)] *[The anvil of my heart Would claim many new swords To batter itself with, Its broken armour, it’s mirage Too rusted by the rough Custard reconstructions]* May there be a light at the end of this tunnel Or let the past stay buried And grow into something{else/beautiful/null} A blooming flower {Something/made} undesirable [Will you not live?] A single drop of topaz rain *[We who loved]* *[And lost ({ourselves/nothing/everything/(this-hope)/(all-our-love}) Living in an old red {paper/leather}back]* Rorschach daffodils chapels Asphodel sigils willow gilded pillows Chiselled hills spilling Vermiculites kites ichor Scythes kaleidoscope [Chiffon blond dawn constellations Bronzing collage drawing cosmos] Hyperventilating tendrils Emerald ghetto Sol Trellising eldritch eclipse [Yellow bells evangelical Enveloping gelatine Tingeing ribboned equilibrium] [In a gulf of electroconvulsive Sulphur salsas penultimate] [(Fragile petals drowning Together in a green field Oak yolk ocean meadow, Metal cello enveloping trellises; Yellowish abyss pits knit Hieroglyphic scripture; nickelled Styx picturing lithium)] [Etching reflections zephyr Perpetual sketch sepulchres Phosphorescent depth stretched Luminescence, porcelain Amorphous uncorking vortex’s] [Constellations gaping opaque Creation lace oasis’s whisk shapeshifting] Napalm collage Sanskrit Precipitation depth etching Stretching crepuscular effigy Caliginous stringing disfigured Linens’ ink drinking singe Tinged amethyst chrysalis image sprigging dim windows imprint drinking twig photosynthesis Warping quartz torchlit quarter Florin orange formlessness Crystalline shapeshifting sickle lithium [Rippling centrifugal pull woven magnolia oily foliage embroidery, coiling corduroyed fleury rosary exfoliating painted shapelessness pit] [Agate constellation hieroglyphic abyss cliffs twist crystalline viscus] Red ebony sunsetting chalcedony tenebrous eidolons golden chlorophyll [(Crying out to the moon like a Gregorian chant, telling)] Of spring [And tomorrow] [Which can only be (infinity’s end)] Conducting symphonies Quick to turn echo And a beginning, of the final note, Standing {alone/rusted} {In/by} the rain Like a brass statue[tte] of God; Autumn transmogrified silo irises Spiralling lilac cacophony Blackness blanket bangled ambergris hydrangeas Eclipse wicker twisted nickel Styx photosynthesis Pitch crucifix sickle cliff [Colliding fibres unwinding Horizons ivory eye kaleidoscope Caramelizing wide photosynthesize] Dividing into schism, ribboning [Like the last word in a death sentence, blue running water, somewhere, beyond the rusts brush Never-ending hills streams green eden bead terpsichorean weaving leaves (cedars) Psalm onomatopoeia] All of which are {arrogant/ignorants’} dreams All of which Are {arrogant/ignorants’} dreams
7. Blackstar
*[Again, left, under a blackhole sun, that will never set the pace of clockwork mockingbird]* *[Enveloping the city lights]* *[The eyes of tornadoes]* *[As they stretch along the black night skies fibrous highway]*
“Breathe until your lungs fail” “You can sing 'til you go deaf” *[These memories]* *[Brought up from the dirt like fragile hateful dandelion seeds]* *[I don’t know what to do with(out) them]*
“Every day repeats itself” “The cycle of our misery, it drives us all insane” There was no reason Only mementos *[Weak flashbacks of yesteryear]* *[Echo through my mind]* *[Singing in the distance, when {my/the/this} world was still innocent(ly), frail and young]* As if I was still naive *[Living in a dream; waiting to dance forever again]* I can see you now; amidst the wreckage of a golden mandala’s sun Do you remember me? I’m almost home
8. Wasteland of Memento
There was No reason Brother, and, there never Really {was/will-be} [A light in darkness flickering out into abyss] [The infinite shifting of sands] [We who loved and Lost all (in our anemoia)] [(Drawn out like a constellation Battered in a one deliberate sky; drowning in one Sol gold foil retina’s)] [({Blindfolded-(by-the)/glare} at the end of a tunnel,)] [({In/crossed-by} {your/these} black eyes)] [Bombs that drop like butterflies and sunrise widening papyrus colliding dandelions twine Fibrous seeds to the wind begins scintillating] I tried to no avail To love you But I could not love myself So I watched the sunset dribble Down like an egg yolk *[Into the neon lights of a city I wasn’t born {in/from}]* *[(Into the hills and the roses and the picket fences and the hubbub)]* *[Into the industrious machinery Of tonguing tunnelled thunders’ Clockwork grinding bone Into rust mush custard, (into gas dilapidation)]* Into the glyph abyss nickel Riptide iris caramelize lilac *[(Suns watercolour umbral Covers flowering clouds amalgam Chrysanthemums amplified]* Like a popped eye, spiralling transmogrified, ivory spiderweb Kaleidoscope of opal cork [There in the coffin of my heart shaped box] [I sit within the sound of silence; And the dull deep despair Of a descent through aeons, Of dawns’ mitochondria; winding into, willowing sinew] [Sigil of whittling chisel] [(Magenta fentanyl envelope Angelic yellows belladonna, bombing ensemble] [In Los Muertos concerto; flaring Chameleon peeling cathedrals, Golden Sol’s pandemonium, Folding corona tomes of embroidered foliage] [Teal fields and clovers ambrosial Monolithic obelisk twisted Into crucifix’s pixie tarnished Hydrangeas wicker Eclipse pit photosynthesis] [From the walls of auburn Halogen polymers blur in images Stygian written contradictions Of lithium precipitating grape of isolationism] [Exfoliated creation into synthetic Red nether rhododendron Armageddon] [Across the glossed over horizon Of (winding Gaia’s) pine tree] [Timelessness abyss whispering Through pews of ludicrous perfume Parachuting aluminum pewter Clouds unconfounded bowels Cowl gowns gouged amalgamated polymerization] [Gelatinous aspens bend assemblage Resins hallucinogenic penitentiary tenebrous warped quartz] [Burst from the cocoon, of a midnight moon] [Plume illuminating gates of Plaited glaciers facing Annihilation in the wake of a wasteland] *[Madness finds its order]* *[(Some broken Gods porcelain Torchlit cliffs orchard’s sycamores Amorphous, lotus oaks roses Twisted in abyss form orb Uncork ores warped fleeced Beacon torn tar metamorphosis)]* *[Portraits fleury incorporeal]* *[Twisted {from/into} one Shape draped over coal rosaries]* *[Blooming parachute pewter Monsoon plumage subsuming]* *[(Shackled in saffron daffodils Gilded pillow mithril ceruleans Vermilion wilted capillaries]* *[Bouquets suede shade Mosaic pave glade frayed Vertebrae acreages photosynthesis]* *[Some shadow of malleable Enamel shroud gouged crowning disemboweled flowering’s]* *[Hollow empty butterfly shell]* *[(Born naked) {from/in} a memory, maybe]* Holding out its hand As if {we/I} could dance forever
9. (The) Future (Is-Written-By-The- Outcasts)
[The future is written by the Outcasts, the forgotten (voices), The ostracized {losers/(and)-loners}] By the isolated totems of men Born from the wooden word of Gaia By the colourless brush of those Who would buy a bargain Can of tuna in a supermarket, And {know(ing)/see} it {(Might-be)/as} their {biggest/only} Catch, their {greatest/only} victory By those so tired, so strafed that God could be merely another shadow on the wall [In a room full of shadows] In a basement under {a/some} dirty, [dingy, dungy] Crumbling, ugly and empty convenience store In the middle of a maximum security Prison-city of individual degradation Where people walk past empty Faces, stomaches, and {forget/deny} Knowing the terror of one Heart suffering alone, Untouched, unseen, unspoken to By the so called failures Who have loved and lost all integrity, Individuality, introspection, Intrigue and indifference, Unable to integrate into the Damnable existence of that Which they are left to, A fly to a flicking {neon/fluorescent} light Like a lotus in a terpsichorean bog Crowded corridors of light Stretching past shadows like a fat cat The forgotten memory, here, And now, yet lost to the ages Husks and ghosts of once-children That finally outgrew their empty {shells/halls} Like a hole in reality Viewing the illusion of pain And knowing nothing, little else [(This exuberant biography, it)] [Belongs to the dead-eyed Men and women, and the Cold night of constant transmogrification] Workers of a night shift between The teeth of taffeta Abaddon [Belongs to the empty heads Filled with Rorschach butterflies] [Born into the meadow of men] [Shaped out of abandoned Carnivals rusted and overgrown {by/in} the rain] [Belongs to the pilgrims of crimson forests budding before the body of a world eater] [Like a jungle of chess pieces and checkered boards] [Overgrown with blades Of grass like the dull edge of a knife] [The dead end of {The/a} path not taken] [(They alone are God’s gifted children, Born {from/within} dilapidated Effigies and lucid dreams)] [For humility is to know the Weakness within strength, And the strength within weakness] [The future is told by the dull {Outcasts/(of)-wallflowers}, The forgotten (voices), the Ostracized {losers/(and)-loners/(and) strange} (They alone are now yesteryear’s Courageous and truly Indomitable fallen Sols angel; Soldiers of fortune like leaves In the cold rain of Rorschach Butterflies spiralling denied By the rising sun; setting From heaven threaded in Armageddon metallurgy; metempsychosis)] Not the heroes and victors not the {Various/(faceless)/(and)-two-faced} Political figureheads That hog all the glory Not the winners or the lovers or the haters That elevate themselves ignorantly With self entitled foolishness Not the war men that {take/collect} lives like (a) parking ticket(s), waiting to be towed into hell That {live/(lie-in)wait} to die a second time, and take us down with them Not the psyche ward staff, Or the television stars, Or the prison guards That claim {innocence/sanity} [{As-(if-it)/is} {something/(that)-grows} {Of/on} their {own/walls}] Not the billionaires, or The government, or the tuxedoed CEOs That step on people like empty eggshells or maggots Not by them And maybe we are losers, Freaks, isolationists But I remember once, When the cold rain fell like wintery splintering gold upon my face And I would walk home through the ruddied puddles After classes With the footsteps of salvation Echoing behind [us] Like [godly old] laughter To follow me, through The evening, heaven, or hell Whether or not I knew better Forgotten mementos of a time Gone past like childhood {And/when} the world didn’t {Seem-(to)/feel} like torture Whether or not {they/we} cared, [{I/we} (knew, {I/we}) {Was/were/would} loved/overcome] To continue drifting along [And write our own stories hiking barefoot in the sands]
10. Waterboard
And swallowed up the light and shadow, becoming neon Yet emptiness stretched out the smouldered picture frame Spider kaleidoscope roping yolk cork anthropomorphic Contours amorphous porcelain gin withered photosynthesis torchlit metamorphosis [Intangible amber strangled unraveling jams spasms slathered lavender] Figures linger finger-tipped glyphs twist dawn bronze lithography [(Torn from {the/four} corners’ of quarter orb metamorphosis)] Gelatos totems chlorophyll spilling vermillion gilded swill silhouette Tempestuous essence incandescent vestige nectars wrestle omnipresent extraterrestrial Rivers of unconscious thought [ribboning out from sparks of darkness] Pits of neon lithium shapeshifting onyx pitch cyclical Tarnished crystal Bottomless abyss bristling Ginseng fringing prism Syringe crimson meringue Bangled channels fragile Avalanching with the lamps Of damp anchor chrysanthemums Deep beneath beacon beaches Outreaching bleach leaflets depths Crepuscular sepulchre Stretching incandescent Effigies of etching vessels Unfolding coronas golden embroidery; foliage of frigid silver guillotine greenery, peeling back The blackness of Damascus Brass daphnes shackle chapels daffodil gild blackness alabaster
“Hang my head Drown my fear Till you all just disappear” Learn to swim Deep in the darkness that swam Through the blunt edge of paradise [Somewhere along the way, I lost my cruel & indifferent ignorance] My nature to destroy unceremoniously I think I might be dreaming
11. (Went-Down-That) River
Went down that river Once, fruitless, when I was young Miles of them, {flood/flow}
The rings of power Bind an open hand grasping Arrogant and proud
{Shaped/hiding} in great dismay, Reality is my illness Open curtains closed
The people starve, blood Electric, towers {sway/sink} in the {wind/mud} The coal {shaped/red} sun shines
Winter bears one fruit A fire in one’s drum heart Sounding off like guns
Glass obsidian Stars crumble off into dusk Sharp edges of earth
Their is no future I wrote up a blank poem It speaks to me, still The clouds of envy Stalk the city lights, august ({Took/taking}) {all/my} warped love
Words form like paper I sit {silent/ill-formed} amidst the Silence, I know now
Great skyscrapers tall Cannot touch the heavens’ eyes Blind we are, down here
I drew a picture With my mind, wrote symphonies Cannot remember
Emptiness is full I eat my own stomach and Twist, turn inside out
Tapestries ajar Hanging like dead vines {of/or} veins And arteries, flow
There isn’t much out There, but I cannot help it I love little else
Some people don’t know “I love myself, little else” How are you different?
There’s a time and a Place for everything, but not Now, my bike, my rules
Fear, {sadness/old-wounds/weakness}, too deep {Disease/decay/necroses/mold,-rot} of melancholy {Permeates/gangrenous/mortifies} my brain
Don’t f**k with me, I Know how to dance heavy on More than just {my/these} feet
Fighting is useless Creativity {is/still} unmatched, sparks fly {None/not}, down {here/in} the dirt
My cat was docile Very affectionate, cannot Say the same, for man
I made the sun out of Quarters and called it a coarse Metaphor, {gilded/minted}
Pillow ripped from fabric Of a cottontail sky I see your feathers
Brown boughs cowl shrouded Gowns of enamel cloud a Flower Babel’s stairs
Unraveling swaths of Pollenating raven rays Glades over primordial
Ribboning {timber/trimming} The {crowns/crowds} of forests, aged trees Reaching for heaven {One/that} they’ll never find Sprawling from the dirt, never Sprouting golden wings
Schisms of people Walk this earth, bound {by/in} {nothing/shackles} Dolls, {we/they} pull {their/our} strings
Sometimes I can hear The sound of {nothingness/bitterness} like A blank {waterfall/memento/memory}
Pulling from abyss All my hopes and dreams, summer Was long, and heavy
There was a road I Came across and stopped by, once Laughing up the hills
A white {plastic/paper/velvet} {bag/sign/flag} Floating through free thought caught in {The/chained} winds {of/changed} rhythm
The end is nigh, I {wrote/paint/watched} the apocalypse like A {dirty/Rorschach/blossoms’} {birth/book}mark On my {skin/page}, now {bloom/burst}, Indentations, and {rusted/pustule} {Hinge-opening/fringe-chiselling}, the Door {Like/tie} {the/dye} {eye/tide} {of-the/mother’s} Moon, watching {the/it} {fall/all}, mankind Trembles {now-awake/finally}
The black night sky {peels/blinks} {Back-the/wrinkled} face of earth, all scrag Waits for morning’s sun Unable to close Smiling like {senile-old-men/biographies} It’s chapters missing
Serendipity Is an illusion to {me/break} Love me, anyways
I cannot hate you Much the same I cannot know Some people just do
Dreamers take away from Reality, and build their own Bridges, {one/lost/brought/spanned} {a/to/through/in} time
The music left me {Like-a/decades,} dead orchestra(s), notes Leftover, pages
Videogames gave me Space when I had none but my Own, {dull-redemption/lonely-self-love/empty-dark-room/isolation}
Beneath the stubborn Tree, the covers shudder, weave Terpsichorean
Angels with black hearts and No wings gouge out eyes with their Red thumbs, twisted, lost
The Trojan Horse was A gift, a gift can wound you Easy, as a fault From the inside out I am so much more my own Now, just the colours
Some people are still Looking for the answers, my Mind is a question
There are halls in the Movie theatres old, cartoons How we {lost/ditched} {ourselves/childhood} Eager for more now, Even still, they took them down And my {past/dreams}, {with/down} {them/too}
{Old/some} men get wasted On cheap beer, I get wasted Like a dumpster rose
I am become death The destroyer of worlds, still here Searching, for {something/nothing}
Hamburger Meat
The politicians drone On, democracy, {howling-mad/straggling} Lackadaisical
{The/this} {vote/farce} isn’t for Them in the end, {the/this} {vote-it/effort} {Hardly/barely/never/always} {still/will/shall/must} {matters/matter/prevail/subsume} And yet we persist, Falling onto a system That {consumes/devours} (its) {own/gears} To chew up the chaff And print monopoly money Like it owns us all The businesses, and The hubbub and the hubris Screams into silence The people walk the Streets, the sun shines, goldenrod I am not convinced Can you not hear the Sound(s) of silence, books of pain That no one(‘s) ({have/has}) {read/(written)} I wonder if the Cog {can/must/will/could} be a {great/cruel/big/gnarled} machine And {eat/dash/kill} {us/this/our} {up/hope/root} too [{Born-from-blood/centuries/countries}] [In debt, finally having] [To {pay/fight} for something] [I cannot yet wait] [Until civilization] Ends where it began] [Somewhere at the rock] [Bottom, {where/when} we {built/thought} ourselves] [High among prophets] [And {lower-than/low-among} the] [Barefoot {of-God/ready} to stomp us] [Flat like (a) dollar (bills)]
Amalgamated There were so many blind and Beautiful black eyes
The tall towers rise Like spectres to the steel skies (I) always loved (the) shade
Drank from blue fountains Climbed great bronze mountains my heart {Is/an} empty, ({stitched/cracked}) {shell/jar}
Flowers bottomless Collage, chaos, blotch Phosphorescent
Clockwork hands reach out Bask in the glory of false {Light/love/form/God}, casting shadows
To think of thunder His drum to lightning hollow Thought him brother; once
I watched paint {dry/stain} {in/these} {Great/hands} swaths of entropy’d drops My {colourful/sanguineous} tears
Wouldn’t have much of A life, if I hadn’t lived Only {these/my} {thoughts of pain/rusted-cage} See the open sky Can’t do much running anymore Crawl back {in/to} ({my/deep}) {sleep/void}
Fiction gave me hope It’s sad when reality can’t Keep up with {beauty/ideals}
I raise a black {flag/pawn} Against your white, like checkered Squares, no difference, none
The quiet screams for Redemption, what does that mean? I don’t {know,-“sorry”/understand}
The clouds cloud, and the Dogs piss upon the roses, see {Bukowski/Charles,-he} understood
I cover up the[se] Broken windows, that grasp light {With/in} their {fingertips/agony}
Will you not forgive Me brother, for what I’ve done? (I) left (you), for myself
But the trees do not Know, how I once was happy (Their) {sulking/droopy} branches (reach)
{There is/there’s-a} darkness, where {There-is-light/deep-inside}, a bent coin {can’t,/rolls} Be-(it)-heads-(or)-tails/one-(way)(or)-another
Wipe the tears from a {Dry/blind} eye, {and/see} the world for what It {was/is}, meaningless
Never again did He attempt to fly, his wings {Clipped,-like-old/are-yellow/overgrown/broken,-cracked/torn-from-the/ripped-into} {toe nails/curtain(s)}
Stray bullets, like a Cat, {brush/stretches} through ({an/a}) {alleyway/corridor} Against {skin/feather}, {canvas/bone-cloth/teeth-claws}
{I-don’t/didn’t} know what it {Means/meant} to die, I live in such A way, (as if) not (of man)
I try to fail my Way upwards, because I know There’s no other way
I killed myself, as I try to live again, but The {past-keeps/world} {mocking/mocked-me}
You are not alone I am still watching, somewhere From the blank sidelines
Somehow. I am still Here, lost like a shadow of Loneliness, {mortal/shackled}
I tried to kill my Self again, but all that’s {left/here} Was a {single/trampled/white-flagged/red-scarf} rose
(2/3) It means everything Every stone (every) pebble (I am) {here/me} (I am) {alone/myself}
12. Never Again Did He Attempt To Fly
You are not alone [Although the posies could not smile for you, (And the clouds could not smile for you) And the streams could not smile for you I planted a sapling in your dead tree arms] I could not get over your death, so instead, I Decided to live in your stead There was no beauty in nothing There was no hope In nothing [and yet-] [I fashioned a maple leaf] [From you out of red bangles, dejected] But it looked {almost/foreign} Like something unfamiliar to my dreamworld *You take away from me, And my hospitality sandwiched between* Bandaging the sanguine Green sesame onomatopoeia [Frescoed into the cities] Landscaped draped in between] Somewhere around the Bend of a church Empty pews stand {Or/on} [the] edge [of a knife] Or the tress of incandescent Coil of any infinite Numbers of lightbulbs Crackling black alabaster Fractal gelatinous Masquerading clay angel Bays of braided bouquets Mosaic haloed Sol dandelions Barricaded maelstrom gold Shapeless gated oasis cascading grey Aeons dawn transmogrified Tides twine irised clandestine kaleidoscope [Roping tokens opalescent Stretched texture nectar effigies reflectionless] Abyssal mistral crucifixion Crystalline eclipse hieroglyphic Lithium asphyxiation Quarters metamorphose oaken Yolk token uncorking opal kaleidoscope Still heartbeats crescendo Disassembled Sol gladiolus Fortissimo rosary marionette Emerald gold coiling foliage Porridge gorged orangey phantasmagoria Pages enflamed braided oasis Paisleys grey suede objectification *Jupiter translucent cocoons Maroon pooled fuming rouge hues* Vinyls fibre twilight indecipherable Whitened undulating covering Thunder tunnelling running electrum *I wrote about how you came To understand me in a way That no one else could before* But you did not answer, {as/and} The sting of that silence was difficult [to bear] I looked into a mirror And saw the two of us Burning in the fires of man In his constructs, his {mortal/immoral} Lack of conscience[ness] They could not see your face, So I drew your [after] image in a picture frame The brilliance of the sun and The deafening traffic unending Was breathless But I couldn’t have known What I was [until this strange apotheosis] In my padded cell [four walls’ Of white flower cushion (An infinite black void, where planets shift)] Bathed in the florescent glow Of mediocrity, I dream [waltzing through a malt summersaulting] Of a world that has passed Like dandelion seeds to the zephyr At the zenith waiting In a form of anemoia or moksha; Leaking eye watching Clockwork of syncopated Cogs autumn automobiles wheels of steel Dancing through a tar ballroom, Like a rose descending the cracked concrete A balloon reaching for an open hand Or a tie gospel from the metal Ghetto of heaven reds Upending rhododendrons resin parthenogenesis Tripping photosynthesis coffee Onyx hickory gelatinousness Psychotropic gouache Styx’s Phosphorescence’s nickelled lip Eucalyptuses wicker I stitch the mithril capillaries Of cappuccino gold into The vermilion sigil sun thundercloud Ballerina weeds of diesel Terpsichorean teal trepidation nature Sable haloes exfoliating maples Bomb dawn molotov polymerization As I slip through blooming Sunflowers clouds bowels Shrouding the calendar of towelling enamels Babel’s tower borealis malleable cowl bough
“Our lives are changing lanes,” “You ran me off the road” [But the stroke of opal yolk Kaleidoscope Sol woven topaz] Still shines, like a strobe light Of neon tawny obelisk’s Shapeshifting glyph imprint photosynthesis [Thistle cisterns bend assemblages Auburns pond comets bombardment] Andromeda palm onyx Necronomicon blond Transmogrification interlacing Calm abominations crepe The [un]blemished [un]blinking Moon tombs ruins plumes Illuminated variegated paint oasis The inconsequential incongruous Centrifuge cumulus All consuming fumes You sit among dilapidated statues Wrapped in daffodil shrapnel Like dandelions in a leafy Meadow of yellow bells parhelion Painting in naked limbs of Jacaranda; entangled spangled in mandolins The satin fractal rapids Castaway shade eye caramelizing limestone Formaldehyde foliage Frigid ridge caliginous amygdala bridging Decaying freight trains decorate The reigns of frayed plaid pages Immolated suede frescoed echo Into the morning sun, Tumbling ruddier colour Covers of cloud bound In leatherback black blanketing sank Sacrosanct amphitheater [Ampersand lamppost Frozen eidolon golden corona folded over] Ambrosial lotus gladiolus Coiled barbed wire transmogrified guise Amethyst hydrangeas eclipse Tarnished Styx nickelled lithium abyss Ricocheting paisleys oasis Shapeless glyphs viscus Rippling blissful hickories serendipitously Twisted blistering prickled Pristine sycamore ores efflorescent orb Marbled carnivals dissolve Into polymers fall autumn columns Collage mandala auburn Constellations fade hazy pale azaleas Basil railroad swept over clovers Rose-thorns coral portraits phantasmagoria Forests euphoric chlorophyll Gilded capillary wilderness stitching pitch Paradisiacal suicidal hieroglyphics Nickelling Icarus’s abyssal twisting mithirl Yolked polkadot blossoming Arrases blotchy transmogrified Lights pyre irises fireflies Dyed kaleidoscope rhinestone Frescoed gold pandemonium Shines [glades rays on taffeta] Like an apple, or a bible [Eye of formaldehyde dandelion (Fibre photosynthesizing geyser pyre) The picturesque etching of A perfectionisms unhinged Silvery image imitation Pasting lace onyx transmogrification Blonde embalming colosseum helix Peeling cathedrals camomile Ivory cyanides camouflage Lager drawn cogs polymerization Oasis vases halo maelstrom Exfoliating void embroidering foliage Corduroy smouldering coins Metamorphosis into black Aspens hallucinogenic cemetary Smoking brushstrokes orbit Accordion fringe linen dim scintillating Plume illuminating faces Glacier affirmations of shapeless creation The sunrising spiral Megalomaniacal bonfire climbing Unwinding iris vinyl Pupil rupees lucid hallucinations Distasteful discoloured polaroid roses Sclera terraforming cornea Porridge forming metamorphosing florin orb Bulbous pollenating basins Constellation fay make earthquake nature Phoenix eclipse tarnishing Abyssal nickelling hieroglyphic wicker pits Labyrinths’ rinsing symphonic Constellations erasing the grey Paisleys gazing everglades’ Rays on plains hazel veiling Halo railroad polaroid flail lackadaisical[ly] Sapphire asphodel evangelical Yellowed bell sprouting velvet envelopes Creased steeples’ wreath Terpsichorean sea green Phoenix dodecahedron Wheels’ helix bristled lithium Nickelled twists onyx Cliffs thistles picture Ricochet jades braiding Mosaicked cratered crochet sable tornado Hurricanes rays palisading Rainbows corona unfolding shaded mazes Sheets ecru bloom parachuting Centrifuging illusions Luminous jewelry pewter tombs of Junipers jagged Jupiter Juicing jar jacaranda jellied jealousy Their doom illuminating Mushrooming rubies rhubarb carving arboretums Trees weave together heaven [Sunsetting nether reddened Nebula February’s hazelnut Maelstroms unfolding golden Formless [crisp crucifixion] ores Metamorphosis threading Web magenta penitentiaries, Tents entrails halo crocheting Green phoenix eden helix Cathedrals peeling fields Beacons leaping denims Tenebrous hallucinogenic Assemblage hedges blending Dimensions; unending ebbing Ebony resin tendrils folding Corona ocean cloaking orbits Roping colloquialism, Unspoken lotus (corroding soma oceans frescoed Sol Glass photographic rapids Jasper taffeta evaporate Wax aspens parthenogenesis; Brass [masked aphrodisiac glass] Blasphemy unwrapping daffodil, Maples debris defibrillating Shrapnel shells parhelion cells Yellowing sapphire asphodel Gelatinous pastels plastic plastured pastures Abstract fractals fracture Lovecraftian astronauts blotch Phosphorescent nectar, Outstretched zephyr etches Oasis gates sway) exfoliating (Shape glaciers paint Variegated suede emblazoned Rays posies rosary polaroid Corduroy foliage oil portraits Uncork fleury corridors Chlorophyll oars coral) Gladiolus custard rust (clustered cloud cast away fraying shade) Deconstructed fluctuating brushstrokes [Fringe Olympians singe infinity in gin] Yolk token oak porridge Gorge phantasmagorical] Echoes eidolon gold pandemonium Railroads coiling turquoise void Violas supernovas clovers Ambrosial molten photons Bond mitochondrial [amazon palms gauze collages mandala] Dilapidated pages’ oasis mosaic Variegating shade haloes corona Woven gladiolus posies Railroading frescoed celestial Sepulchres churning swirl thaumaturgical Pearl murals’ peeling ceilings Ethereal green terpsichorean Foresting oak uncork torching Metamorphosing orchid, orbs phantasmagoria Gorges amorphous porcelains Contortionists abyssal nickel Wicker lithium flickering pixel Pitch hieroglyphic vinyl’s Sunrising photosynthesizing iron spiral Kaleidoscope opal token Interloping cloaked topaz amber labyrinth Lamppost opium dystopian Invoking bloated sun Budding discoloured umbral tongues Thunderous umbrage covered lumber plums ruddier than canvas Hydrangeas ambergris eclipse eucalyptuses precipitation wastelands’ bangled dandelion Candlelight disentangle tan chrysanthemums Bronzed lozenge constellations jade painted shapelessness crystallines viscus monolithic Distances obelisks of gauzes transmogrifying Eyes caramelizing rhinestones Kaleidoscope oceans frescoing Sodium smouldering Latticed chasms’ abandonment Lavendering hurricane, Pages jade almond constellations Trellises’ velvet parhelion Lager transmogrify irises spiderweb thread Illegible headstones foaming Photographing lapis tapestries gelatinous leaves Rorschach factories baptized Smoggy dawn transmogrified iv[or]y vinyl Televised sunrising pyre Defying ivy colliding dyes kaleidoscopic Poplars carved cardigans Camouflage fleury mandala collage dawn August polymerization onyx Styx cauterizing bog halogen hemorrhage Vendetta tethering metallurgy Fleury curving hurricane veins, Veiling pale azaleas [failing gale paraphernalia] Flailing madly avalanching Branches blanch chrysanthemums tinge obsidian stitch glyph abyss eclipse Surrounded gallium flowers’ Unravel [towers] into Dull paper; matrix crystalline Spectral requiem perpetuated Defibrillations laced aether Glades shading pale shoal Shouting clouds of velvet Enveloped gelatos frozen apotheosis Frescoed sepulchres’ graffiti Eden unpeeling helix shapeshifting eclipses Wickers flicker florescent Beacons wreathed steeples pull universal Rays palisade acreages rhythmic Civilization painting maples unawakened Creation pasting pastured uncork Fortresses vortex porcelain amorphous Corduroy foliage bridging Photosynthesizing Gaia unwinding dime lilac Transmogrified isles spiral into Winter spring ginseng imitation Gauze mahogany swallowing Sunlights’ pike white ichor lichen Stitching glyphs whispering Crystalline begin scintillating Aeons andromeda Bottomless cosmos froze Apotheosis molten oceans Sol polaroid magnolia White scythes of lightning Strikes blitzkriegs’ edge rhododendron Rasping daphnes’ castaway Wrapping brass rafting taffetas Rapids waxing swath Cottons masquerading rain; Rays paisley braid veiled mosaic Lackadaisical haloes veil Maelstroms golden rosaries Unfolding amber pandemonium Collapsing lapises cauterized transmogrifying Shrapnel asphalt somersaulting Penultimate engulfed sulphur salsa electroconvulsive Chandeliers ethereally piers Mirrored murals spherical orange[y] corduroy Enveloping yellow daisy germanium glazings paisley palisading maze I wanted to sing, but I had no words to {give/offer} you I wanted to fly but I had no wings You stole from me what wasn’t mine, Now I sit on the banister alone Descending the unlimited stairs Into deepest darkness I sit still within the stillness The madness’s avalanching Within forests of coral (Mist, wreaths of peach gold-leaf steeple) Reefs leak ecru, blue (crowning Amalgamation cowl shallowed Gown constellations ravelling Bulb unwrapping blacken Capsized daffodil glass alabaster Damascus ash ivy photosynthesizing) Gilded lilies silver {gillies/sigil} Masquerading black factories Swaths brass tapestry asper Baptism ribbon(ed) lindens Rhythm swivelling gin Cinnamon sublime eye Swimming infinity brimming Liminal flecks of reconciliation Pillowing capillary soliloquizing Billowing out the smoky wine Brushstroke yolked polka dot blotch Camouflaged fog cauterizing Transmogrified vinyl asylum kaleidoscopic blossom Apotheosis cloaking kaleidoscope Rope orbs accordion floors Anthropomorphic orchards Forklift porcelain florins torches metamorphosis Wandering through the depths of maleficent malcontent effigies Down into the blacked space between white noise Echoing devolving into desolation, unendingly descending despairs’ dormant in a dandelion The blackhole of an iris worms its way through black dirt Plants itself a cornea into one mind; Seeing chaos in [a] neon coloured {cloud/lights/signs} The sickness of a white picket Fence has left me noncompliant, Noncommittal, nonsensical I see what no one else would Want to see, a nothing, and in it, The death of nothing; leaking Watercolour down its cross, Where in the crucifixion, The crucible of crust constructed Waters the earth in burgundy Loss tremors like a heart And nails itself to the wall like taxidermy; Another empty moosehead, The result of a battle between Firearm and deer; creationism It lacks eyes to see, and so it is blind, With a love so {deep/blind} It creates equal hate; creationism {To/do-not} look me in the {face/eye} And call me a {coward/monster/liar} Or merely a nonbeliever, when God is simply a[n] {concept/idea/sentence/word} not unlike metaphor Willing something into the shape of something else, but formless *Like water* For something to be torn apart, it has to be born Or treasured Something to believe in, [or vilify] Something to deify, to drown {out-to/in}, [to] masturbate [to] Something to {become/forget} I believe But believing in one hurricane Can not save me from the others Still I watch as the masses paint themselves In civility, remorse, and act as if They haven’t killed people like me a dozen times an hour I sit alone as they point and laugh I walk through empty classrooms, Where the once-children sit And follow me with their cruel unflinching eyes In time I have come to hate Them for how they [{once/now}] hate[d] me I have become the monster I saw them as in their [two] eyes *Reflected back at me* See, there is a sickness in this World that cannot be overcome There is a sadness so great, That it might as well be The word of a prophet People need hatred to love, Those who claim love will create hate to achieve it, to worship it, to kiss its feet [Their love is false] People are not good to each other Faith denies faith, man denies woman, Woman denies man, [faith denies science, Science denies faith]; a {circle/cycle} People who want equality will step on those above them and take their place Those who seek shelter will burn Down mercilessly whatever Sanctuary they cannot have Those who betray someone’s Trust will continue to trust no one But their shadow, and create more {Men/shadows} like {him/them} Those who are [|seen/described} As] honest {are/can-be} our greatest liars Those who forgive cannot be forgiven *[The strangest outcasts of society May be discarded by becoming (the) closest (thing) to a {human-(being)/homo-sapien}]* *[Alone, untouched, unspoken to]* *[Their hatred is perfect]* See, it is in their hate that We see [who rules] this world, The world does not run on fossil fuels, or uranium The world does not run on politics, or [on] religion The world does not live through science, Civilization, architecture, or modern medicine The world is not {ruled/painted} by-the-fabrics-of bombs or guns,-by-pagans By pride flags, by poets, or drugs, antidepressants, or love It does not live through flood of food or water-or-blood-or-lineage It does not live in literature, film, or any form of art The world bears our human sin
“Marx be damned” “The sin is not the totality of certain systems” “Christianity be damned” “The sin is not the killing of a God” “People are just not good to each other”-in-hatred,-we-are-equal The world turns, and In our hatred we are connected, in our hate, [we are beautiful, in our hatred(we-are-loved)] In our hate we are {free/divine/one} Hatred provides structure, shelter [from opposite ideologies, for the likeminded] {We/people} need a {purpose/a} reason, [an excuse] to survive before their hearts shrivel[led] [Like a dandelion (pretending to be an inside-out rose)] [(It’s as simple as that, like chewing on hard candy, {between/the} {teeth/wrinkles} of cities)] Like skyscrapers grasping planets)] Hate is “an
errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill” We need villains as much as, [more, than] we need heroes To hammer down the bent nail into the wood, we hate those who stick out Difference is a danger, a [red] flag,(or-any-colour) A decay, a desiccation filled with the enemies of the world We see difference as a detriment, A disability, a decimation, a deformity, not a humanity We seek to destroy as we build ourselves up *Those who stand tall will find themselves on their knees [eventually]* Praying to a god who {will/does} not {believe in them/exist} We hate those who have more than we have With what little we-do have we hate, we bet on hate, we hope We hate those who hate; [we hate those who don’t know {how(or)/why/what-it-is} to hate] *We hate those who have something we don’t-those-who-are-who-you-aren’t* You hate me to dignify yourself You hate to justify, judge and execute;-hate-is-your-excuse Hate is a ticket to a show everyone wants to see; but no one wants to {be-a-part-of/audition-for} You hate to entertain yourself, to bring [some] meaning to nothing, [to meaninglessness;] [Your {only/true} salvation] And you hate [to] know[ing] me without even knowing me You hate to feel, to see, to smell, to taste, to hear [to make sense of] In-this hate you have a sixth-sense. You hate to deify, to love The genius of it, the ignorance, the beauty [to make {the-world/it} your own (playgrounds)] To kill anything [to kill] anyone To justify cruelty To not feel small To compare the evil to the good To compare freedom to slavery To compare victory to defeat To compare mercy to death. There is no difference Belief is an illusion Belief is an echo chamber Belief is a war [worth winning] Hate is our remedy Hate is our God *Will you hate me to selfishly love yourself?* *What will you do {when/with} your hate (runs out)?* *[When you {deal-with/face} the repercussions]* Of your finite {anger/fear} What of-[{you/me/us}] will be left? What will keep {you/me/us} going [without that hate]? [Where will (y)our hate be then, when it runs out, (will it fester into a flower, drunk in the rain?)] There are those who seek power, The power to create, the power to destroy, To subjugate to control, to crucify They think that hatred means strength, means freedom {And/maybe} if they {couldn’t-be-more/are} right I would not suffer, now {[At]the/most} people must always Have their freedom, [even] Above the freedom of others To abandon [their] freedom is [mental] suicide Freedom is a prison for all but the {Nonbelievers/likeminded}; For all the forgotten {Likeminded/nonbelieving} fools We take freedom in[to our hands] The same way some killers Believe in [their own] justice Freedom is a weapon Freedom is a license-for-a-gun,-[an-alibi,-an-excuse] There isn’t enough to go around Are your hands clean? What is freedom? But to overpower, conquer control, and overcome the will of others, and break Free from the chain we bind {others/them/ourselves} from? To do anything, to take blind opportunity {from/to-kill} anyone To subjugate the weak-and-overwhelm-the-strong Like taking a bite out an ice cream cone Is my freedom heavier than yours? Can you {bear/shift} the weight of {My/a} {burden/chainlink-fence} [You don’t want to bear]? *[Or will you leave it by the Roadside, like trash, picked clean A dandelion in the rain?]* But the tree outside doesn't seem to know, I watch it swaying there in the autumn afternoon sun The fledgling birds wish to leave their nests, the butterflies migrate for greener pastures The seagulls hug shorelines The flower born from dirt reaches for the iris sun *But the flower doesn’t know;* *I watch it {move/wither} swallowed by the {rain[&]/drought}* *It cannot recognize the difference Between good and evil in your eyes* But in finding {meaning[and]/merit} in hatred [instead of love] We destroy ourselves for the need to be better, [For the thrill] we kill each other To {remember/pretend-we-know} what it means to live Imagery ripped to pieces Form a disappetite for difference in the bare naked eye *From the inside* We are all walking corpses Trying not to be swallowed up By this earth’s majesty, it’s beauty We are all scarecrows Blinded by shadows on the walls [We {clothe/close} {ourselves/our} {In/eyes}] Light and dark, the microcosm, and the macrocosm, deity, and devil, good, evil, Slavery, freedom, etc. Two faces of a coin but at some Point it may just land on its side if only we had some form of hope I’m afraid the not so different will {Destroy/kill} {themselves/each-other} {Because/for} {of/their} {Their/slight} difference[s] In the name of [some (warped)] freedom From thesis and antithesis we Could be {one/shattered} [together] But the sun continues to shine And life is divergent *[Like soft rain, music, whispers, melody, artwork]* *[Like the efflorescent tides]* *[Life {is/should-be} a sense Of blissful unrippling peace]* *[Meadows of gold pandemoniums’ Coronas Sol exfoliating Paint oasis variegated suedes paisley]* Like the spring the summer and the fall Or the rising and falling Of a single breath [or a {Reddened/blueish} {sun/moon}] Now, I watch the grass move In the wind outside my house, like clockwork Elysian streams bleeding green Seas in reed leaves between trees; peeling terpsichorean Amorphous forests of Damascus’ Asphodels velvets cellos Trellised amethyst hydrangeas Molten yolks lotuses exfoliating Smouldering turquoise violas’ Above thunderously rust[l]ing The world {is/merely} {waiting/waits} Maybe somewhere along the way, I forgot to {look/listen/care} *[{To/for} {you/me/us/some-reason/it}]* *[In the ever changing expanse Of nothing, somewhere in the anemoia Of a photograph the shape of abstract, some ball of mud The sound of silence; The colour of shadow, The darkness of light, In the stillness of {music/movement}, Like a book without words, Only pitch black whitewashed pages, Onyx lace constellation Transmogrification bobbing Like (a) masquerades halo]* A streetlamp like a buoy [Drifting] in the [dull] darkness Like oceans of ink Smiling like a black rusted nail Vast pastels aphrodisiac lacquer Passionate accents fashioned collapsing Enveloped in yellow golden Primordial solars polaroid void[s recoiling foliage oil portraits] *Metamorphosing orchard chlorophyll Builds gilded willowing vermillion chiselling whittled pillow swilling cerulean* In a mere image In reflection Before memory become ash; [As such is the ways of this world (By letting go of my hatred)] Even I {Will/may} find {my/a[n]} [{Way/final/own/true/end}] {Home/answer/peace/emptiness/to-war} I know
“More haters than lovers”
“All the life running through her hair” My shadow
“He filled his eyes with them. He was in error” “Onward like them to all my wars I go” For this is {All/who} I am *{Or/and} [ever] {was/could-be}* A [faint] shadow reaching {out/towards} To the distant [tapestry of {a/endless}] horizon *|A lead paper clip|* *Somewhere [in the blank(et) paper Of] your formaldehyde eyes*
Who put this brain inside of me? “It cries” “It demands” “It says there is a chance” “It will not say” “‘No’” But I am {A/no} fool Just another {ignorant/voice} Just the sum of many, many, many, plain, Unforgivable, unnecessary forgotten, Unsaid excuses, lost in the subway; Like madmen, like soldiers, like killers
“So many, many, many” “Of my fellow creatures”
“Dreams are made, winding through my head” “Before you know, awake” A bluebird A wooden cross A checkered flag A dandelion seed swivelling Through a field of {granite/green/oaken} {Memories/photographs/branches} Somewhere {before/beneath/in/between/below/at} The {bombshell/bottom/shrapnel} Of my [{dull/hollow}] Heart[‘s {tarp/escarpments}] Time does not wait for me Only follows Like the rain After the summer sun I flew, once; fleetingly, [too close(ly) [(To it-{all/that-sun})], [and it was] as if I [(n)ever] had wings In the first place And not just one hand full of red wildflowers One hand {Bent/warped/twisted} into prayer beads Like pieces of a mountain {Of/all} your muddy arms Slowly drifting Down through the forest Somewhere [lost] in the {stagnant/static} [{Air/water} of a] river [of {word(les)s/cacophony}] Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? An echo, of an echo [of an echo] A dream of another [man’s] dream [Waking up {in/to} delusion] A shadow on the walls [Waiting to bloom {full-of/into} {colour/mania} again)] Stretching to the sunrise [like crooked trees] [Holding up heavy crowns] [Chain-smoking their green leaves] If only for a moment of empty sky reflection I see myself Sitting among the daisies In a still field Watching, [waiting until,] the world end[s for the final time] The words [left] unspoken Born out of that I had no choice but to {abandon/burn/bury} them and remember Your irreconciliation As the windmills turn [in tandem] As the petals fall, [from a withered rosebed] As the infinite dwindles [into one fleeting moment] As the corn rots [in a dilapidated field] As the skies darken [before nightfall] As the people wander; [through an empty corridor] As the streets stretch [on towards oblivions’ gates] Eventually, you’ll understand [As sure as the sun shines] *That I love[d] you* *[And that in loving you (freely), I (am still) {exist/here/happy}]* [If only] in a memory
“Although I must be innocent,” “Now I am punished. I think my freedom” “Cost me dearly, but I don't have” “The guts to sell my soul so cheaply” “Although I must be innocent,” “Now I am punished. I wasn't the one” “Who sewed those seeds, but” “Nevertheless I have to pull up the” “Flowers that bloomed from them.” I never knew any better; this Is who I [really] am, brother Just another malformed poem; Written into the frontlines of a newspaper {Waging/wars} {war/wage} {on/until} forever-behind-bars Words standing in a long line, Waiting for the period at the End of their [run on (sight)] Sentence; [serving-drinks] some{where/time} Between the bars of a page; Stories and stories metamorphosing into Skyscraper constellations [A prison of verbs outstretched Towards that angry sun; Like the hands of God’s antithesis] [I wr{i/o}te] a tower of metaphor Edifices crystalline whisked Lithium pitch cliff drift Nickelled Styx Sanskrit eclipse hieroglyphic Homunculus blossoming steampunk Arrases gloss consumption pumping sarcophagus psychotropic Flannel channels piano candles’ tangling gin Seraphim amaranthine; bangled chandeliers pier Below the golden corona phantasmagoria [Fabric psychosomatic patterns Avalanched branches amaranth] Tarnished arms of harbour Arboretum carve bronze phoenix Out of brown cowls medallion flowering Orichalcum’s velvet parhelion Smog Augusts cosmopolitan Strawberry flared alstroemerias sclera Spectral electrum sepulchre stirred Bourbon churn hurricane rain; Bays shade beige rays [Opal cornucopia yolk brushstrokes torching uncorked token oak] My shadow
“{He/we} filled {his/our} eyes with them. {He/we} {was/were} in error” “Onward like them to all my wars I go” “Dying as they died, in gore and [in] terror” [Blindly feeling my way in through this dark] Looking for the tunnel at the end of the light Still flickering there Unraveling into roses Like a spent match; or a [fizzling] neon sign Free from the absence of light Everything has its end I don’t intend to {go/leave/pass/die} so {eagerly/easy/early/peacefully} I may be a madman, in love With a world that does not love me, yet I am no fool I don’t intend to fall again [From such {great/high} heights] But a man who expects me to do so, [To suffer unfairly for no] [Reason but (to satisfy) my own self pity] And deliberately waste my life, [For the sake of nothing, And no one] is [sorely mistaken] I am not so vain [or cruel] That I would not feel small Under the weight of {this/a} {summer/setting} sun And not savour its rises again in the morning Or any other morning; at that As it will be there all the same [and] It will be there when I’m gone [somewhere in your kaleidoscope eyes] It is a comfort to know Like one dandelion in a meadow [or a purple spotted Rorschach maelstrom] of immaterial gold Sometimes; there is a light in {that/this/the} darkness [Even in the depths of a Hollow heart there is (still) Some (abstract form of) redemption] *A door open a crack; Unhinged from the one [still]-frame of a second[‘s portrait] * But like them, I too must go Out to meet my [inevitable] war With more than [just (those Damascus gaps gelatinous Flowers of forgotten] words [between outlines] Where are the years of [my] old [life]? Sometimes I {seek/hear} Their memory down stream [In a forest of mumbling words, (I call my home)] Pieces of my past {ripple/ripe} Reflected like the summer sun somewhere in the river Float past variegated oasis Amorphous porcelain vortex opalescent text depths etching crepuscular Where hate was all but swallowed by the noise of heavy water Pulling under calligraphy’s fields Into inkblot funnelled sun Time marches on like a fallen soldier cradled by Valkyrie and angels After a battle lost Without knowing {the-difference/(or)the-loss} [His body (still) holding itself upright on the hill, (he wanders onwards, not knowing)] Still stumbling through there, {half-alive/reaching-out} [Brother, (I’m sorry, I can not separate these evils from the good for you)] *Insanity; is doing the same thing And expecting a different result [to occur]* *Life was a question* This {isn’t/wasn’t} {the/my} answer It never really was[, yet] *There was no [other] choice* Onward like them to all my wars [I go] Onwards, like them [We march (towards The end of a-deaf sentence)] [Into absolution(’s setting sun)] [We (who) were] mistaken *We who were* *Forgotten in the dark* *To smoulder caught in the Rain like a blackened Whitewash of muddy river water*
“Father (father)” “Father (father)” “Father (father)” “Father (father)” “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” “Father, into your hands” “Why have you forsaken me?” “In your eyes forsaken me” “In your thoughts forsaken me” “In your heart forsaken me, oh” *This life is a prison, A psyche ward of whites Blackened crowded hospital Overflowing Sol with static Voices, shrivelling in a void Coiling spiralling alive With irises twine transmogrified*
“Although I must be innocent,” “Now I am punished.” [How] have you forgotten? I am still here *As the sun shines* *As the clouds pass* *As the trees sway [elastic pastures Fractals plastics’ pastured Plastered wax tapestried] In [wheezing breeze] the [Scintillating] wind [salt electroconvulsive]* Pulsating creation lace constellations Traced paste glaciers condensation Mapping dilapidated *Spinning into luminous blooms* *As the green grass flows Like a carpet in the wind* *As the city’s ambience draws In closer pastel’d velvet parhelion* *Although I am innocent* I watch time pass the way an old friend does observing shadows on the walls, thinking they are {The/only} {only/the} sum of this world, {the/only} {only/the} {life/light} *[{Born(out-of-that)/from}] Behind the bars of a sentence* *The silent orchestra sits [Holding instruments of war]* *In between the labyrinth of a mind [(Lost {again/in}) the brain of a jigsaw (A colourless Rubik’s-cube) that subdivides like prison cells loudly, blooming into union and Entomb centrifuging jewelry]* *Spirals into {a/sweet} nothingness [{as-if/which(mutters)}]* It-wasn’t-me-who-closed-the-door;-{look/it}-{at/was}-you;-I never really left [you]
13. With You Although the prozac couldn’t help you And the groups didn’t help you, [And the treatment hasn’t helped you] And the *[(preachers, and the)]* Nurses [and the doctors (And the psyche ward, and the city)] Wouldn’t help you And the walks through a Crowded stark white Corridor didn’t help you And the people and the places [And the (things, and the poets, And the) pills (still)] haven’t helped you Although the sickness didn’t kill you And the sadness didn’t snuff you And your reflection didn’t look recognizable Just [{left/like}] an afterimage pleading to be face down, dead In a brown puddle on the stark white sidewalk Or a chemical bath of [mixed Bag maybe it’ll work] medications Or a psychotic breakdown Of your frail ego and weak Tears [in a now near-empty sterile hallway] Or a {kind/form} of sadness people Couldn’t {hear/understand} Among the [ensemble of (an)] {Uninterrupted/[static]} traffic [(Jam,) as they just make their way home, deafened (lost yet found,) {Indistinguishable/innocent/(undesirable)/irredeemable}] As the clock ticks [and points senseless with its {fingers/thousandth-hand}] As the clouds ravel into different meaningless shapes *Tangling together* As the prisoner sheds his [rusting rib]cages and becomes a butterfly *In an old garage* *Time still watching from the windowpanes* And leaves the mortal coil twisted [into ones’ black line across the white void] *Reflecting one period blackened at the end of* *A sentence to serve [in the apple of an eye (like taking a bite out of the blistered summer sun)]* As the cells subdivide {prisoner/into} a body trapped within itself As the wor[l]ds come and go *Black or white abysses, crystalline figs of imprisoned cinnamon timber lindens crimson winter Shadowed by their etching; Simply one side or the other; [{Tied/carved} into (nail Driven schisms {tinging/colours} Spun in {plummeting/thundering} {Umbral/tongues}) {knotted/meaningless} {Zigzagging/patterns} spiralling Rays parade braided waves of {Pages/faded} hurricane {maze/paisley’s}-fabricated-ricocheting- Haloes {Rorschach/lead-poisoned} Unfold {corona/aroma} of lotuses Exfoliate corduroy roses, {Bloated/corroded} smouldered thing, Foliage portrait {bridging/amygdala} Ribboning prism composing Sol’s pandemonium in (coral) forests (orchards porridges rivulets a yolk uncork) Metamorphosing vortex of vorpal porcelain wings]* Like truckers Like the seasons, [Like a blackened sun or a tapestried moon] Like hemlock As the seconds crawl, through the wormhole of an hour As the minutes [dig trenches,] Drag themselves through the mud [Waging {war/(looking)} for Nothing (and for) no {one/reason}] *[As the stars sit now, In a once empty sky]* *As the trees watch you And the birds watch you* *As the students and the[ir] teachers Mingle together [blanketed (By love)] in their [insecure] naivety* *{Like/believing} the years will last Forever; if only in their ignorant hearts* *As the cold wind {blows/drafts/sings} Another {forgotten/unparticular/unpleasant} Song; across the endless Echoes of silences’ [and melodies (Dancing mad in ugly {nothingness/labyrinthine}) Wanting little more than freedom)]* *As the earth turns [itself over (In an endless sleep)]* *As the telephone cables sag; [Hanging from (grey) rotting wood]* *As the vultures crow, feathered wings [of steel] Reaching out [to heaven’s splendour in a dead parthenogenesis]* As Nirvana becomes limbo As the tide rolls a cigarette As the sun stares back like A blank {slate/sky/canvas} bored with the earth As the breeze walks with You and the clouds touch you *As all of existence blurs Into one moment; {one-word/one-note}, Like the {nondescript/blink} of a {Neon/kaleidoscope} [ivories Vinyls’] eye [fibrously Unwinding vines pyres] {spiralling/colliding/still} [Twine transmogrified] Chiming skyscrapers makeshift Glyphs pitch lithium picturesque etch [Rhododendron resins tethering Feather lead stroke tenebrous oak token cork metamorphosing] Winding irises spiderweb thread ebony reds’ nebula nether Armageddon Everest tarnishing eclipse twisted crucifixion pixie apparitions all creation, [watching time] *Sitting crosslegged bored waiting for the[ir] subway [car]* You are not alone I Am [still] {here/with-you/[by-your-side-(forever)]} If you want me to be
14. Continuation (Acoustikinesis) [Shadowed {arms/eyes} erupt Like butterflies from the caliginous {Dirt/forest} boreal fleury Metamorphosis of cocoon moons Parachute consuming junipers In blond dawn transmogrification] Phases braid decaying daisies Parading rays glaze suede Frayed pages mosaic oasis Paisley maze hurricane everglade Tenebrous lotus exfoliated paints Variegates lace space constellations Barricaded layers precipitation Glacier make shapelessness glyph eclipse Shrapnel asphodel melding yellow Parhelion swan chiffon dawn obelisk blond onyx lager tawny transmogrified spiral ivy Kaleidoscope Vinyl pines turpentines ivory unwind Gaia tie tide photosynthesizing Knives iris abyss wick polymerized Briars scythe bible lime fibrous’ Papyrus formaldehyde Eye jaws constellation Bronze tarnished cobbling Obelisk harvested glyph lithium riptide Bonfire asylum asymmetrical Bethels’ vessel orchestral effigies knead Bleaching wheat leafy Steeple peak ethereal [sheets] Fields helium peeling ceiling teal onomatopoeia Murals empyrean bend hallucinogenic Gems assemblage bottomless Constellation shape pasted bogs Of onyx crystal discombobulated Gorges formless uncorking Metamorphosing hinges Infinite print ribbon trim photosynthesis The wooden fingertips of Leaves hug pewters hallways [Corridors form from chlorophyll Willow sigils billowing in Spring’s tinge linen photosynthesis] Primordial phantasmagorical Ore terraforms woven Ambrosial Sol pandemonium [Swilling chiseled whittling Rings incendiaries blare into June] [Luminous fume plumeria Serendipity’s twist stitching Styx glyph silver cherry marinading] [Nickel hickory of tarnished Lithium pixelated plaited saturated] [Clay polymerization suede Pavement blade haloes Mosaic glades braiding condensation] [Clouds ravel javelins Babel Shrouding gown boughs Sourdoughs shapeshifting phoenixes] [The Eden seedlings breezing Terpsichorean helix weaving arboretum] [Beaded onomatopoeia sheath Their blades of grass triathlon] [Cycling through the ripe Summer budding as a flower petals] [Malachite scythe of a Candlelit moon blued entomb centrifuging jewelry] [Incandescent crests that paint Oasis in grey shapelessness, flaking maples] Etched into pestilence vesicular Vessels step into the depths Of bethels phosphorescently Cotton swabs bronze constellations Of plum bloodlines drawn In the sands, metallurgical [Reconstructing lustrous puffing Borealis as green intravenous Thunderclap Rorschach’s gelatinous, Shrapnel unwraps brass rapids A cardiovascular baptism; Glass dilapidated faces Sway like shades of bottomless Blonde transmogrification] [August foggy bodies of Water samsara dart with Cartilage of Tartarus, blanch out-branching Sanctums ankh chrysanthemums] [Trampled over clovers embroidering Foliage smouldering covers budding] [Fields’ of cerise trees saffron Auburn lagers choreographies] [Assemblages’ dove funnelling Sunset depth tresses (inter)meshing] [Collected effigies dot the Kaleidoscopic tied toss of Pockmarked carpet; pretzeled Gout emptiness penitentiaries Magentas entrails pale azalea; Gouache blotches dock faucets Psychotropic apotheosis’s Oceans chalk coffins’ moksha’s Oxygenated constellations] [Grinding of the gears That sweat rust like dust Onto the gelatinous afternoons Infusing entombed ludicrous, Hues bloom all-consuming] [Bottomless obelisks’ of Tawny mitochondria draw Themselves in the valves experimentalism] [Prisons of lindens image Scissoring ginseng obsidian Rhythmic photosynthesis as it Drips abyssal Styx serendipitous Precipitation face glaciers Totem of Asmodeus’ Sagittarius] Tomorrow morning is purgatorial Orange orb corridors forged From torch Sol metamorphosing [Torrents of centuries passing Through these collective unconscious Like electroconvulsive salsa, Cultivating creation, acreages bridging obsidian] [Prisms fingertip glyphs of mithril Lithium pits eclipsing evisceration lace] [Paradisiacal spiralling vinyls Xylophone eye pyre irises Jambalaya Sanskrit eclipse Nickel inconspicuous eucalyptus Whisk diamond lilac photosynthesizing Violet capsized fibre ivory Twine caramelize sunrise hieroglyphics] Praying to hazel napalm Molotov Chamomile camouflage collage, Mandala champagne chardonnay Bottomlessness onomatopoeias Pyres spiral into sinew Centrifuging musicals pulling rosemary’s [From the hazy bouquet of Vertebrae glades discombobulated] [Shackling sacrament bent resin Flower cowl petal hallucinogenics Carpet tenebrous lotus Parthenogenesis tendrils of red incomprehensible] Opal apotheosis molten token Yolk uncorked oak metamorphosis [Sunsetting metallurgy iceberg Thaumaturgy hurricanes eye Transmogrified kaleidoscope Entrails magenta fentanyl tent penitentiaries] *Bent into renaissance* Clementine wine spiralling hieroglyphs Glyph pitch nickel phoenixes Wind photosynthesize Crystallized eyes colliding wide polymerization [Torch orchids fleury orchestras Buzz covers ruddied penumbra] [Howling at the moon; the wolf devours himself] Choirs of suicidal sunrises pyre into blue sky [Widening blindly spidering gelatinous Grass asphalt fighting for a breath Efflorescences nectar, Sepulchres in depths bioluminescence] [Pastel umbrella eldritch yellow Trellis ghetto melancholy Watermelon swelling envelopes Mandalas evangelical Emerald hallucinations] Cellos of posies forests Roaring [open ocean] metamorphosis [Corridors of fleury phantasmagoria, Forging torn porridge gorges] [Sulphur gulfs’ culture arching Carpets tarps arching parchment Arctics darkness darting eyes Of stark isolation’s marred compartmentalization] Meadows’ pastel enveloping parhelion Dawn lager bottomless eclipse, linen photosynthesis [Lithium abyss cliffs nickel Chipped onyx hieroglyph Styx] [High-rise leviathan papyrus Bibles colliding kaleidoscope token] Poplars char Chardonnay Rays suede haloes paisley transmogrification [Glaciers burn in the setting Sun thunderclap gelatinous synapse] Aspens’ haemorrhage blending Assemblage blotchy clouds Amalgamating constellations [Shapeshifting nickel sycamore Spores coral forests shoring chlorophyll] Sway parading haloes rosé glaze Wicker hickory Icarus eclipses’ Eclair canary marionettes dejected Bethels of crowded clouds Babel enamel Sol phantasmagorical [Avalanching chrysanthemums Blanket jams anchor panko swollen roses] [Nebulas dove ruddied sunflowers Malleable shallows hallowed Palisade grey polymerization] Ragged scabbard lavender labyrinth pencils pretzel’d nonsensical entrails {I/we} do not love you I never (really [{came to/did}]) love(d) you I echo Only, myself Can you (not) hear {it/me} My voice is crying (out [from silence]) [(In madness, in chaos, in order)] Rorschach roses Under golden pandemonium Sol Embroidery coiling magnolia foilage [Entangled in {this/my/a} forest of {Many/mangled/hanging} {hands/noise/branches}] {Drawing/drowning} you {closer/deeper} Into (the {sound/depths} of) my {symphony/shadow} Uninterrupted static Dancing [madly] In the wind
“Hang my head” “Drown my fear” “Till you all just disappear” Even I {will/may} find my way home In {an/a} {old/memory}, {photograph/maybe} [Perhaps] And pretend I’m not [a] dead [man (still ignorantly walking)] Towards a reds sun that will never rise again Towards a cool breeze that Tugs at my [puppet] strings The moon that reaches for something [true] Beyond its [superficial] grasp And finds only its reflection in these black[out] waters Shadows that reach out Staring back at him Like the ends of a world that came and went *[Can you hear it? This Electroconvulsive sulphur Palpitation waltzing salty, Within sky these Penultimate waves, Oceans rouge one within orchards Torching quarters’ orb Florins metamorphosis]* *[Malted alternative]* *Sunsetting Armageddon in heaven’s nether Denim, lead edifice eclipsed* *Like dandelions spreading across The burnt edge of a bible page Rolling greasy cigarettes of smoking Hamilton factories* Like the final {line/defeat/road/verdict/sentence} {In/on/through/told} {The/a/golden/to/through} {Draft/stalemate/valleys/shells/husks} of {History/tomorrows/metempsychosis/men/youth} Like {a/an} {battlecry/echo} {Forgotten/unheard} [I {find/seek} {solace/shelter} in my Isolationism, in my calm yet selfish nature] There was a light blossoming in the darkness *But its gone now*
“I will remember before I forget [Before I forget that]” [You are no more than a childhood memory] A mistake, a nostalgia trip of my own vulnerability I won’t be weak like you Trampled [into dust(y highway)], like you Broken down into nothing [(a sick joke not un)like you] [Born] for the sake of nothing knowing nothing living and suffering in that nothing for no reason No purpose, lost [Dying in my own filth, {just/like} A kind hypocrite, (like you)] Accepting everyone with open arms, No matter how they destroy you [How they hurt you], {is/so} Idiotic, [(so) ignorant (like you)] *[(I live for no one, but myself)]* [To be so pure (of heart) is almost an insult] [I could never be as kind as you, so instead] Since this cruel world made me unkind I accept no one I love no one Because no one has truly Loved me, I hate them [for it] Because no one has done Right by you I hate them [for it] *Because they cannot {Reject/understand/see-past} The story behind their {cruel/blind/empty} {Reality/purpose/meaning} [Built] {in/of/from} [them alone, Their mislead path and of] their Own fake hatred, I hate them irreparably* *[They are as {misguided/many} as they Are (lost &) {unquestionably(and)/incurably} mad]* Because their hatred is false Because they killed you [(For nothing,) I hate them for it] *[I find it hard to forgive, (As if you’d never been there)]* As if you never gave them their Flowers [by the bunch(es)] As if you never cared They could kill me a hundred times And it would mean {nothing/little}I-should-have-cried;-I-could-have-been-completely-irrevelent [But you, you were irreplaceable, irrelevantly loving me] But I no longer can believe In you, and your fragile beauty [Walked over like-so-much broken {glass/egg-shells}] Your {stupid/broken} stained glass You were no more than The falsehood that replaced you Your kind[li]ness won’t save You [and certainly] won’t save me I cannot win wars with words, I simply would not survive [I {do/no} {not/longer} Have the privilege (or the luxury) to be weak like you] *But the leaves, I watch them dancing in the wind, and they remind me of you[r] *[Malignant fragility, incomprehensible compassion]* *[(I do not have the opportunity to care)]* *[(Nor the stomach, for Thoughtlessness, for obedience)]* *[Nor the {heart/pity} (or the Patience) to tell you otherwise]* *[(Nor the stupid optimism Required to live a life in vain)]* *[Gardening in (a) {Maelstrom/arboretum’s} Of {dandelion/weeds} *Searching blindly for a single Petal in a meadow of wilted blooms* *[(Pulling up the past {from/and/for} {Its/old/dead} roots)]* *[(As if there’s anything left to salvage but {faded/meaningless} {memories/salvation})]* *Because I know hate* *[And this strange hypocrisy you {made/built} {me/in} {from/me}]* *[(I blame you for)]* *It keeps beating into arrhythmic concertos* It fuels this machine, this rusted iron cage [I call, my heart] *[But] I do not know why* As the engines {break/drone} As the sun shines As the eagle hunts As the clouds float As people pass each other in their [Own {grey/nocturnal} Eventual everyday] isolation [As the hitchhiker waits alone, On a scraggly highway] As castles of cards fall upon empty tables As the photograph burns [Itself into dilapidated memory] As the empty house finds [its] new occupants As the baby robins {learn/leave} {To/the} {fly-(the)/nest} *As the dreamer wakes from An[other blued] afternoon nap* As the geese migrate And the cars move Like speeding bullets {in/on} a {chamber/highways} As the prison cells [sub]divide [As the caterpillar warps in metamorphosis] As the dead decompose into flowers
“And the killer will behead the child” “Like taking a bite out of an ice cream cone” {As/until} the world remembers Until the colours fade *[Together into one portrait]* Until the church bells chime Until the memory dies Until the spirit Leaves the body *The spiders spin their webs Waiting {for/to-suck-dry-juicy} {Prey/horseflies}* *The leaves, I watch them Dancing in the wind [so elegantly]* Like two elderly people [falling asleep in the same bed, only to wake up (a tangled mess beside Each other)] waltzing [in togetherness] *Like a light of outstretched greys; [hugging zigzagging zebra piano keys terpsichorean]* *[Cigarette smoke floats] like a secondhand memory [hazy]*
“Running away is easy” “It’s the living that’s hard” “And loving you was easy” “It was you[r] leaving that scarred” *Rays of topaz sunlight [Creating a shadows Ravelling clouded Babel]* *Crossing seas of branches, Sail through the blank pages Forests into the neon sunsetting* *[Edifice’s crystalline twist Hickories phoenix nickelled tarnish eclipse* *Glyphs mithril gilded bougainvillea Whittling tinged obsidians Gin rhythm photosynthesis* Until the end begins to dream Again; [(one, full, moon) until] tomorrow *Until {the-day-I’m-done/the-moment-I-am-gone/then}*
“[Silence, legion], save your poison” [Silence, legion], stay out of my way” I left to find my own way, brother {So/[to]} {lay-[down]/save} {your/[my]} petty {dreams/hate/memories/ambition/arguments/blasphemy} [aside] They are not {(t)here-(to)/welcome} [{for/to/here} ({you/me})] *[Can you see me?]* *{Like/what} I-[once] {was/have} {before/become[ing-this]}?* *[(Time {goes/has} {on/forgotten} {regardless/me})]*
“Time moves slow” “When you’re so alone” “Time moves slow” “When you’re so alone” Twisted into cruel caricature *[{I’ve/I} {lost/lack} all direction; (Words walk in a long straight line, Waiting for the falsetto {Rhetoric/period} at the end Of their sentence between love letters, And lost pages written, behind(s) Iron bars, drunk harbouring Blinks constellation reflected In your eyes like neon kaleidoscope, Chaos blossom phosphorus)]* Etch nectarines leaf terpsichorean <I’ve [re]written my own heart; can you read the rhythm?> Please Do not hate me [in turn,] for my irreconciliation It’s been too long *[(And there still really was no other way)]* To live, or to die [than this]
“Oh, I was once young,” “Oh, I was once unbelievably young!”
15. Maybe [Unfinished]
Knowing no one, But the ravens, [outside my window,] On dull worn dilapidated telephone cables, Cawing out reincarnation [ In the break of early sunlit morning And afternoon plume bioluminescent]* Zephyrs stretching depth perception Etching vortex amorphous Torching porcelain
tinging Like an echo of an opera singer, A strangled voice in a sea Of warring instruments louder Than boughs in opaque
hurricanes trailblazing maelstroms * An eye bouncing veined With [e]motion and image nauseating[ly] Waiting for the morning coral Gaia’s Transmogrified eye pyre
photosynthesizing By nature hugs the empty body of Mud-veins dirtied with stagnation, Pulsed electroconvulsive* For the fragile tranquil purpose of living, Bearing fruit, meaning
from the vine* Already baptized
in [the] {flame/fire}s [that purify] Of {a/this} [cruel] {razor/world} {Without/and-not} expecting to be cut [Like a line of tobacco
and smoked like a forest fires flaring cigar] [Frescoed into caliginous Outstretched depth
etching silhouettes]* The suns’ into dusk’s {Damnation/darkness/dim-rays/dyed/depths} Crepuscular sepulchres
thaumaturgical [Heaven or hell
(unhinged, warped into a sentence)] {There/meaning} {left/in} {for-us/this}, [(What iron will, will there be) What hope is there (for
us) to cling to (to love, here)?]* And subject ourselves to the nothingness {That-is/of} this world Home and society, born simply To die caged as {one,/a} free man, Knowing only death, born for no one, Taught for nothing, painting Ourselves upon the face of the earth, What is more worthless, Knowing only that one
purpose or discarding it)]? (And dark unfairly villainized phantoms, Us rejects, dull failures and vagabonds answerless)] {When-we’ve/we-who’ve} given up Everything [without even
a single second thought] Nothing [there] ever [was], We marched onwards,
through the gates of hell, along the sharp {edge/incline} of existence* [Like a shadow (of)
{the/some} scarecrow in a wicker man heart] Maybe {Know/understand} what it means to love [Without (equal portions of) {hate[(and)/terror]}, {See?-(And)/maybe,-(sort-of-somehow)}]* [{Against-God/(against-love,-&-joys)/against-humanity}]?* {Washed-out/torn-&-rippling} flag; Burning skies in the sunlight Dripping asphyxiated onyx
drawn transmogrification Into the [cracked
porcelain] sky [Covering freedom, madness] {Perhaps/maybe} but
[still] it tries somehow “Most peoples’ deaths are a sham. There’s nothing left to die” Except maybe our
childhood innocence Twisting nickelled
tarnished eclipse* [Among the golden dandelions, A shapeshifting {glyph/spectre} of the past Screaming with {a/the} (sewn) mouth [Full] of silence, full
of hollowness waiting like a blacked flag] We enter the future backwards. All we see are the scenes of the past, And no one cannot see the
views of tomorrow” An[other] {empty/broken}
promise* {Beneath/between/within/without/along/on} {The/a}
{sun/page[s]/words/line/way}* [And (all I*’ll*) ever
will be]* Alone in the dark [searching for (Starving for my)
redemption]* So I [dig a hole, and] bury it, mine
16. Hades’ Sightless
Shepherd A sightless shepherd lives in the apple of my eye; Low hanging fruit of our labours [Fall(s) from the tree (Like the hand of God bronzing Foggy ensemble dawn
auburn transmogrified)] Steeples folding golden Primordial forest orbiting organ metamorphosis* *Orchard porcelain form
corneas* Lotuses tenebrous yolk penny Ebbing tendrils of reds
parthenogenesis, Quarter ore metamorphosis* Umbrage thunder ruddied
covers In the {fingers/slipknot/blankets} of trees The rusted gouache blotch of its Black glass acetylene afterimage, Stained, whisked,
polished, scratched Unfold ghettos coal
rosaries* Gouache alabaster Damascus Blackboard nocturne’s coral gorge Orange gorge forest
metamorphosis* Phantasmagorias ores orchids Contorted cork yolk token opals Brushstroke cornucopia torch anthropomorphic* *Porridge florin
tourniquet eclipse* *The tinge obsidian
rivulets rosemary tinting slither ribboning lindens prism photosynthesis* Variegated beige pages
shading maelstrom chrome Into threaded needle, spun, Warped through luminous
root blooms Alabasters blacknesses waxing wanes [Rays braiding in beige constellations Basin grey
transmogrification]* Abyssal thickets whisking
lithium* Halos unfolding pale
golden swollen corona* Scintillated ray paisleys
sway shapelessness’s hieroglyphics* The latticed tapestry of a hurricane pinpricks its way through this mosaicked city; shapeshifting Polycrystalline paving pages waving creation
Variegate paint oasis
shapelessness Thread leathers reverend
of Armageddon Webs tendrils of nethers
entrails maelstroms Rosaries golden topazes Lavenders rinsed
labyrinthine Graffiti Eden peeling
empyrean murals Photosynthesis drifting
sickle mistral] Patterns lavender
amaranth branches Constellations created
shapeless gaping Avalon’s zigzagging
avalanche anchored sanctuaries] Phantasmagoria fleury orchestras form Orchards carving tar arboretums Streamless greenery
peeling turpentine Reddish nebula dove ruddy
budding Space immolating
wasteland chrysanthemum Speleothems blending
unending nether Serengeti Coronas golden void Sol
polaroid coin Glyph ricochet pavement
cents marmalade glades
emblazoned Hydrangeas pit sycamores
into metaphor Saturns’ tan blank lamp amplified Geyser eyes
transmogrified Sepulchred earth churning Fermented sentences Pretzel entrails pale
azaleas Orbit amorphous torchlit
abyss Whispering
tin tinged syringes] From rusting custard
percussion Enamel cowled flowering
galleries tower Lustre pustules pull
osmosis Golden smouldering fringe
continuously Cloaks vorpal uncorked
porcelain portrait Pitch bricks
hieroglyphics whisking cliffsides Frescoing tenebrous ocean
lotuses Etch thresholds primordial Orchards terraforming
coral temporal florins Aspens unwrapped
thunderclap sharpnel Transmogrified eye
formaldehyde knives Nocturne churns urban
furniture Essence zephyrs purr
burgundy bourbon Centrifuging yews
fuselage bridging Tomb cumulus musical ruby
doubloons Baking wasteland glaciers
curtains serpentine] Lacquers’ furnace burning
curtains birch Echoes psychosis
unfolding gold coiling Sol corduroy turquoise
oars Discombobulating
weightlessness abyssal viscous Reddened gem totem molten Lake acreage linen tinge
cinnamon Equilibrium skim
withering ballerina clouds Into indigo rivers
shivering images Linden vicinity
pincushion bushes] Untrimmed tinge rivulets
outstretching Serpentine leaves’
syllabus seas Speleothem led edge tenebrous Ghost milquetoast yolk oaks kaleidoscope Opium dystopian smoke stroke Uncorking cornucopia
floating metamorphosis Caliginous ribbon, wind
ivies photosynthesized sky Horizon subdividing vinyl
ties yolk metamorphosis Tokens topazes gladiolus
incorporeal kaleidoscopes Peridot blotchy gouache Cocytus Nocturnes’ phosphorus blossoming Arrases mockingbird churn Cathedral Eden’s bleached pinwheels Ethers beacon steeple bleached Leaf dawn constellation ({Shallow/empty/swallowing})
sea (of sins)] And those who have no
intention of listening Through a cable of iron,
twisted into chord Polymerizations face
discombobulated stasises defibrillating Vessels swim through
radio-wave ear canals Suede against rusted
rocks outcropping [gouache] shorelines [pines]* Cloud into unrecognizable
shapes* (Tie-dyeing vacancy of
the) shore(line)s]* Above the shadow city Mediocre {memory/melody} melded Parhelion chiffons auburn patterns Patchworks’
cardiovascular* Cerise sheets
terpsichorean peach* And stars down into the
ditch of Styx’s parthenogenesis* Glass tap aspens gelatinously alabasters Rorschach’s asphalt fractal malt Summersaulting salting electroconvulsive Salsas calcified eyed ivory horizon, Formaldehyde Gaia pine
photosynthesizing* Disembowel doused in
amalgam Gilding quilting milky silken green Trees’ leaf peachy steeples pillowy Soliloquy cerulean
guillotine* Meadow gold ambrosia
haloes corona* Amber chandeliers, flame germanium Waves frayed pages
polymerization glades’ constellations* Arteries leaf ecru
sun-bleached ether* Chlorophyll gilded silhouettes stretch into linden prisms Exfoliating paint
variegate lakes* {No/little/null} [difference to me;] {Salvation/in-its-meaning,-now/anymore} To bring some meaning to nothing, [{And/to} (its) meaninglessness; (Which is) your
({only/true}) salvation] [At the end of the crossroads of Nothing, and no
{one/where} [({Flaking/oak})
alabaster] trees* And waning into crescent
moons* Covers of thunderclap
shrapnel)]* Door
{[unhinged]/reopens}* Like any [{other/crystalline/uncut}] jewel* Seeing only his [lost]
flock; {somewhere/there} around the bend of a river Emaciated childhood[s], still, just sitting still, there, alone, waiting untouched unspoken to taken Fading away into the dark
arch carpet parchment darkness cartilage escarpments* The crueler it is, the
sooner it will be over." Of a straight razor. This is my dream; This is my nightmare. Crawling, Slithering, along the edge Of a straight razor, and
surviving.” For no one, but my own
satisfaction {Garden/field/meadow/forest/clearing/tree}* The truth he couldn’t
ever grasp (or gather)]; his own death Farmhouse of memories [ Tenebrous entrails gaze mosaics (Paisleys pages oasis maelstroms Paintings everglade tawny Bronze dawn
transmogrification)]* [Dull] dream; forgotten
and alone* {Everything/everyone}
and], {no-one/nothing}* {And/for} no one*+ Music, gathering in the
clouds amalgamated] Watch it with me Such is the constant motion of stillness Born from the eyes of
kaleidoscope photosynthesized Through cruel
endlessness* A human concept not so
unlike* [The void in our empty hearts, ticking, like time bombs] Until everything becomes still frame Shadows that can only Be seen in the light Still
{real/useful/meaningful} Once were not beastly or ugly, inhuman or cruel, Only ignorant, but even in the worst Dismal moments of this life They were beautiful as a rising sun, Or a white rose Sol pandemoniums Exfoliating face
shapelessness Topaz jazz patterns chasm Ravel Avalon dawn
mausoleum Discarded memory on a
hill that I have been climbing in my mind for the past decade That beats (drum
magazines like) bodies into the dirts]* I sit in bed and wait for some True salvation to save me From my delusions of death, my distant dream dance daunting the despair of dough Defibrillation’s lace Dried divulging decrepit dilapidations’ Dim dialects direction deceptive Digital depths drench
descending* “How could you leave me
here all alone!” Like a flock of crows For us, for tomorrow; I
metamorphosed From the [golden colour-twisted] {Branch/crown} of a
conifer* White bowels enamel
unraveling flowers* Reaching for the empty sun, Grasping waxed
photographs* Warped into melodies of
melancholy metamorphosis Pretzeled temples,
magenta penitentiaries Glass pastel yellow
parhelion At the throat of the
world twisted
in its saxophone noise Blotches mossy hemlock
sakura] Yolk irises
photosynthesizing unwinding Gaia* Colossus cross colliding
spiderweb denim* Brass gelatinous capsized
leviathan Hieroglyph lithium
twisting pixelation Variegated oasis’s
transmogrification shapelessness’s whiskey Valleys towel bough
disemboweled amalgamated wafered gates One [(dumb)] way or another, [{Now(could-it)/(you)-see}?]* {So/neither} do I It has no no meaning, love,
no mercy to share, only memories Oily magnolias
embroidered Sol’s pandemoniums Polaroid recoiling
corduroy void* And], no one* To save you from your insanities Yet-still-it{says/stays/hypnotizes/manipulates/lies-to-me/remains-untrue-unfaithful/means-little}
17. Irredemption’s
Precipice [The Final {Poem/Chapter/Sunset}] Bloated sugarcoated brushstroke Yolk token catacombs chrome cork Rusts constructed musculature Percussions’ erupting tufts of nothingness Lotus crochets pages oasis paisleys Aegises amalgamated gate transmogrifications rays Floral laurels sequin sprigs of Bridging prism [onyx] linden photosynthesis Fabric static avalanching branches Cognacs black fractal abstract dilapidated alabaster Damascus pastel envelopes
parhelion dawn Etch depthless decrepit echoes Over tenebrous yellow swell Meadows {mold/pull}
undiluted fog discombobulated Obsidian spindling river
ribboning] Glasses masquerading jade
haloes Apotheosis oak token
broken ocean Embroidering exfoliate
creating variegations Himalayas calcifying eyes kaleidoscope Rope unopened cornucopia Orangey corneas
phantasmagoria] Fleury ore porcelain amorphous Torch mash gaseously pastel Melding yellowing cowling
evangelical petals Twisting Sanskrits amber
flannel hydrangeas Paisleys leaf bleaching terpsichorean Weaving inebriating
painted dilapidated suede bays asphyxiated Tenebrous apotheosis,
ghosts’ ocean Exfoliate smouldering exodus Lavenders jagged ravels
jasmines entangled spangling pandemonium Portraits pretzeled emptiness Pit photosynthesis abyss] Amber Sanskrit viscus
Elysian phoenix Rapids [baptized tides lactose eye grafted shrapnel] Of daphnes weaving green
[seas] Andromeda onyx bronze
hecatonchires Melding ghetto Sol
primordial coals] Glyph pitch Icarus’s
stitching lithium Whispers sickled liquid
asphyxiation] Precipice sits shapeshifting eucalyptuses, Bristling nickels thistle hibiscuses Tides ivories
kaleidoscopes yolk Exfoliated lace
shapelessness[es] amidst chrysalis cisterns Mildew rouge centrifuging
petunia] Gorges orange floral horn’s ivy pyres Unwind geysers fibrous colliding Spirals metamorphosed eye
Exorcist resurrecting
restlessness] Churns hurricane
variegated jade Vapour wrapped in satin black Alabaster Damascus rapids of Dilapidation painting waves of Rays everglade grey
palisade oasis polymerization Crescents etching
bethels’ depths Of metal petals
ravel towelling disembowelling] Amygdala drawing tawny
obelisks] Chalked nocturne hemlock
blotches Tornado fables golden
corona] Flaking shapelessness;
glyph precipitation Nectars (outstretched hand jamming fingers into riverbed) Etch incandescent frescoed eroding Sol convulsing beacon
green dodecahedron] Congeal phoenixes twisted
eclipses Revolving cowls balsam
cauldron sulphur Fading nto trees uproot
juniper Reach equilibrium’s prism imprisoning Infinities dim unhinged from the Jaws collage eyes fibrous transmogrified Into bloom centrifuging
hues Deciphering lichen
cypress tress Drawing andromeda
constellations painted acreages Silhouettes swept
crepuscular rusted lustrous custard Into a stretch of speckled droplet Coppered sakura aquas’ sky, Colliding spiral irises
twine formaldehyde Gold polaroids
chlorophyll gilded vermillion] Abyss nickelling
hieroglyphics Styx asphyxiated Paralyzed paradisiacally trident’s Tendrils [emerald gems of
magenta’s] emptinesses Beneath sequin wreathe
terpsichorean beacons Kaleidoscope smoky opal
stroking topaz Photosynthesizing
rhinestone rose corona’s totem Carve marble arboretum
phoenix leaf Stretched vessel
sepulchre’s knotted nectar Oak metamorphosing tinge
obsidian Sleeve leaf eden
terpsichorean weavings] Hibiscuses wisp stitching
tarnished glyph Crystalline image
ribboning linen rivulet] Viscus nickelled whisking
amethyst adrift Sol coiling folded corona Cistern curdling bourbon
firmament Decaying pages fraying glade Serrated grey plait variegated shapeless Face assemblage constellations Lace braid onyx bronze gauze Column auburn volumes
psalm transmogrification Pillows cerulean spilling
sigil vermilion Disemboweled gowns valleys towel Amalgamated acreages misshapen Willows acrylic swill
bougainvilleas Opalescence crescents
etched sketching incandescences Disemboweling flowers valleys’ Enamel gowns boughs towel Stitches hieroglyphics pitched Lithium Styx crystalline lacing Constellations painted ray mosaicked Onyx bronzing andromedas
transmogrification Reddish assemblage
sunsetting nebula Embroidery corona coiling
corduroy foliage smouldering Uncorked orchards cyanide
wine vinyl Shapelessness cisterns whiskey Viscus eucalyptuses’
sickle Pitch twists’ conifer Styx’s crystalline [(litter) caliginous] Hieroglyph hibiscus shapeshifting Riptide lilac molasses glassed Aspens assemblage twined
photosynthesized Embroiders coiling oily
portraits Chlorophyll gilded silver
willows sigil Photosynthesis amidst
cliffside heineken Greying painted aether
constellations Chlorophyll orange
swivelling tinge lindens Camouflage tawny dawn’s
constellation Transmogrification
acreage gilded acrylic Amaryllises distilling
sigils chiselled Charcoals champagne mulberry greens Serpentine kneaded leaves
trees bleed onomatopoeias Prosthetic Armageddon tenebrous Sol Golds exfoliating paint crawling Fogs [divulging balsam]
polymerization Hydrangeas amethyst
tarnished hibiscuses* Fresco gold exfoliating
paintings Stitched abyss hieroglyphic Lithium cistern crystalline mixing Twisters pixelated gate painting Oasis wastelands amethyst Flannel chrysanthemums
[tangerine seams] Lavendered chasm
labyrinth amaranth Ambrosia oceans frescoed
corona Acreage rhythm sprigging
prisms Photosynthesis linden spindling Crimson linen tinge obsidian Splintering scintillating sculpting Salsa pulse sulphurs electroconvulsive Penultimate malt altering pulps Of carpeting red
parthenogenesis Outstretch etching mecca
zephyr Embroiders corduroy
magnolias exfoliating folding Sol’s Tear alstroemerias
variegated snaking shoe lace Supernova swimming timber
vinegar Hieroglyphic whisk Sanskrit shapeshifter Whiskey viscus’ lithium pitch cliffs’ amethyst hydrangeas Wilting gild silver
silhouettes sigil whittled photosynthesis Symphony brink sinking
blank chrysanthemums] 18. Applause “There’s something wrong with {Me/him/them}, isn’t
there?” Glyphs twists viscus
crystalline liquid Hieroglyphics depths etch
nectar effigies mechanized eye Porcelain [oars] ochre
brushstrokes yolk Greying constellations’
haloes rose corona oranges* Grain mosaicked pages variegated Oasis shaping gates of maples pull Golds embroidering Sol forge Metamorphosis orb moor
phantasmagorical* Entrails haloes magenta’s tempest Empty ascension penitentiary, Denims threads reddish ebbing Lemon’d wedges venomous
parthenogenesis [A]
{[paste({of/a})]/[fermenting]symphony} “And partings, their
roots are the same” *Imitation of believing that* There is one end to begin
with* *This cruelty
[&(worse)]* *[Or to] {be[its]/judge}* 19. Eaten (By The World) I got eaten by the world Stitching into a nook in
my evergreen flesh And sizzling at the roof
of a mouth Into motion, nothingness The heavens could have Graced them with everything But the universe itself [Blinking in and out of consciousnesses] Into infinity[‘s red,
green, and yellow ink stoplight] Than myself [(down duvets) Among the primordial dash Of (dank drifting)
daisies, dandelion, (tie-dyed) daffodils] Bright as a supernova, Slowly spilling, and
dying out)] {Of-a-juniper/on-{a/the}-fingertip} Disfigured ate away at the Corduroy of a velvety
teared sky Kept their [(red) stitched over] Eyes open and watched Deep into below the horizon Of fibres like a red flag
for Through [the] court[‘s defence] To land a slam dunk on a
horizon* [Pitiful bland &
uninspired]name[s] {&/as} we laugh Of the past wheezing into
tomorrow A casual conversation, or a newspaper Given flight by the wind, pouring Past picturesque polaroid pockmarked Perfection plastered plastic pliant Postcard portraits porcelain Orchards amorphous quarters Fleury Ouroboros moor Metamorphosis, corridors
phantasmagoria]* Life[see] their [ice]
cold glances preparing for winter* Buried in the rocks of a
celestial hike Scarves of a colourful
forest A thousandth times standing Stillborn at the end of a-diving Board; [flipping over capsized Into the black lakes of jasper Rorschach jade rays shading lapis aspens assemblages Gauzing drawn in mahoganies Cardiovascular brass castaway Damascus elastics
tapestries masquerades] Lungs of the dirt an inside-out Rose roaring into the
concretes Of (madness or) salvation
* Disappearing into the
heavens* Through [the] court[‘s defence] To land a slam dunk on a
horizon* Crushed into incense abscess of a blue eyes Subdividing kaleidoscopes roping Autumns’ bottomless abyss Uncorked [mortis]
metamorphosing* The sound of silence;
cascading into the cracks of a dawn Highs and the lowest lows
[the
incomplete turn of century] Tempest wrestling
caress[es pestilent evanescences] Of the depths of my iron
heart And spit an apple tree through The mouths of the gutters Of my clouded mind dime Xylophone Sol exfoliating Delving yellows envelope Swelling parhelions
comets Withering into the summer
afternoon* Hallways braids suedes pages Formulaic glades oxygenating Daisies ray of mazes parade Aegises greyed polymerization Shaping amalgamated laced onyx Blonde bonsai dawns bay
transmogrification Like a blacksmith of
[the] eclipse They were never meant to
be Like a wildfire?[to{see/sing} Your
{amalgamation/vilification} (bearing its own fruit)] “One person in your
[entire] life” “Person is [only]
you[rself]” (Rust{ed/ing} dilapidated)] shape of you [(Born to stillness images of Monochromes bent out of shapes Crumbling to dus{t/k}
percussion reconstructed)] A low coded prison of words Waiting in a long line
for the period that comes {after/at-the-end-of} {their-story/it-all}* *{Like/in} a shattered
[rearview] mirror [or a split photograph (both here and not, here)]* {Sea/cloud} of butterflies returning home {in/to} The eyes of the sunset together After dim dark winter, rising like a rouge wave Against the amethysts orangish [shores and] Formaldehyde lights
[tie-]dyeing horizons In the oak ribboning
slithering spiralled of open waves* 20. (Rafflesia) Butterfly
Web Can you [not] tell me
[{what[or]/who} I am, (brother)?] {Never/only/not}
[{that/so/this}] far Hieroglyphs stitched Styx
Nihilistic lithium Incendiaries wisteria
fairy marionette] Disentangled Amrita, [phoenix stitched] Congealing helix
cathedrals Vinyl asylums’ behind
sunrising eyes Spiralling Gaia’s lilac
black Rorschach Capsizing horizons
cauterize violet Porcelain torch amorphous
orchards contorting stroke Lakes vaporous bays
shapelessnesses Eclipsing Styx nickelled
sickle Monolith twister
scripture Sanskrit pitch Salsas parchments
escarpments’ arches carpeting Incorporeal oak token
smoky opal Branch avalanche
chrysanthemums jasmine patterns {Beauty/[meaning]/enlightenments/[(renaissance)]} From [the ({true/dull/cruel})] Unassuming
{ugliness[of]/[chaos(&)]/darkness[es’/(rhythm)]} Not knowing any better than ourselves we, a dream of salvation (that will never come; the final Drop of rain in a desert
of souls exfoliating into shape)] Yolk token bronze onyx [dawn tawny column gondola drawn spiralling irises tie-dye wind] Transmogrified bibles
[spindling scintillations] Gardens marmalade
vertebrae fray grey abstentions of tinged singed labyrinthine fringe Opalescent crescent
efflorescent depths Foliage gilding sigil
whittling chisel Helix twist hieroglyph
Sanskrit eclipsing Auburn bronze
constellation acreage tinge] Painting gate centrifuging jewelry Chrome peons’ exfoliate clay Marionettes outstretched zephyrs Tress sketch hemlock gouache Etch meshing zest spectres Vesicular manifests’
incandescence Of a grand bleak
{jury-of-a/cruel/false[ly]} desensitized world* Beaded leaves ebbing tenebrous ghost) ephemeral {screaming/cacophonous} {Liberty/exhilarations} of empty decibels etch fuming outstretching into depth’s lead resin Threads incandescent mechanism Dammed canopies wreath Dim rivers amidst the silence, Swimming through the void Their (still) eyes open(ing) in the mud; Where the green grass watched From the shoreline like a dead Man, singing gospels to those Born dumbfounded without Ears or gods, (religion, or Belief, deaf families of words In a long line hiding under, Between the crevices in the Sheets and papers of their madness, Their stories like a single page Gliding through the infinite Corridors of a mind lost in the dark; Or a house in the woods burning In muffling silence; reaching Out into the grey {clouds/smoke} With black ink and white noise, Anchored in the solemn solitude Of a billion hands; Wrapped in gauze like a soldier hit by a mine, Or a child swallowed whole by tank treads, Or a word caught between The jaws of false victory, no victory, And I walk lucidly through The banner into the symphony Of the blind night without Question, feeling my way Through the great pointlessness Of it all, unable to accept Fact isn’t fiction, as the earth turns, God-willing, as the fruit ripened Will rot one day on its vine, As the flower withers into nothing {But/more-then} a memory, As the end signifies a beginning, As the clouds watch you and the Endless pull of a ravenous sky, Crumpling into centrifuging tides Of shapes lace acreage folding Pages misshapen drape constellation Amalgamated;)] I’m sorry One blind eye of) law or chaos (Staring into semiconscious {this/our/shadowed/knotting-effigy} Endless abysses’ of
{white/black/grey/stripes})] {The/this} world is pumping, filtering, Flowing through my
{senile-senses/varicose-veins} [{time/god}] {Love-you/feel-a-thing-[for-you]/forgive} {[Like-I-used-to/now/this-suffering]} Chartreuse illuminating
this paint shapeshifting glyph] Yellowish glyph pitch
precipitation* Moving, shifting in the
wind* [Gulfs’ mauve mush malts molten Muddy marshes’] daffodils
{for/from} an empty hand* [And deep rivers] where souls [Seek] refuge in the dark
and dim* And the [chrome grey] cities [Bustle,] and [burst with majesty for] The
[{fresco/depth/sketching/mornings’/mosaic} of] rain* Sung tenebrous nebula
paraselene {Shatter[ing,]/splits,-like-an-atom[s-apple-rotting]} Into a million pieces” Like green tornadoes acrylic Existence scrawled across vacant Walls polymerizing tide
transmogrification Rapid glass capsized
caramelize Metamorphosing gorges
floral orbit vortex Painting creation grey
acres] Of [null yolked]
salvation[ism] Caught between the lines Null, {the/a} tie-dyed
crossfire)]* {With/in} a {token/ochre}
of {colour/words} [Stories in the flight of
a staircase] Forevermore The labyrinths of your
creations] [The (yew luminary obsidians rhythmic Spiralling linens Spindled) Withering form of the sun, (Spun thundering) watching, { Waiting/immortal/sitting-among-the-(red-egg-yolk-of)-stars}] Bloated ocean gladiolus
molten token Corneas phantasmagoric metamorphosed Cork lotus orchards florally orbiting coronas ambrosias bottomless Autumns bronzing
transmogrified Stitched hieroglyphic asphyxiation Pages contagious aethers rays ricocheting Glades faded haze eyes’ formaldehydes Subdividing papyruses’ vines Spiral unwinding Gaia
photosynthesized Like small crunching continents (To go step
on one at a time)]* {Never-turns-itself-dizzy/forgets-itself,-a-child} { Again/forever}* {Note/tear/blink/word/memory/wink} {Sharp-end-of-the-road/grey-road’s
end}] Labyrinthine linden crimson rhythmic gin linen ribboning brim disfiguring fingertips hickory Styx whisking onyx pitches blistering hieroglyphic crystalline twisted photosynthesis* Onyx precipitation painting oasis Mosaicked braiding haloes
golden Gilded [cerulean pillowy swiveling] Silhouetting sigils
chiseled vermilion Flickering mithril viscus
hibiscuses* Rays shade marmalade
fraying pages undulating Wind of your passing
glance* Eye blindly watching, waiting (For the end of
{the/this} world)] [(On) the dulled pain of] yesterday[’s {Joys/sun}] for
tomorrow[’s {sorrow/rain}]* (Something dearly
beautiful)]* [{To-the-question/in-this}]* [{Only/but} a reality I
couldn’t accept* Until the flower is left
bare; & dry as a bone Pulled from moments trapped In time like rafflesias Blind non)existence]*
“How could you leave me
here all alone?” Currents of times battering My castaway mind my Prison cells ebbing nebulously Eclipses drip resins tether Ebony lead leathery Reddened parthenogenesis] And {unending/utter}]
{sunset/silence}* [Riptides colliding rhinestone bending cemetary] {Serenity/[the]clos{e/ing}-[off]}* 21. Cadenza (Asphodel
Meadows)
As the cars pass below Second hand clocks In its hands-kneading-dough-into-bread
in the corner of an old bookstore [Drawing blood] on an old
man’s face The new moon that pours itself Into the mirror of the
lake like a rusted {steel/iron} {window/cup} In the distance, the sound of footsteps-swallowed-in-the-fullness-of-nostalgia Still ringing like a [church] bell {Among/in} {the/my}
{stones/ears} Itself whole and inside-out; [Spits out its image morphed Into a black and white
portraits’ amorphous] Butterflies hover half dead Over dilapidated
dandelions of ivory And run on scattering across {the/pavement} Mosaic of a city street made Jags bare and broken;
[false, finite] Still, the trees wait to
shed their tears; small moths cocoons from a droplet of Damascus-decayed I was there with you and Michael, left hiking through mud when we lost our way, our thick boots Slick sifting through muck within the confines of that nostalgic ramshackle place Rivers of pride running
deep within the trees-the-Warcry-of-[a]-{beating/broken}-heart[s] The other side, and our parents, angry-self-justified,-entangled-in-the-shadows Or still with eyes full of tears,-{and/[buzzing]like}-{cicadas[or]/[c**k]roaches} Told us to never leave
their gaze again-the-buzzing-colony-of-wasps Caterpillar need no sanctuary,-cushioned-by-the-hive-of-cities-under-Morningstar-sky Life is their sanctuaries, & yet, All must dissolve into an Oozing mess to become a butterfly, Taking all the good parts and Cleansing the bad until something New is born for a second time,-nigredo-to-albedo,-then-citrinitas-and-rubedo Fragilely abstracted, this ballooning Of a body traded for
wings* [Looking for a salvation
that died then-(as-if-only-the-dial-tone-of-a-childhood-never-answered)] Me with {raging/glaring} faces)] Alabaster walls-yesterday] Until you have seen
beyond the curtain An open hand conducting Symphonies [of blackness]
Even now I hear you
humming your anemoia {Your-face[flushed-again]/[&]remember} {Memory/mirrors/mornings[&]/men} {With/of} greyed out
{photographs/magazines} Paisley tornados maelstrom golden ore exfoliating painted oasis variegated shapes’ pasted Acreage acrylics wildernesses abyss Crystalline discs liquid
glyph photosynthesis] Gaia twine vines iris
kaleidoscope token Hybrid spirals’ violet ivory Stitch conifer picturesque Lithium onyx mandalas Camouflaging constellations Assemblages a bronze fog Lager bottomless bliss cisterns Wicker whiskey liquor hickories Bibles lilac black interlace [Rays] transmogrification [Grass like braided
blades fray] Hallucinogenic nebulas
reddened ebonies parthenogenesis Paraselene tree leaves seamstress-monolith Eclipse glyph lithium Greys flaying fringed
obsidian Singing from the porch of childhood That by all means
[should] no longer exist[s] In the dark, [the light a Promised land we fools
will never reach] “Cocoon of {pain/misery/anger}
and loneliness [without ever saying sorry]” To believe in, no God, {to/no} love, (Nothing,) but
{myself/despair}]* *There’s something wrong with him, Isn’t there? [The ({asphodel/dandelion}) man] Standing{there/alone}in the-middle-of-the Night in the rain, does
he know?* {Would/to/always} {miss/hear/to} {Him/the/make} {Would-they/music/him-suffer}but-it-wasn’t-me-who-closed-the-door,-just-look-at-you,-now [Forgetting,-such is the {role[&]/reality} Of a man with no love, no
grace]-you-wouldn’t-let-me-be;-and-so Under a spitting black shadow without [(Colour,) ever seeing] a [single faint] Light to speak of; swimming Eye through the {foggy/void}
of another[s] cruel morning Thorns-see-its-unbreakable-bonds-will-tie-you-down,-will-keep-you-chained-forgotten-&-alone] It is much better to-learn-to swim Through an ocean of madness Then be sane enough to love a drop of {That-which/what} isn’t there,-let-me-go-[home,-the(glass)stars-have-(already)-fallen(behind)] A single missing red {rosepetal/piece} in an Orchard of quartz
amorphous porcelain ore With an {empty/broken} heart than To-die-rejected by all
you’ve ever known The-death-of the caterpillar, Or are the-butterfly-and Caterpillar [one-and-the-same,
(cruel, lullabies-born-from-the-stains-of-time-all-yellow-&-red)?] {Coin flip/innocence/playful/communal}? (A[n]) {exodus/gamble/ignorance/vengeance} {Tumbling/unwinding}down-to-the-bottom-of-{existences/decay} I-had-no-choice[in-the-first-place(the-fall-is-coming,-hush-brother-{sleep,/can-you-not-see-it?})] [Can-you-not-feel?As-the-colour-peels-from-the-page-leaving-only-memory,-do-you-not-know?] Somewhere-along-the-path-through-that-forest-lost-in-the-music-of-silence-and-stillness-singing [(And)lost-in-that(godforsaken)place(a-mirror-to-this-reality,-in-which-somehow)]I-am-still-here [(Still{me/worthless/dead}spreading-the-seeds-of-my-undoing-blossoming-across-a-red-throat)] And-singing[until-laughter(deafens-the-cauliflower-ear-like-a-dandelion-in-old-varicosed-veins)] Spreads-its-petals-in-the-dark-reaching-for-a-salvation-that-will-never-come-only-dead-nostalgia Clinging-to-a-madness-that-left-like-the-stars-before-morning-dull-embers-rejected-by-the pyres Suns-eclipsed-by-the-moon-beautiful,-immortal,-temporary,-and-gone-like-the-summertime-heat Subjugated-by-the-dry-wind,-and-dead-grass,-to-the-four-{horsemen/riders}-to-the-trumpeter-& The-last-of-a-series-of-notes-[for-deaf-musicians-&-blind-artists-numb-passion-and-cold-angers] Sucking-up-the-[radioactive]-dust-of[a-bombshell-blinded-and-pulsating-heart-called]-tomorrow
“As-the-walls-come-down-and,-as-I-look-in-your-eyes,-my-fear-begins-to-fade,-recalling-all-of The-times,-I-have-died,-and-will-die,-It's-all-right” “I-don't-mind” No,-there-[never]-was-{a/no}-{choice[or]/difference}[in-the-first-place]only-a-silent-static-echo Forgotten-somewhere-at-the-bottom-of-it-all[my-shadow-outstretched-like-the-hands-of-a-clock] [Or-the-fingers-of-mountains-reaching-out-to-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-extinguished-all] From-long-before-the-need-to-see-through-darkness-the-beacon-of-a-moon-high-above-my-head [From-empty-road-that-twists-and-turns-like-a-snake-in-grass-or-a-naked-river-flowing-through] [Pale-halo-blanketing-sacrosanct-a-banquet-of-voices-muttering-the-sound-of-torture-in-my-ear] [I-am-still-dreaming-of-the-world-that-left-me-to-die,-wanting-(for-all)the-warmth-(that-god-&)] [It{couldn’t/wouldn’t/cannot}-{give/offer/bring}-me(as-yet,-for-all-my-words;-it-does-not-care)] © 2025 R.J CalzonettiAuthor's Note
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Added on April 4, 2025 Last Updated on April 5, 2025 Author
R.J CalzonettiBurlington, Halton, CanadaAboutMost of my poems can be differing lengths depending on the time you want to spend reading them. You can avoid reading anything brackets, or read it all. If you want an in-between, you can read only th.. more..Writing
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